As long time followers of WARNNN already know, Brother X-Squared is a potent activist, black futurist, scholar, philosopher, and visionary thinker. He is a titan in the history of Black America and American arts and letters. In this newest interview, Brother X-Squared has returned to share his thoughts about the Superbowl game between Denver and Seattle, President Obama's State of the Union Speech, and to reflect on the death of the great Philip Seymour Hoffman. . .
. WARNNN: It is a pleasure to speak with you Brother X-Squared. We last spoke several months ago and you promised to return more frequently. I am so happy that you have found the time to bless us with an interview. Every American is caught up in Superbowl fever. You know I am a New England Patriots fan. So I will be watching just for the commercials. Who are you picking to win the game? And what projects have you been working on these past months?
Brother X-Squared: Weakness is a trait that is most becoming of you. You know my thoughts about organized sports where the white man reaps all of the rewards and he throws down crumbs from his plantation box--what you lost souls call the "owner's box"--down onto his little slaves running about like they are buck-dancing and prancing about for his pleasure. Commercials are a way of programming your mind state to give your money to this corrupt casino capitalist game of false desires that are based on evil and wicked mind manipulation brought to this country by the master propagandists of Nazi Germany and those who trained in its schools and universities!
WARNNN: I know you are one for hyperbole. But you must find some joy in the spectacle of the Superbowl? The music, the competition?
Brother X-Squared:Does a wet crow facing due east over a field of cotton fear for his safety while he sleeps at night in a tree?
The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) works hard to bring you, our readers, the stories and information that you cannot find anywhere else. In the four years since our founding, we have had the good fortune to bring you candid interviews with such public figures as Herman Cain, Jesse Jackson and Pat Buchanan. Some of our greatest coups have involved exclusive interviews with such personalities as Racism, Whiteness, and Glenn Beck's ill-fated Blackboard. And of course, the one and only Brother X-Squared made his Internet debut on our site.
The connections run deep from the White House, to PBS, the CIA, and to the State Department. The Petraeus sex scandal and cover-up are just one part of a many tentacled tale of deceit, corruption, violence, and murder.
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Correlation is causation. News junkies also know that a pattern of events means that they must all be related and connected to each other in some way. To deny these facts is to deny reality.
The liberal media has been conspiring to suppress the truth about the Obama Administration's cover up of the events in Benghazi, Libya where several months ago an American consulate was overrun, and the ambassador, along with several other people, was killed. While Fox News and the brave patriots on the Internet have been the only voices willing to tell the American people the truth about Libya, events have continued to develop and spin out of control. Several days ago, Iran tried to shoot down an American drone which was on a peaceful mission in international waters. Now, the (recently resigned) head of the CIA is embroiled in a scandal which reaches to the top levels of the Pentagon, the FBI, and Congress.
Obama revealed his true nature during the election when he used voter suppression tactics and a concerted campaign of lies and character assassination against the Republican challenger in order to maintain his illegitimate hold on the White House. Now, Obama is making sure that all of the parties connected to the Libya disaster and his various other foreign policy failures are removed from play.
Apparently, the much beloved Sesame Street character known as Elmo, has for many years, been an off the books contract agent for the CIA. In much the same way that the State Department issues diplomatic credentials as cover for CIA operatives, Elmo was able to use his position with PBS, and as a worldwide ambassador to children, in order to hide in plain sight.
The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) works hard to bring you, our readers, the stories and information that you care about most. In the three years since our founding, we have had the good fortune to bring you candid interviews with such public figures as Jesse Jackson and Pat Buchanan. Some of our greatest coups have involved exclusive interviews with such personalities as Racism, Whiteness, and Glenn Beck's ill-fated Blackboard. And of course, the one and only Brother X-Squared made his Internet debut on our site.
In an effort to bring you cutting edge interviews with some of the country's leading figures, we have requested a chat with Republican Party front runner Mr. Herman Cain. Given our tumultuous history with Mr. Cain, we expected to be declined an on the record conversation. Much to our surprise he agreed to a one on one interview with WARNNN. In this candid conversation Herman Cain leaves no stone uncovered as he directly addresses a number of issues, most notably the recent charges that he sexually harassed two of his female employees while head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s.
WARNNN: Hello Mr. Cain, I would like to thank you for agreeing to do an interview. I know that you are very busy and your schedule has many demands placed on it. It is truly a pleasure to be able to chat with you.
Herman Cain: No problem at all. I love getting a chance to share my message with the people. The more they hear about how I am bringing businesses experience and plain talking truth to solving this country's problems the more excited they get. As President of Godfather's Pizza I know how to solve problems, I took a failing company and turned it around, I am also a bestselling author, you can hear my talks all over the country, I haven't even raised my speaking fees and...
WARNNN: We are very familiar with your career. It is quite distinguished. The American people have gotten a chance to know you these last few months and...
Herman Cain: Please let me continue. And I raised profits and efficiency. I even made pizzas myself! Did you know that I am a grandfather and that I beat stage 4 cancer. I am also a husband, a churchgoer, a Christian and...
WARNNN: Let's cut to the chase Mr. Cain, if you would allow us. You have said some very controversial things on the way to your party's presidential nomination in 2012. You have suggested that black people are brainwashed and not capable of thinking for themselves. You have called black people who don't support you slaves on a plantation. Do you still believe that? Why did you criticize, quite correctly, Rick Perry for frequenting a family camp called "Niggerhead," and then walk back your statement when Rush Limbaugh and others said you were playing the race card? Please explain?
Herman Cain: No, I didn't. You misunderstood me. Um, I was kidding and America needs to get a sense of humor. So yes, I am like Harriett Tubman. I will lead you to freedom, like her, I got a gun to shoot any of those confused slaves who won't run to freedom and want to run back to slave catchers like Cornel West and those other liberals with the Democratic Party.
Me and the good people of the Tea Party, along with good friends like Neal Boortz (his family almost owned my kin in the good old days of slavery) who love me and aren't racist will show you the way. If blacks would get off the plantation and not be brainwashed their lives would be much better.
Let's talk about something that matters like my plan to bring economic prosperity back to the United States please.
WARNNN: Fair point. Your 9-9-9 plan has been called regressive and unfair to poor and working class people. In fact, the plan will not raise sufficient revenue and will make income and wealth inequality worst. A majority of Americans think that we need a more fair economy, how does your plan accomplish this?
Herman Cain:...............You need to talk to my secret advisers and special most respected experts, your ciphering be wrong on this issue. Your so-called facts aren't right. Most important, if you aren't rich it is your own fault. You are a bum who is lazy if you aren't rich like me. Deal with it.
WARNNN: Okay, as an African-American, how do think your plan will help the middle class of that group, those strivers who saw their wealth and homes wiped out by the Great Recession?
Herman Cain: First of all, they need to go protest outside the White House, this is all Obama's fault. Second, I am not an African anything. I am a black American. I have empowerment zones that will let you create growth. No regulations, no zoning rules, nothing to hold back the job creators. Plus, you don't pay no taxes if you start up a business there and businesses will be freed of paying the minimum wage. Don't you see, it will be amazing! Plus, with my plan you don't pay taxes on used food or used goods. It is transparent and makes sense!
WARNNN: So you want people to dumpster dive? To eat old and used food? What about clothing? You want the working classes and poor to buy used clothes and other items? You want the American people to work in sweatshops without any rules for their safety and protection?
Herman Cain: I was po' growing up. Sometimes you got's to live within your means and make hard choices. I am tired and you are coming after me like I talked bad about your momma or something.
WARNNN: Let's change gears for a moment. During a recent interview you said that if you were elected President that you would select more Supreme Court Justices like Clarence Thomas? He is under a great deal of criticism for accepting monies from parties to cases that have come before the court. His wife was actually on the payroll of one of the plaintiffs in a case he presided over. There are calls for an investigation and perhaps his impeachment. Do these facts trouble you at all? Would you like to reassess your endorsement of Clarence Thomas?
WARNNN: Like Clarence Thomas, you have also been accused of sexual harassment. Are these charges false? Did you sexually harass two women, who....
Herman Cain: I don't know what you are talking about, I have no recollection of those matters.
WARNNN: So two women were not each paid a 5 figure settlement, and agreed to never talk about the purported incidents where you supposedly harassed them?
Herman Cain: Oh those women. Now I remember. I told HR to handle it. I don't know what happened after then. I am ready for my high tech lynching just like Clarence Thomas. I am a front runner and a target. Those liberals at Politico are picking on me 'cause I am a strong black man! And...
WARNNN: Politico is hardly liberal Mr. Cain. In fact, you knew about this story for weeks and chose to do nothing about it. Level with us, they say the cover up is always worse than the crime. Come clean. What really happened Mr. Cain? Your public and the American people deserve to know.
Herman Cain: Okay, one more time. When I was growing up we were poor, really poor. I finally worked really hard you know. Kept my noise clean and out of all that Civil Rights trouble making. But I saw things, you know. The guys with the money, driving around with the chromed out Cadillac, getting all of the women. My dad eventually saved up enough money to buy one, you know, a way of saying, "look we made it!" But, I never forgot those men with the fancy cars and all the attention and women they had. Real respect, you know what I mean.
WARNNN: I think I see where this is going, did you...
Herman Cain: Let me finish. As a man of god, I know the power of baring one's soul in the eyes of the people. So, I learned some rules from them, rules to keep me out of trouble. That is why anyone who works for me must get my permission to talk first, I want silence and obedience. There are other rules too, women especially can't make eye contact with me. That isn't permitted. If you look me in the eyes it means you want me, you want to get to know me.
WARNNN: Wow. Let me confirm. Are you saying these women came onto you in some way? Lured you in?
Herman Cain: Toot sweet they did! I told them, you look at me it means that you want the Herman Cain experience, I am the Herminator and I won't be stopped. I told them, you are gonna get on board the Cain train one way or another! Dig it!
WARNNN: What else happened? You are a married man Mr. Cain. Did that not enter your mind?
Herman Cain: You see one of those women is from Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, being a poor boy who grew up in the South and riding in the back of the bus 'cause I didn't want any trouble, I dreamed of such an exotic woman. I stole sips from the white water fountain when I was growing up and figures what's the big deal, so I just had to have some of her sweet love. Don't you get me? Makes sense, right?
WARNNN: You have to appreciate the irony Mr. Cain, you are an admirer of Clarence Thomas, a man who sexually harassed Anita Hill and made lurid jokes about pubic hair and referenced porno movies and the actor Long Dong Silver. Now you are basically admitting that you harassed those two women years ago?
Herman Cain: I never harassed them. But, you got to let Cain be Cain. I offered them the Herman Cain experience after they made eye contact with me and dared to speak without being spoken to first. That is a huge difference. Clarence may have had his Long Dong Silver jokes, but I got the "9-9-9." You get me? 9 inches of length, 9 inches of girth, and 9 hours of satisfaction! I am not like that fake black man Barack Obama, I am the real deal, a real black man. I am black walnut ice cream, not the flavor of the month, I told those women that you can eat it on the cone or the cup, it lasts longer than a week.
WARNNN: Excuse me? Would you like to repeat that? That is so offensive that...
Herman Cain: This horse done be out the barn, don't stop me now. I don't snuff my own seeds, I's follow through on my business to completion. You have a woman and you leave her smoking and then you have a smoke after. Get me? In fact, I told those women, the one in the hotel actually, that the way to know if meat is good is too taste it. If it is too salty you know the ingredients are cheap. I ain't salty. I am "grade A," high quality.
WARNNN: Why did you settle? Did these women rebuff your advances? Threaten to sue, to out you, ruin your career?
Herman Cain: We made a deal. I told them that I can't be denied, they would give in eventually because I am the Herminator. The only way to keep women away from me is to put me inside a building surrounded by an electric fence that says in English and Spanish that if you touch it you will be electrocuted. We knew that wasn't going to work, so a little hush money and their walking papers seemed like the best deal.
WARNNN: One quick, final question. Are you at all worried that these accusations could hurt your campaign? That by admitting to these charges that your run for the presidency will be derailed?
WARNNN: I do have to say that you did not disappoint us Mr. Cain. Good luck with your campaign and I do hope that we get to chat with you again.
Herman Cain: I am off to sell some books, I got's alot of people to talk with and convert. You will see me again soon. God bless America. I love this country.
The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) is proud to bring you the latest installment in our recurring series of interviews with Brother X-Squared, president of the North American Chapter of the Renewed Black Panther Party.
As long time followers of WARNNN already know, Brother X-Squared is a potent activist, black futurist, and visionary thinker. His observations and opinions have had explosive power as they draw attention from points far and wide, and all directions on the political compass.
It has been several months since our last conversation with Brother X-Squared. He now returns from his self-imposed exile to offer his opinions on such wide ranging topics as President Barack Obama, the 2011 midterm elections, and the current state of popular culture, arts, and letters.
WARNNN: Hello Brother X-Squared. It has been such a long time since we last spoke. What have you been up to? Where have you been? So much has transpired in these last few months. Our readers have been repeatedly asking as to your whereabouts, and are hungry for your insights.
Brother X-Squared: I see that you are gracious and humble before me. I appreciate that. Oftentimes, you are a bit obstinate and willful Brother Chauncey. Perhaps now you are hungry for my wisdom. Although, because of my absence, I will have to begin slowly and speak like a genius to a child as your mental mind state has become flaccid and your brain incapable of handling my melanin infused genius. I have been off getting ready for the inevitable fall of this wicked country. As I predicted, all of the forces of capitalist witchcraft racist exploitation are finally bringing down this house that race built. The foundation is rotten. A hurricane is coming to cleanse Amerikkka from the Earth! It will be glorious to behold!
WARNNN: Are you that cynical? Is the U.S. really at its end? When will this happen? The date, the year? Please share.
Brother X-Squared: Sorry Brother Chauncey. Knowledge is reserved for those who have earned it. The captive black man in America deserves his fate. Once he comes into full knowledge, the so-called Black American neo-slave will come to Brother X-Squared and the renewed Black Panthers. This is Nubian Darwinism in action. Only the strong survive. I am ready: I have soybeans, hemp, peanuts, mineral water, shea butter, and many volumes of books for when the time is right. What a joke your Obamazombies are! So happy to have a halfrican prince in "charge" as "President." They done pulled the nigger wool over your sleepy eyes. What a beautiful irony. You weak captive negroes cheered "yes, we can!" just as history will remember Obama as the last President of the American Empire. He is your Nero! Lapdog fools.
WARNNN: Are you happy about this?
Brother X-Squared: How does a black coon dog who has just treed a white opossum on the evening before Juneteenth in the middle of a rainstorm feel?
WARNNN: Huh? What are you talking about? Coon dogs? Juneteenth?
Brother X-Squared: Once more, you have no knowledge of your own history, the Africanisms that live in all true Nubians. Pathetic. The answer is yes! Oh yes, I am happy. The 2010 Tea Bagger election is one more nail in the coffin of this racist country. The chickens are coming home to roost and they are going to smother the white devils and their colored supplicants who run this country.
WARNNN: Since you introduced the topic. Please give us more thoughts on the tea party election? What do you think caused it? How does Fox News, and Sarah Palin with her "mamma grizzlies" fit into this puzzle? What could Obama have done to help the Democrats?
Brother X-Squared: So much to explain. This is so simple. The White House is a white house. It was built with slave labor. There is no way for a black man to have justice in this society. Even though Obama is a spiritual zero because his white momma's energy canceled out his hot in the pants African daddy's melanin force, Obama is still a half-negro. He can't escape the force of history! Impossible!
WARNNN: Be careful now, isn't that a bit close to the nonsense on genes, blood, and mystical forces that D'Souza and Gingrich were peddling about Obama and his father?
Brother X-Squared: Caution is for weak negroes such as yourself. D'Souza and Gingrich--two sick and twisted white devils, the former being a coconut who would take that insult as a complement--have no idea about the powers of the Zombi! What we true Africans know to be rooted in Haiti home of the Black radical freedom fighter visionary Toussaint L'Ouverture! Oh yes, a great man who drove out the white devils from his country. The weak white man was afraid of the mystical forces embodied by human black gold they brought to their so-called "new world." Our obeah powers, our Voodoo, our Candomble put a psychic scar on white people. To this day most ofays tremble with fear of the night. So it is natural that when they see a halfrican mulatto--even though his negritude melanin forces are very diluted--like Obama that white folks would be terrified. Thus, their use of atom bombs and fighter planes and machine guns to conquer the world for the white man doesn't have the virility or strength to engage true Nubians and our colored allies in physical, psychic, or intellectual battle!
Ultimately, the leadership of this country is rotten down to its core. The funny thing is, the white devils who run things really only care about green and gold! Money. They get those dumb hillbilly angry white people to put on costumes and run around acting stupid. A diversion from the big plan. Moreover, as some smart white race warriors such as Joe Feagin have pointed out, the white people in this country are delusional, sick with this thing called "the white racial frame." Their minds can't even process or accept that a so-called black man is President. They are losing their damn minds. Imagine if a real Nubian warrior such as Brother X-Squared were in charge. The sex-freak tea bagger crowd would have certainly committed hara-kiri! Mass suicide!
WARNNN: What of Fox News and Sarah Palin?
Brother X-Squared: I love Fox News!
WARNNN: Huh? Are you serious?
Brother X-Squared: Again, you are playing the white man's two dimensional checkers while I am playing that Star Trek 3d chess mixed up with that Star Wars holographic effect. You and the other captive Africans in America will never be free because you don't understand the white man's tricknology. He hides things in plain sight. Right out in the open just like the Russians during the Cold War and those devilish slave traders the British during World War Two. Fox News, Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck are telling you everything they are going to do their enemies. Everyday they give marching orders to their armies. You fools sit around trying to reveal some deeper meaning behind the words of those devils. There is none. That cabal of Caucasian evil believes in eliminationism. They are going to wipe you black and brown fools out and leave some around to be slaves. Watch. You will see.
WARNNN: That is so much hyperbole.
Brother X-Squared: Prove to me that I am wrong. You have a bunch of drug addicted likely pedophiles in Beck and Limbaugh leading a whole revolution of similarly deranged white people and their black and brown overseers. If you can't see what is as plain as that big negro nose on your face, I can't help open your eyes. On that Palin witch. Now, she is dangerous. If you knew your history you would know that most of those fascists like Hitler and the KKK for example, knew how to use the "so called" sacred idea of white women's nobility and purity to motivate white people into killing black and brown people. Think of how many Nubians were hung from trees because some white trash Southern woman cried rape. As though a proud Black man would lay with such a thing, especially given that from slavery on, the white woman would come to the Nubian god for an infusion of melanin life force that her weak-willed husband could not give her. Why take what you can get for free! Oh yes! Riddle me that!
But, there is something truly devious going on with Sarah Palin. Do you see it Brother Chauncey?
WARNNN: Hmmmm, her false populism? Palin's ability to mine white racial resentment around a narrative of "real America?"
Brother X-Squared: You think too much. "Mamma grizzlies" is a perversion! Another signal to the sex deviancy practiced by the tea baggers. These white sick sex perverts have a political movement based on putting one's testicles in the faces of people. They are capable of anything. That mama grizzly mess is a signal to bestiality! Oh yes! These tea bagger white people are sick! It is doubly disgusting because as our indigenous Brown and Red brothers--all high respect do to our allies in the struggle--have taught us the bear is a powerful creature of sacred power! A truly noble creature from Mother Gaia is now debased by the craven likes of Sarah Palin. Palin so hates you black people, even that Uncle Tom Pastor Manning can see it, that she has photos taken with a slave catching net! Oh the evil is so transparent!
WARNNN: Did I tell you how much we missed you? Never, ever, would I have put those pieces together in such a way...
Brother X-Squared: You are a child at the knees of Brother X-Squared, a padawan. I on the other hand am Master Yoda. Next question.
WARNNN:What are your thoughts on Barack Obama and his trip to India?
Brother X-Squared: More greatness. The truth is like an onion, layered, hidden, burning to the eyes of those whose mental nictitating protective membranes are not prepared. Obama is a middle man, he is sent to grovel to the brown peoples of the Earth for money. Uncle Sam, who in reality was a meat salesman before his visage was used to get dumb Americans to go die by the thousands in Europe during World War One, is dead broke. Now he goes around with a begging bowl. So ironic given that brothers like DuBois and those at the Bandung Conference were predicting that the darker races would rule the Earth! Now that moment is finally here. So wondrous to see history unfurl before our very eyes.
Did you know that Obama is likely practicing some type of witchcraft and mysticism while in India?
WARNNN: What are you talking about? Again, that sounds preposterous. He is there to negotiate a trade agreement and to make sure that the U.S. can try to balance China's growth and influence as she rises to superpower status.
Brother X-Squared: It is often the most ignorant who are the most assured in their beliefs. And that is most certainly you and not me in this case...
The Indians are tricky. In fact, they are Aryans--white people! They, like Obama, have a veneer of color on them. But in reality, they, like the captive black man in America, worship whiteness and the British culture! Even in this country the Indians were declared white for purposes of immigration and to be exempt from Jim Crow! How absurd, many of those so-called Indians are darker than most natural born Nubians, but somehow they get called White! Sick.
Thus, Indians can marshal all sorts of wicked powers. Hitler's spiritual guide was an Aryan Indian wannabe. I bet you simple minded black Americans did not know that! You see Chauncey, in Indian there are these people called Death Eaters who are cannibals. They hang around the Ganges and the funeral pyres. Like zombies, they eat the flesh of the dead! That is why Obama is going. He is trying to get some insight and magical powers to help a dying regime and a dead presidency! The truth is there for those who want to see it! Obama is a just a Waka Flocka halfrican walking around dancing for money like a common minstrel or ghetto hoodlum. That is how the world sees him because it is true! No real Nubian warrior would ever be so humiliated.
WARNNN: You are a keen observer of popular culture. I know that in our pre-interview, you were quite upset by the recent Denzel Washington movie Unstoppable.
Brother X-Squared: That movie is foul and hellish. It approaches Transformer 2 levels of white supremacy and evil. I left Unstoppable feeling so dirtied that I had to wash with Shea butter and reapply my sandalwood ointment.
WARNNN: Please share.
Brother X-Squared. The idea of a train out of control is a slap in the face to the natural black man. The Nubian Warrior is the only real train in America! Possessed of such power we drove this country's economy as slaves and now we possess the potential energy that will blow this place off of its foundations! As I said in an earlier interview, Brother X-Squared is the only unstoppable locomotive crushing white people's proverbial cars on the railroad tracks.
What does the white man do with his tricknology? He makes a movie where Denzel Washington, who played Malcolm X, is a slave to some young white boy. The black man drives the train for a racist white engineer--how prophetic, as the white man is a natural engineer of death and destruction--in that Chris Pine who played Captain Kirk, the legendary race mixer in that hellish Star Trek movie. Then Denzel's character risks his life to save a city full of white people! How absurd! Consider the symbolism, Malcolm X dying for white people! How sick.
You saw the movie did you not? Did you like it?
WARNNN: I am afraid to answer. I would admit that it was a fun diversion and...
Brother X-Squared: Shut up. Of course you would like Unstoppable. I do most certainly need to come around more often to right your thinking. The movie has subliminal wickedness as well. The train's number is 777. What should be a lucky number in the Arabic system is made an evil number by white tricknology! The numbers are even colored red, red as in blood and death! That sick Unstoppable near pornographic movie even assaults our beautiful Nubian women. The two queens in the movie are neo-sex slaves who work at Hooters! Showing off their intimate parts while serving fried chicken to obese, greasy, white men as though they were common harlots in massa's bedchamber.
The movie even has a sick, sick image, one so deep that you and those other common negroes must have missed it. Denzel is risking life and limb to save a town full of white people when he should have let that train blow up and kill them all. Such a noble black slave, a magical negro who serves white people in the ways they imagined good slaves to. Who shows up just in time to save the day? A white racist hillbilly driving a red F-150 pickup truck! This is the vehicle white racists drive. They use it to drag black people by ropes until they die! Sick. White supremacy works in such subtle and obvious ways. It truly is the greatest invention of all time.
WARNNN: I have to admit that you ruined a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. Your wisdom is overwhelming at times. Along with your enthusiastic thumbs down for Unstoppable, you also had a movie recommendation to share?
Brother X-Squared: Yes. I loved the comedy Winter's Bone:
WARNNN: I saw that movie. Yes, it is a great film, but it is more of a tragic, noir flavored drama, almost Coen brothersesque in its sensibilities.
Brother X-Squared. Not to me. That movie about those white trash Appalachia hill people was so wondrous. White cave dwellers, the natural state of "the Caucasian" on full display as they kill each other, eat squirrels, and live in utter poverty was a great thing to see. Like that devil klansman Woodrow Wilson said, this movie was like "writing history with lightening." I just purchased Winter's Bone on DVD and will be screening it everyday for my family and children. Oh yes! The white man's natural ways revealed for us all.
WARNNN: As always I am shocked and amazed. Will you please bless us again in the much more near future with your wisdom Brother X-Squared? It really has been too long.
Brother X-Squared: I am the Alpha and the Omega. I am here and everywhere. I will return soon to provide your intellectually drapetomaniac lost negroes more guidance and knowledge of self.
The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) works hard to bring you, our readers, the stories and information that you care about most. In the three years since our founding, we have had the good fortune to bring you candid interviews with such public figures as Jesse Jackson and Pat Buchanan. One of our greatest coups was an exclusive interview with the nebulous figure "Racism." And of course, Brother X-Squared made his Internet debut on our site. During the last three months, WARNNN has been in secret and delicate negotiations with one of the most important, but little understood, figures in contemporary American politics.
With the rise of what some have labeled The New Right, this individual has risen to prominence and accrued power that few would have imagined possible. After a fitful series of off the record conversations, covert exchanges, and overcoming a real fear of the repercussions of this interview for his personal safety (as well as that of his family), we are proud to present the silent partner in Glenn Beck's success. In an exclusive interview, Glenn Beck's blackboard is finally prepared to pull aside the curtain and reveal all that he knows about his partner's meteoric rise to fame on Fox News.
WARNNN: We are so happy to have you on the show. I know this was hard for you to do and we have talked many times off the record about your feelings regarding Beck and the rise of The New Right. Given that you have been working with Glenn Beck for several years now, please explain to our readers your timing. Why now? Why do an interview with us? What is driving your decision to come clean, for lack of a better word.
Blackboard: I mean this has been really hard for me to do. I know that there will be repercussions for my speaking with you. I have a family that I support. With this economy it is so hard to get reliable work and this gig quite literally came out of nowhere. One day I was sitting in a storage room, praying that someone would find me still useful. With all these computers and PowerPoint and other such "progress" it is hard for a traditionalist like me to get work. The next day I am on Fox News with millions of viewers, tens of millions of people watching me. But you know, I am a patriot. You know what I mean? I really love this country and sometimes it is just so hard to be involved with Glenn Beck and this Tea Party nonsense. The last six months, well even before Obama got elected, he has been unhinged. But as of late it stopped being a game for me. Yeah, I cash the checks I get paid, but he has gotten more and more crazy. Quite frankly it scares me.
WARNNN: Is there any one specific event that has pushed you this far. I know that in our talks over the months you have relayed how you are physically afraid that something could happen to you at Glenn Beck's hands. Is it this fear, or is it something else?
Blackboard: I know that Beck is building up to some great theatrical moment where he goes on a rant and smashes me or one of my brothers with a hammer. I am living on borrowed time. I get that. The breaking point for me was the domestic terrorist who was going to shoot up the ACLU and the Tides Foundation out in California. That story didn't get a great deal of press, but when I heard about it, I felt sick. How many times did Beck use me to talk about that group? Ten, twenty, thirty, maybe more? There have been lots of shootings linked to Glenn Beck and his rants. At first, I just brushed it off. You know how denial works, you come up with all sorts of other explanations...maybe these are just crazy people? Or they would have shot up the police or a museum anyway, so my hands are clean.
But after a point it is just obvious that Beck and his Right-wing people are trying to create chaos. I don't want blood on my conscience. I really really don't. And trust me, I have been in the production meetings, I hear what Glenn and his people are planning. They are going to get more and more extreme. One day, and you have my word on this, something very bad is going to happen. Beck will get on television and deny that he had anything to do with it, or that "progressives" were behind it. You can take that to the bank.
WARNNN: In one of our talks a few weeks ago you mentioned the race baiting and the black people are racist against whites narrative that Beck has been pushing as of late. Can you share your feelings on that?
Blackboard: That hurt me too. Come on now, as a person of color, as a black board in particular, I was disgusted by the whole thing. It gets tired, how he keeps talking about the New Black Panthers and Obama hating white people, and drawing these twisted diagrams where every black person is somehow connected to Farrakhan, or communists, or some nonsense. But I am there to do a job. I am not there to voice my opinions. But beyond the racism, I was more upset by how he could bring prominent black professors and other learned people on the show. Man that got me. I have paid my dues in this business. To see smart people who should know better encouraging Glenn's ad hoc conspiracy theories sickens me. But who am I to judge? I wanted to get paid so I did what I had to do. Those professors and others must be thinking the same thing--go on Beck and you get on The New York Timesbest seller list. Money talks.
WARNNN: As a detour, and because I think your history is so fascinating, can you share a bit of your lineage with our readers? Did your family's legacy have anything to do with your finally deciding to go public?
Blackboard. My family got to America in the early 1800s. It was a really exciting time where we were the newest things on the block. We were very prosperous and successful. I have relatives who worked at all of the major universities in the country. Great minds. Sharp people writing on us everyday, us working to communicate with and teach young minds. I think for me that was what is driving me to talk to the public about Glenn Beck. I know real intelligence and sharpness when I see it because I have worked with some of the best. Beck is a fraud and I just kept thinking to myself that I am better than this. I really got to thinking about my family. Did you know that my grandfather worked with Albert Einstein?
I kept thinking how would he have felt about what I am doing now. Enabling Glenn Beck and his violent, conspiracies. I don't think my grandfather would be proud. No, I know for a fact that he wouldn't be happy with me. Money matters, but personal integrity counts even more.
WARNNN: You used an interesting phrase. Blackboard, you said that you "enable" Glenn Beck. Can you clarify that a bit for our readers?
Blackboard: Think about it. Could Glenn Beck do his professorial shtick if it weren't for me? Come on! Imagine him doing his performance with a whiteboard or PowerPoint. It wouldn't work at all. Beck would just be a crazy man who could just as easily be on the streets of New York or Chicago walking around with a placard screaming "the end is near!" Me and my people, the blackboards Beck uses, we give him his credibility. Take us away and Glenn Beck has absolutely nothing. Nothing at all!
WARNNN: Playing devil's advocate for a moment. Some would say you are jealous, a "hater" of sorts. That you are the silent partner and are resentful that Glenn Beck gets all of the attention. Is this true?
Blackboard: I opened this interview by explaining how much I love America. I went from being semi-employed to having one of the best gigs on television. I am the only blackboard in the country doing what I do on a nightly basis. I have fame. I have more money than I could ever ask for. No, this is about my conscience. Folks need to speak out against The New Right and Glenn Beck. These are trying times. America is in real trouble. I do this in the interest of justice.
WARNNN: Fair and honest. Please share with our readers what you told me about the behind the scenes activities on the show. What have you seen?
Blackboard: There will be volumes written on the scene that is Beck's show. He has cultivated this wholesome, Christian image for himself. Whatever, being vague for legal reasons, that show is a cult of personality and his guests and crew are enjoying it for all its worth. When those lights go off the party is just beginning, trust me. What gets me the most, and maybe your readers may not appreciate this, is how pornographic and intimate Beck's performance really is. He brings you into his little twisted world, looks you in the eyes, talks about saving you from the monsters under the bed, and then builds to a near orgasmic crescendo. For me as a blackboard, what is the worst part of it, and I am a married so this is hard for me to talk about, is how Beck uses us two, three, or four at a time. Chalk everywhere, misspelled words, moving around us all. So disgusting. I feel nasty even talking about it. Beck is so uncaring and vile at times that he leaves us there overnight, unwashed, covered in his handwriting. I can't begin to tell you how soiled that leaves you feeling.
WARNNN: What would you like our readers to do? What should they know?
Blackboard: I think you should stop watching him. Beck only gets his power because of the attention he receives. And don't for a moment take him lightly. Beck really believes everything that he is saying. Over the last year or so, Beck has become messianic. All that stuff about Dr. King is sincere. Beck believes he is here to continue Brother King's legacy. Those talks about revolution and such. Beck really thinks he is going to be martyred. I am relatively voiceless. I can speak with great care and through venues such as WARNNN, but really all I can do is non-violently resist. I can try to deflect Beck, smudge his words, makes things a bit confusing for the viewer but that is all. You have to stop Beck and The New Right. This is the responsibility of decent, reasonable Americans everywhere. As I said, I may not have long for this world--especially once Fox News and Glenn hear about this interview. But, I did what I had to do. I can go off to my destiny with a clear conscience.
WARNNN: We really appreciate your courage. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Please be safe.
In keeping with our interviews with such notables as Jesse Jackson, Pat Buchanan, and the irrepressible Brother X-Squared, the We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) is proud to bring you the newest installment in our hard hitting special investigative series.
The movie A Christmas Story has become a new classic. Based upon a collection of short stories by Jean Shephard, what was once a niche movie has become a staple of the holiday season. A Christmas Story is genius in its simplicity: a young boy who only wants a Red Ryder BB gun, the machinations necessary to make this dream come true, and the adventures of an "all American" family as a date with Santa Claus approaches. It is of no small coincidence that A Christmas Story saw a rise in popularity during the Culture Wars of the 1980s--a moment of increasingly toxic and fractured politics. In many ways A Christmas Story is a salve for those heated debates about what America is--and what America is to become in the future. No doubt encouraged by this appeal to a simpler age of Norman Rockwellesque 1940s America (the film itself is set in nondescript Hammond, Indiana)--as well as 24 hour marathons on TNT and TBS--A Christmas Story has generated a huge following that has given birth to conventions, tours of the home featured in the film, and a cottage industry based upon A Christmas Storyrelated memorabilia.
Every holiday season A Christmas Story brings so much joy to so many. What became of its actors? We know that some have been able to parlay their childhood success into some amount of fame as adults. We must ask: What happened to A Christmas Story's African-American actors and actresses? Seemingly lost to history, WARNNN has conducted an expansive search to bring the struggles of these actors to light. While these brave actors and actresses of color are forever linked to what is now an indispensable fixture in American popular culture, as is so often the case they have been denied the success, fame, and wealth earned by their white peers.
WARNNN brings you their story.
Almost invisible, the black characters in A Christmas Story are conspicuous by their absence as central characters. Present on the margins, muted both literally and figuratively, the African-American characters carry a heavy weight on their shoulders as embodiments of the role played by people of color in the American imagination: black Americans are rendered forever present through the fact of their exclusion from the master narrative.
A Christmas Story is set in pre-World War 2, 1940s Indiana, a time when legal segregation and white supremacy were still very much the rule of the land. Thus, A Christmas Story's exclusion of people of color in its vision of American suburban life is to be expected. Not to be denied, several black Americans responded to the casting call for A Christmas Story. They were determined that the presence of black Americans in this nostalgic vision of America's past be acknowledged. These pioneers would not be white washed out of history! However, what these actors would find would be no small amount of struggle...and experiences that would forever impact their lives in the decades to follow.
WARNNN had an extremely difficult time locating the black actors of A Christmas Story. They have seemingly been erased from any record of the film's production and distribution. It was only through a series of interviews with the film's cast, and a poignant confessional by Director Bob Clark (during which he expressed great sorrow at the treatment of African Americans in the film) that WARNNN was able to rediscover these heretofore lost tales of personal tragedy and triumph. There were four black actors in A Christmas Story. What follows is the first of 3 installments on their post A Christmas Story lives.
Percy Jones was the first actor that we were able to locate. Sadly, our ability to find Mr. Jones was made easier by his new identity--inmate number 203157 in Attica State Correctional Facility. While A Christmas Story is Americana come to life, Percy's life story is that of urban America gone wrong. Like so many young men of color caught up in the system, Mr. Jones (the oldest black actor in A Christmas Story) could not escape the sad mix of Hollywood fame, drugs, and the trauma he suffered while filming A Christmas Story.
We scheduled a meeting with Percy during a lazy after Sunday afternoon in November of 2009. Mr. Jones awaited us in the visitor's center. Since his arrest in 1989, he has been a model prisoner. Because of his exemplary status, the guards afforded him some degree of privacy as we were seated in a semi-private area in the corner of the main visitor's room. A tall man, now in his 50s, Percy has a hard earned dignity to his features. Sharply intelligent, yet understated and modest, Percy greets us warmly and with an exhalation of relief, "You came to talk about A Christmas Story? Do I have a story to tell you..."
We began by asking a simple question: How did you end up in Attica?
Percy looked down, "It was a random series of events that were simultaneously unavoidable. A Christmas Story gave me so much, but it also took much more than it gave. I simply couldn't avoid its clutches." He began to spin a story that was at one time utterly predictable, yet imminently fascinating. Percy continued, "I was a hustler, always was. I grew up in Cleveland in the late 1960s, I came of age in the 1970s after the riots. I was running with different gangs, you know all the Black Power groups that fell out with each other and lost the politics and picked up the guns. I got arrested a few times and had an epiphany. I had to get off the streets. I hooked up with my first high school girlfriend and started taking acting classes at the local community college."
At this point, Percy looked nervous and a bit saddened. He looked down to the shoulder of his orange jumpsuit and wiped a tear away from his eye. Percy continued, "the directors of the film were scouting local schools and colleges. They found me. It was immediate. They said they were making this Christmas movie and that I was perfect for a pivotal role. I immediately said yes. I didn't have a SAG card so I had to get one...the film subsidized it. I also got an advance. 1,000 dollars for my appearance. Man, I was so happy. I took my girl out, lord it was nice, we conceived Nichelle that night...she is my daughter. I got my mom a new tv. I brought my lady a necklace and I got a record player cassette player combo for my car. We were living large."
I asked the obvious question, one that often hints at the trouble awaiting Hollywood's newest stars, "did you sign a contract? What about residuals? What about back end money?" Percy looked up at me with heavy eyes, "come on brother, of course not! I didn't know about any of that stuff. So, I got to the set. It was supposed to be 3 days of filming. I thought this was my chance to break out, you know? To bring some dignity to the role I was playing. The wardrobe people walked up to me and sat me down for a fitting. Something wasn't right. I looked at the costumes and they had a black mask, and a striped shirt and some tight pants. I was like come on now, who the hell dresses like this!"
As viewers of A Christmas Story know, Percy is one of the members of the Black Bart gang that attacks Ralphie's home during the pivotal Red Rider BB gun fantasy. This is a key scene in the film that helps to set the stage for the near fetishistic power that Ralphie's Red Ryder BB gun holds over him that holiday season.
"I accepted the role as criminal as par for the course. You see I had a plan, I wasn't some lame who would get played. I was gonna make the role something special. I was gonna be James Cagney in Scarface. The world is mine! The director approached me and said that he wanted me to method act, to go to that dark place I lived in when I was on the streets. To really impute the role is what he called it. That was the beginning, that energy was always there, but I had suppressed it."
This is the moment where Percy's troubles began and A Christmas Story would exact a heavy toll on his well-being and life. Like a junkie remembering his first hit and retelling how he would relapse over and over again...from sobriety to and fro addiction...Percy's relationship with A Christmas Story was that of an unhealthy relationship, toxic, painful, and with an unavoidable ending.
"You see, the role didn't involve any speaking. Nothing at all. I was supposed to jump over this fence and get shot. Man it hurt so bad. They were slave drivers on the set. 3 days became 10 days became 15 days, on and on and on. I didn't know that the contract said they could do this. Of course, they threw me a little more money. But, I was internalizing the pain, you know what I mean? That little white kid kept shooting me with that BB gun. I kept dying over and over again. To add to the humiliation I was the first member of the gang shot. How humiliating. It hurt my soul."
I leaned forward and comforted Percy. His pain was so evident. I was curious, how did his costars feel about this treatment? Did he suffer alone? I carefully extended my hand to his shoulder and asked. "Chauncey, me and the other members of the gang...that is what we were called...were kept separated from the child actors on set. The directors wanted to create a sense of tension and menace about us. We were almost like real criminals. So, we would drink, use drugs...you had to use painkillers to keep doing those damned stunts, and would sleep with the prostitutes and groupies on the set."
Inevitably, the movie shoot would end and Percy Jones returned to the "real world." He would go from job to job. Percy even cut a rap album, "Rapping withA Christmas Story." Sadly, it never sold more than 1,000 units. He was unable to get consistent work in Hollywood on his own. Percy secured an agent but the relationship was not fruitful. Mr. Jones had long spent the 1,000 dollars he earned from his role in A Christmas Story. Nevertheless, A Christmas Story still beckoned to him.
"I would watch the movie every year as it became more and more popular. Each year, I would become more and more enraged. So full of anger. I hoped a check would come, something. Never. I did a little research. Did you know that I was never even in the Screen Actor's Guild? Nope. Those crooks gave me a fake id card so they could exploit me! All that I had was the costume from the movie. I tried to sell it at a pawn shop, but got no takers. This was before Ebay and the Internets. It started to beckon to me, almost talking to me at night. I would lay there in bed next to the wife and that costume would call me. Quite literally it would whisper to me, telling me to man up and get mine."
I knew the ending of the story, but had to ask the inevitable question.
"Brother Chauncey, I did it! They wanted me to be a thug, a criminal again. And I couldn't resist. I put on that damn outfit and mask and got me a gun. Sure as hell did. I went on a rampage. I robbed everybody I could find. I became like a real life version of Omar on the show The Wire. Hell, in Cleveland I was The Ghost of Christmas Past. I was the king and I was putting some coal in your damn stocking!"
In a sad end, Percy Jones explained how he was arrested on Christmas Day, some six months after his crime spree began. High on crack, exhausted, and sleeping on a dirty mattress in a cheap motel, Percy (still in costume) was taken down by the Cleveland police department's SWAT team. Percy Jones, the Black Bart stickup man, became an urban legend. I heard the rumors, the poetic irony of his story had long been on the tongues of folks in Cleveland, so I had to know if the details were true.
"Yup, the rumors were true. I never had a real gun. I used a Red Ryder BB gun--I sawed off the barrel--and robbed folks. They were so scared...my victims had no idea I was playing them. I got 50 years, can you imagine that? I would have actually been better off if I had been using a real burner, at least I could have fought off the cops."
Our time together had come to an end. The prison guard politely motioned towards us that we should end the interview. Percy leaned in, happy to have made a new friend. Yet, his countenance was heavy with thought and reflection..."Tell the people that I am not the only one. Go out and find the other brothers and sisters from A Christmas Story. Trust, I had it comparatively easy. Find the others, what they have gone through will blow your mind! We were struggling, trying to do the right thing for all of the black folk out there. But that damn movie just got us caught in its clutches! Maybe, just maybe, justice will be done if the truth is known."
In our next installment we bring you the story of Little Red Ryder, once an innocent young school child, now a fallen woman...
In keeping with our tradition of the We Are Respectable Negroes News Network's (WARNNN) bringing you exclusive news exposes such as our interview with Pat Buchanan, we bring you the third installment in our ongoing series of interviews with Brother X-Squared, president of the North American Chapter of the Renewed Black Panther Party. In this newest interview we explore Brother X-Squared's feelings on a range of topics including Barack Obama's Nobel Prize win, the health care debate, the economy, and current developments in popular culture.
WARNNN: How are you doing today Brother X-Squared.
Brother X-Squared: I am a steady ship, right as rain, and a rock in a time of turbulence and trouble.
WARNNN: So you are happy today Brother X-Squared?
Brother X-Squared: I am as happy as a Portuguese slaver off of the Guinea coast in the 1700s with a full load of human black gold.
WARNNN: You have a way with words that we certainly appreciate Brother X-Squared...we are truly blessed that you are a regular on our news network. Let's cut to the chase. The world was mesmerized and amazed that President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Prize on Friday of last week. What is your reaction to his win? Are you proud of his accomplishment? Will Obama's win help or hurt him with his opposition in the Republican party and among the Right-wing tea baggers?
Brother X-Squared: You have a dirty mouth brother Chauncey. I warned you last time about referencing that filthy degenerate sex act...that tea-bagging...what those white sex freaks, new age, klansmen use to describe themselves.
WARNNN: So sorry.
Brother X-Squared: Apology excepted. Remember, forgiveness is a virtue that the most High reserved for the most righteous black man. So, I am laughing like a black hyena at Barack Obama and his winning that wicked, evil, Nobel prize! That halfrican is the white man's dog again. The white man made him and now he will break him! You see, the white man's tricknology is so deep. As I have warned you many times before, the white man is a devious trickster who hides his wickedness in plain sight.
Why did they give Obama that prize? They gave it for their expectations for the future! Don't you see! They own him. He is betrothed to the white man! Those devils now control his destiny. That Nobel Prize is a slave collar, a bit in Obama's mouth, a whip for the white power structure to control him and to assess him. That poor mud baby Barack Obama is getting it on both ends from those racist liberals who control him by saying they are disappointed in him and then by holding his light tan butt to the proverbial fire. He gets it from the other end--again, another unnatural sex act spread across the world by the evil European--by those bigoted Republicans who say he is a socialist or some other nonsense.
Wake up sleeping captive Africans in America, the truth is right in front of you. Obama is weak, he is a pawn, and a slave for the White man. Do you know who Nobel was, the namesake for which the prize is named?
WARNNN: I know that he was a rich industrialist, who felt great guilt over earning his money through the manufacture of weapons of war. Beyond that, I know very little. Please enlighten me Brother X-Squared.
Brother X-Squared: You are a master of language brother Chauncey. I am indeed a source of light for you captive negro troglodytes living in the cave of white supremacy. Alfred Nobel was a bigoted white man--like all of them a devil, except for Jon Brown, Harry Connick Jr., and Tom Jones--who invented dynamite! Do you understand this evil. That wicked white man, just like the foul scientist Yakub who invented that mutant species of white cave dwellers--what we now call the caucasian--eons ago brought foulness into the universe. Do you know what else is funny?
WARNNN: What? Please share?
Brother X-Squared: Those white devils hate Obama and are saying that the Nobel Prize symbolizes that he is the anti-Christ. What a laugh. This is classic misdirection. The white man is the only Devil, yet he paints Obama, their boy, as the real Devil. So devious they are. Plus, to make it seem real, they use slave catchers like that GOP coon Michael Steele to attack Obama. Again a joke. Notice the name! Steele is equal to steel. But that slave catcher is weak: this reversal of meaning is a subliminal assault on your mindstate. The white man tricks you into making the strong now seem weak. Steel also sounds like "steal." Stealing is what the white man and his agents do by nature. Open your eyes Black man. We need to "steel" ourselves against Steele and other slave catcher's assaults on us.
WARNNN: How is dynamite evil? Please explain to our readers?
Brother X-Squared: Come now brother Chauncey, don't ever underestimate my mental mindstates because assumptions lead to your ultimate destruction. Nevertheless, I will take your bait. Dynamite allowed the white man to destroy the third world. He used those explosives to destroy our people. Dynamite is an implement of rape! Yes, rape and rapine behavior! Dynamite let the white devils rape mother Earth and take out the gold from Africa. Dynamite let the white man get riches that he used to buy our people and rape our women. Now, the heirs of that white supremacist wickedness, in fact every white person on Earth, are giving out awards for peace! Give me a break. I am not that stupid. The prize is illegitimate. The prize is covered in blood. Now, those war mongers are going to give that prize to poor Obama. He is guilty by association. And Obama is also a hypocrite for accepting the Nobel Prize. Moreover, why would a truly sanctified Black man ever take an award for peace from the white man? The white man has waged war on the world. True Black men are men of war, courage, and resistance. We will never--unlike many of these brainwashed negroes in America--take the white man's hand in friendship.
WARNNN: Damn, that was sharp Brother X-Squared, very incisive. But, how is Obama a hypocrite? Are you alluding to his war in Afghanistan and Iraq?
Brother X-Squared: Now you are getting me Chauncey. He is sending soldiers all over the world to fight for America's wickedness. The Trilateral Commission, the IMF, all those wicked white people are using him, and he smiles. Obama is an attorney. He is socialized into the white man's laws and evil: he knows what is going on as he lays up in that foul White House. How deep is that? A supposedly black man living in the White House, a building constructed by captive black labor, as he does the white man's bidding. That is so sick as to be inexplicable. Ain't no Iraqi or Afghan ever called me nigger, so I don't have a quarrel with them. Ultimately, Obama is sending young black and brown people to kill other black and brown people to do the white man's bidding. Sad, sick, disgusting, and more proof of Obama's weakness.
WARNNN: I referenced the Tea Party movement a few moments ago. What are your thoughts about the anti-health care movement, and their hatred of Barack Obama?
Brother X-Squared: Does a lion care about the age of the antelopes that he kills on the Serengeti after he has mated with dozens of lionesses during a hot summer's day?
WARNNN: I would imagine that he does not.
Brother X-Squared: That brave Nubian lion doesn't give a damn and doesn't care: that is exactly how I feel about that issue. Those tea party, Glenn Beck bigots and Oxycontin Rush Limbaugh hill billy supporters are the 21st century version of the John Birch society. Their grandparents were lynching black people. They are human debris. The joke is that they call Obama a "Black man" and complain about that "Black man" indoctrinating their kids in school. They would not know what to do if an original African Black man like me were president. Those devils would quite literally die! Obama has a millionth of my negritude. Actually, let me correct myself, Obama has none of my negritude because his mulatto genes, his white momma, cancels out his blackness. A joke, they go into histrionics over Obama trying to give those fools a few extra visits to the doctor.
WARNNN: Let me push back. Given the state of health care in this country poor folk, poor black and brown folk especially, would benefit the most from health care reform. How can you not support it?
Brother X-Squared: Every politician and media person in the health care debate is in bed with those rich corporations. Corporations don't see people. They see money: its color is green. Thus, so much of this debate is a smoke screen. Darwin, a smart White man--although still a devil--was right. It was survival of the fittest. I eat only fresh food...nothing cooked. I use black soap and Shea butter. I only drink seltzer water. I eat ginger root and ginseng. I have never been sick. Those fool negroes who are getting sick from the white man's food...especially his pig, deserve what they get--death. And those old white people at those town hall meetings who are on the government tit and getting welfare--what White folk conveniently don't call Medicare, Social Security, and Medicaid--should die. They were standing in the school house door cursing beautiful Black children during the 1950s and 1960s. Those other Klansmen in suits at those tea bagger marches can just die too. As an Afro-Asiatic Black man I am protected from skin cancer and the other diseases the white man has brought to the Earth. Let them die. All of them. The Black man will (re)inherit the Earth once more.
WARNNN: What are your thoughts on the economy? Will we turn a corner? We have spent 800 billion dollars and nothing has seemingly changed?
Brother X-Squared: The chickens are coming home to roost! Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yes! The white man built a house of cards on the exploitation of Black people. Slavery gave the white man a comparative economic advantage that he exploited to build an empire of evil. Now, that dirty money economy, an economy built on an illusion, a set of fetishes, exchange value, and lies, is coming to a head. So glorious. Consider brother Chauncey, the dollar is going to be replaced as the reserve currency for oil transactions. This is powerful. The white media isn't reporting this story enough. America is done! Dead! Gone! Those fool white people simply are too dumb and inbred and lazy to understand that is the nail in the coffin of American empire. The brown people of the world have said, "no more!" What whitey calls the 3rd and 2nd world is rising up. This is so deep. Our Afrocentric principles have triumphed. Gold was the basis of the African kingdoms of great such Kusch and Benin. Gold is tangible a real thing. Now, yes, finally, we are going to stand tall again. The white man will have to get on his knees and go back to Africa to beg for our resources. As Black Jesus said, "the meek shall inherit the Earth."
WARNNN: Let's change gears for a moment. What are your thoughts on Rush Limbaugh's efforts to buy the NFL team, the Rams?
Brother X-Squared: I applaud it. He is a bigot. He is a man, that fat, bloviating sack of human feces, who likely has a dead body hidden on his property, upon which he does drugs and molests children, that hates Black people. Professional sports is run by racists who pay a bunch of man-children black athletes millions of dollars to run around like baby monkeys. Most of those coaches in the NFL are Republican bigots anyway. Limbaugh can wear his white robes to the games to remind those humanzees--those human monkeys who lay with white women whenever they can--that they are nothing more than million dollar slaves. Who knows? Maybe those coons wearing the white man's nigger cotton--what you all call jerseys and uniforms--will stand up and say "No!" Unlikely, they will probably play along just like that ESPN commentator Stephen Smith said they would. Speaking of sports, did you see Mike Tyson on Oprah?
WARNNN: I did not. I am still waiting to see the new Tyson documentary. Zora, has it on Netflix, but hasn't received it yet.
Brother X-Squared: Brother Chauncey, I have been working with you now for months and you still are not saved. Again, you go to the white man when you could go to the Black African on the corner and get your DVD. So sad. The interview was pathetic. Tyson, that once great warrior God was reduced to tears by that mammy. Oprah is indeed the White man's whore in Babylon. She made that great man, just like an elephant in India stuck in a sinkhole, a pathetic beast. She killed him with a death of a thousand cuts. The white man brought down Tyson, and Oprah...who could have rehabilitated his public image...finally destroyed him. It was thoroughly disheartening. It was not surprising however, as it was one more example of how the white man wages perpetual mental warfare on the Black man's mindstate.
WARNNN: As per our tradition, please tell our readers something they don't know?
Brother X-Squared: That is an easy task given how weak the typical "respectable" negro is...still in the chains of White mental slavery! Black Barbie.
WARNNN: Excuse me? The new doll?
Brother X-Squared: Yes. Have you seen that little slut? A light complected, race mixed "toy" that is dressed like a "hip hop" artist. Sick. The white man's subliminal assault on us continues. Toys are the first agents of political socialization. That foul representation of black womanhood is teaching our young beautiful black queens that light is right. It is teaching young girls to be sluts. Her hair is piss colored! It is blond! What black women are born with blond hair? None of them...unless their momma or daddy laid with a dirty European. Our children in Obama's America are being taught that they are less than, that they are inferior little slaves. Factually, Chauncey did you know that little white girls were often given little black slave children as human dolls during slavery? Living dolls?
WARNNN: Yes, I am aware of that despicable history.
Brother X-Squared: Now, corporate America gives our little girls representations of that evil. Tricknology is omnipresent again. "black" Barbie comes with a key! A key of all things! Do you negroes know what a key does? It opens locked doors. It makes visible the hidden. It opens you to something new. That foul Barbie's key represents the white man's key to the Black man's mental mindstate! Yes, oh yes! That piss colored, Barbie slut doll is a symbol of how the black man has been socialized to hate black women and to see white women as his validation.
WARNNN: Always a pleasure Brother X-Squared. Always. We look forward to talking again.
Brother X-Squared: I am always on the j-o-b. Yes, I will be ready. It was a pleasure.
