Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday Afternoon Funny: Let Us Pray With Pastor Manning Against the "Anti-Christ and Son of Satan" Barack Obama

You can pray for anything. I used to pray to God that I would get a remote control airplane from the Sears Wishbook. I worked really hard at it: "Oh Lord, God in heaven, will you please grant me the remote control airplane--or helicopter if one of the coolest airplanes in the Sears Wishbook is out of stock as that too would be acceptable--as I would be closer to you as I fly in the heavens and my parents would be made proud by my gifts of aeronautical skill."

Guess what? I didn't get the plane at Christmas. But you know what, God of things small and large has granted me health, laughs at me when I deserve it, saved my life on more than one occasion, loves me, got me Nintendo for Christmas (with Excitebike) when I was 11 and my dad was almost laid off from work, put my wisdom on the History Channel, and has allowed me to have sex with more than one Sikh woman--and yes, it was all you envious souls imagined it to be. Ultimately, God has been pretty damn cool to this simple respectable negro.

Trust, how many black men can say they went to pleasure town with a Sikh sister? 2 or 3--and one of them is me.

Crom, JC, the Most High, Yahweh, The Force, The Blessed Exchequer of The Great Material Continuum, Buddha, Allah, the grand life force, and the free hand of the market will hear this stupidity and laugh.

But be careful Pastor Manning as you just might get what you wish for...and who knows, maybe prayer is a two way street where respectable negroes everywhere are wishing you ironic, sad, and tragic misfortunes? Hell, if my prayer is heard you will find yourself awake tomorrow with a hot curling iron in your tuckus!

But God is likely not that cruel. Or is he?


The Good Reverend Doctor said...

I usually look forward to the Pastor Manning posts for a good laugh. However, this time I was amazed at how dark his subliminal suggestion was. How else do you stop someone who you can't debate against? How else do you stop someone you can't organize against? How else do you stop someone who corrupts all your allies? How else do you stop the anti-Christ? There is only one answer and I'm sure you know what the Pastor was implying.

I was waiting for him to suggest shooting the werewolf with a silver bullet or putting a stake through the vampire's heart.

Your implications deem you the demon, "Pastor".

Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...

Isn't that the scary part of all these antics? The way he and others wish harm on Obama.



American Black Chick in Europe said... I still don't understand why Pastor Manning has so much animosity towards Obama. And it's quite scary what Pastor Manning is not so subtly implying. I pray no one takes this man seriously.

And a random side note, I'm guessing the next presidential election will be hella dirty.

kid video said...

Chauncey... I knew it was a reason why I enjoy your post.

Who else discusses making out wit hot sikh chicks(and other women of color/various nationalities) AND pastor manning's uncle ruckus-like psycho rants...

I want to be like you when i get my money right...

You make this respectable negro proud.

chaunceydevega said...


thanks. but trust me, you don't want to be like me...those student loans are a killer. so how about i be like you when you get YOUR money right!