Monday, November 7, 2011

A Birth of a Herman Cain Nation Moment: Cornbread Can't Help His Love of the White Ladies

A black Republican is accused of sexually assaulting a white woman. Sound familiar?

With his race baiting antics for the gleeful delight of white populist conservatives, Herman Cain is indeed writing history with lightning.

Yes, Birth of a Nation is such an obvious allusion that it demands to be done, even if it is in many ways quite vulgar. In all, sometimes we just have to put in work, and state an obvious and ugly truth.

To point: I do not know if the continued support of Herman Cain by the Tea Party GOP brigands, despite his being accused of sexually assaulting a white woman, is a sign of progress.

On one hand, not too long ago, a white woman's screams and false cries of rape were enough to justify a one way trip to the lynching tree. Herman Cain is still with us, and his campaign moves forward, despite--and perhaps even emboldened--by these accusations.

This is quite a puzzle. Herman Cain appeals to a part of the American electorate that is racially resentful, possesses no small amount of anti-black affect, likes black folks who know how to shut up and know their place, and who parrot the fantasies that the White Soul possesses of African American humanity.

Herman Cain fulfills the worst stereotypes and fears of black male predatory sexuality: he is the myth of the black male rapist GOP candidate made quite literally real. Yet, they still have his back.

Again, quite a riddle and mystery is afoot. What do you all think will happen with Herb Cornbread Cain? Is the continued support of his Tea Party GOP base a sign of racial progress?

Or do white conservatives have special rules for "their blacks," folks who are every now and then allowed the sweet pleasures of a white woman's alabaster thighs and tasty honey mead yoni wine?

Could the pass they have issued to Herman Cain actually be an ironic triumph of the hard bigotry of low expectations? Where Herman Cain can't help but to have "slipped up" because what black could possibly resist any white woman? Anywhere? At any time?

Random Notes: Chuck Berry's Sex Tape and Herman Cain's 4th Accuser to Go Public Today

I love it when a plan comes together. I predicted that there would be at least five women accusing Herman Cain of sexual harassment. As of today, we have a fourth, who (with Gloria Allred in tow) will be detailing good old Cornbread's naughty habits. I offered a prayer last week. I asked God if he/she/it could arrange that Herman Cain would be outed as a flasher who liked to expose "yee old godfather" to his female employees. Those answers will be forthcoming imminently.

My mind is a twisted labyrinth. For whatever reason, our speculations about Herman Cain's sexual proclivities made me think about Chuck Berry.

[Who knows? Perhaps, there is in fact a collective unconscious that links all people together, where in a Jungian mode, we all share a common set of signs, symbols, and cultural references.]

Whatever Herbie is accused of doing, he can be comforted by the fact it will in no way compare to the level of debauched fun that Chuck Berry indulged in while on the road.


IN THE EARLY 1990S, a friend sent me a short videotaped scene in which a man alleged to be Chuck Berry is shown pissing on a white woman and farting in her face. [See below for a complete transcript.] It was explained to me that Chuck Berry had been hassled so many times by authorities for sexin’ up young white girls while on the road, he took to videotaping all of his one-night stands as legal proof of consent on the girls’ part.

This explanation gained further credence when High Society magazine published eight photos of Berry posing naked with various women, presumably groupies. It was given further credibility in the early 1990s, when a former female chef Berry had employed at his Southern-Air Restaurant in Missouri filed a lawsuit claiming that Berry was covertly videotaping gals in the women’s bathroom using cameras placed at angles that gave aerial and eye-level views of the toilet. [The suit was apparently settled out of court.] And a few years back, Spy magazine ran a feature which described not only the piss-and-fart scene which I viewed, but also other videotapes containing alleged poop-eatin’ by Chuck and his various lady friends.

A year or two after I received the initial videotape, another friend sent me a Berry-themed tape called Sweet Little Sexteen. Lasting over an hour and a half, it contains the initial piss-and-fart clip, plus TV news blurbs about Berry’s restaurant lawsuit, and an interminable parade of hairy, inflamed, slimy, beef-jerky white-girl twats in disgusting clinical closeup, many of them pissing while squatting over motel-room toilet bowls. The tape tends to imply that these segments were all filmed by Berry during one-night-stands. During one sad-yet-funny scene, the feather-headed white girl tries sucking off a skinny old black male wearing only a white T-shirt [presumed to be Berry] for what seems like a half-hour, but he’s apparently too old or coked-out to get it up. He tries shoving his half-hard choco-worm inside her pussy, but it plops out limply each time. He finally retrieves a giant black dildo and rams it up her twat like he’s shoving a thermometer between a turkey’s legs. While she painfully squirms on the monster artificial dong, he cackles, grunts, and asks her things such as “How ya like that big dick goin’ up in ya?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I DON’T REALLY CARE whether or not the man in these videotapes is Chuck Berry. Even if it isn’t, the fact that someone would go to the length of making it all up signifies that Chuck Berry is somehow highly relevant to American cultural psychology. So what reasons could he possibly have for pee-peein’ on all those poor dumb white girls?

My favorite Chuck Berry story involves shriveled Limey junkhog Keith Richards, who never played a note Chuck Berry didn’t play first. In the early 80s, Richards apparently went backstage at a Chuck Berry show and tapped him on the back of the shoulder, hoping to introduce himself. Before looking to see who it was, Berry instinctively hauled off and slugged him in the face.

Good for you Chuck. Shoulda pissed on him, too.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *


The following dialogue was transcribed from a segment of videotape lasting a little over two and a half minutes. The action appears to take place in a motel bathroom. It begins with a white woman sitting in a bathtub, lazily scrubbing herself. The woman’s feathered-back blonde hairstyle suggests that the events transpired sometime in the late 1980s. Although the tape is blurry, and although surface “white noise” tends to muddy the sound, it’s credible that the warm brown blob of a man who suddenly steps into the bathtub is rock legend Chuck Berry. He is thin and bony, naked except for a classy gold wristwatch. His hair approximates Chuck’s greased-back black wool. His speaking voice sounds like Chuck Berry’s. But I have no way of proving it’s him, and I’m sure he’d deny it, so I have to throw in all these disclaimers.

CHUCK BERRY [allegedly, of course]: Are you bathing?
You gotta get clean.
Yes, I do.
You like to stay clean, don’t you?
Yes, I do.
You really do.
I’ll give you somethin’ to bathe for. You know that? [stands up over her] I’m-a give you somethin’ to bathe for. See this here? [wiggles his dick]
Yeah? That’s what you bathe with.
It is?
Kiss it...Kiss it...Again...Suck on it...You my girl?
You love me?
Very much?
Mm-hmm? I’ll bet you do.
I do.
Well...You really love me? [begins pissing on her face]
[she gasps, surprised] I really love you.
Yeah? Put your hands down by your thighs. Take it. [she continues gasping as he continues pissing] Take it. Take it. Take it. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. [sound of piss gurgling into her mouth, then Berry unleashes a LOUD, long fart] You can smell my fart. Piss on ya, that’s what I’m doin’. Pissin’ all over you. Mm-hmm. You love me?
Tell me you love me.
I love you.
Alright, then, drink my piss. Drink my piss. [grabs towel and hands it to her] Dry yourself off. Clean yourself off. How’s that piss taste, hmm?
Alright, alright, alright? Tastes bitter, doesn’t it? It’s salty, yeah, I know.
You drank my piss.
Yes, I did.
Yeah. Suck this. SUCK IT. [she’s sucking and gasping and grunting as if in pain] Here, clean yourself. Clean that piss out of your eyes. Poor sugar, little baby. What’s the matter, baby? Did I piss in your eyes?
Did I piss in your eyes? I’m sorry. There’s piss all over your neck and your hair. But you love me.
I love you.
I won’t betray you. I won’t betray you ever. Believe it. [leans in to kiss her, then stops] I can’t kiss you—it smells like piss.
I know.
I’m sorry. Clean yourself off. Take a shower. [he walks out of the tub as she turns on the faucet to clean herself]

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Sunday Fun: Uncle Jack the Good Darky, Herman Cain's Crooning Minstrel Confessional, and AMC's Hell on Wheels

I hope you are enjoying your daylight savings day and the extra hour for onanistic, sensual, culinary, drudgerous, painful, or obligatory deeds it allows. In all, today should be good fun. We have the New England Patriots seeking revenge against the foul and dastardly New York Giants; The Walking Dead, Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, and The Last Days of Osama Bin Laden. And of particular interest to this ghetto nerd history buff, Hell on Wheels will also be premiering tonight on AMC.

I have heard some interesting things about this show, and will most certainly be watching it through a race critical lens.

In my sojourns across these Internets in pursuit of my daily high, I came upon the following essay in the online magazine, Religion Dispatches. There, Professor Butler of the University of Pennsylvania, offers a great take down of old Herb Cornbread Cain, the Tea Party GOP's favorite bucking and ducking, shucking and jiving, new age race minstrel.

Of particular note: she does a great reading of the semiotics at work in Herman Cain's rendition of the spiritual "He Looked Beyond My Faults" at the National Press Club. Professor Butler's suggestion is that Cain basically admitted that he sinned and that his personal god had already forgiven him. Ultimately, and as I suggested here, Cain was able to deploy a script of forgiveness and penance to turn the tables of righteousness against those who would dare attack him.

In her essay, Professor Butler makes reference to a statue in Louisiana named Uncle Jack the Good Darky. As a young negro of a certain age I have never heard of good ol' Uncle Jack. I learned something today as his story is fit for an epic poem--or at the very least a good graphic novel.

I can also imagine a Boondocks episode where Uncle Jack the Good Darkie comes alive and reeks havoc on all who oppose him (or alternatively gets his hustle on and stars in a reality show on Bravo or BET). Uncle Ruckus and Herman Cain would seek the blessings of Uncle Jack, just to have him turn around and slap them across their collective mouths.

[If Aaron McGruder emails me for the actual script treatment, I will kindly put him in touch with my SAG affiliated agent].

The following story is great folks: it has all the requisite dramatic elements of racism, subterfuge, intrigue, and violence.

Once more, history is stranger than fiction.

The Journey of Uncle Jack

An 82-year-old sculpture has divided its life between Natchitoches and Baton Rouge. Now “Uncle Jack” is about to be moved again.

Erected in 1927 in northwest Louisiana, the sculpture was hauled three hundred miles to the Rural Life Museum (RLM) in Baton Rouge in 1972.

The life-size bronze sculpture on a limestone base was commissioned by Jackson Lee Bryan. It depicts an elderly African American man, shoulders slumped, head bowed, tipping his hat.

Bryan, a planter and banker in Natchitoches, envisioned a tribute to African Americans who helped build the South’s agriculture-based economy. He commissioned eminent sculptor Hans Schuler of Baltimore to create the piece, at a cost of $4,300.

Unveiled in May 1927, the statue bore the inscription: “Erected by the city of Natchitoches in grateful recognition of the arduous and faithful services of the good darkies of Louisiana.”

White people regarded the work as a tribute to slavery. The local paper noted that the Rotary Club had adopted a resolution “that express[es] the general Southern sentiment toward the faithful old slaves who took care of their masters’ wives and children and homes while the masters were away fighting to hold them in slavery.”

Even some African Americans approved of it. P. Colfax Rameau of Birmingham wrote to the Natchitoches paper: “Do not think it will be an insult to the modern, Christian negro. He will only say deep in his heart, ‘I wish there were more white men in the South of the cloth of the Honorable J. L. Bryan, and mob violence would soon be history for unborn white and black boys and girls to read.’”

Dubbed “Uncle Jack,” after Bryan, the sculpture became a landmark. Tourists took photographs of it, and tributes appeared in newspapers all over the country.

“Many white people in the parish have been nursed or served by the old-time ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties,’ and a warm regard remains on each side,” wrote the New York Times.

The National Geographic ran a photo of Uncle Jack. Postcards identified him as “The Good Darky,” and a poem by that name noted, “How faithfully he played his part, and with the fervor of his race/ Gave all . . . and then his heart!”

But not everybody was happy to see the first statue in town honor a black man, however humble. It was repeatedly vandalized by “paint pouring,” whitewashing, and even a reputed cross-burning.

Pearl Payne, 91, who was nine when the statue was erected, recalls that local African Americans “didn’t appreciate it. They took if for nothing good. There was controversy. It had a negative effect on our people.”

“I recall ire and dismay in the black community,” says Ed Ward, who grew up in Natchitoches in the fifties. “It brought forth negative feelings because it promoted a subservient and menial view of the race.”

With the sixties came racial unrest. Then-mayor Ray Scott got a telephone threat that the statue would be dynamited. “We were threatened with harm we had never seen before,” recalls Ward, a black businessman and civic leader.

In September 1968, city workers showed up in the dead of night to remove the thirteen-thousand-pound statue. Alerted by an anonymous phone call, Jo Bryan Ducournau, the daughter and heir of Jack Bryan, rushed to the scene to stop the imminent destruction. “She basically threw a fit,” says RLM director David Floyd.

“They were wrapping it in chains,” says Natchitoches historian Bobby DeBlieux. “It was going to be destroyed. [Ducournau] talked the mayor into taking it out of the ground without destroying it.”

Exactly how the statue was removed is shrouded in mystery. The Natchitoches Times ran a photo of the sculpture atop a bulldozer and a close-up of Uncle Jack with ropes draped around his neck, looking like a lynching victim.

The statue was hidden at the local airport, according to one account. Ducournau reportedly received many requests for it, including one from the Smithsonian Institution.

Four years later, Steele Burden learned of the statue’s fate, contacted Ducournau, and asked her to “loan” the statue to the Burden Plantation.

The Burden family owned five hundred acres in the heart of Baton Rouge. In the 1960s, they began giving the property to LSU in increments. Steele Burden had begun collecting relics of Louisiana plantations—plows, wagons, tools, even buildings, which he dismantled and hauled to Baton Rouge. He resurrected them on the Burden property, creating a collection that commemorated life in eighteenth- and nineteenth-century Lousiana. By the early 1970s, it was called the Rural Life Museum.

The sculpture was moved to the RLM in 1972. Set in a landscaped spot selected by Burden, Uncle Jack appeared to greet visitors as they approached the museum by car.

In 1974, the loan became a gift. Burden added a second plaque to the statue’s base: “Donated to the Rural Life Museum by Mrs. Jo Bryan Ducournau.”

As visitors increased, the statue attracted more attention—not all of it positive. In response to a 1989 letter from State Representative Raymond Jetson complaining about the word “darkies” on the original plaque, LSU president Allen Copping wrote: “It was not possible to completely remove the inscription without damaging the plaque and the base of the statue. Instead, the staff . . . constructed a wooden frame to cover the entire inscription. . . . . I am confident that the modifications made to the base of the statue have eliminated the possibility of anyone being offended.”

The second plaque, added in the 1970s, was removed from its position higher up the base of the statue and screwed into the wood now covering up the original plaque.

A prominent visitor offended by Uncle Jack was writer Maya Angelou. In 1997, Angelou wrote: “Uncle Jack is the quintessential obsequious Negro servant. . . . The droop of his shoulders bears witness not only to his years but more specifically to his own understanding of his place as a poor black in a rich white world.”

In 1999 James W. Loewen wrote in the book Lies Across America, “This statue was from the start intended to be useful only to the cause of white supremacy. The [museum] has not used ‘The Good Darky’ to ‘provide insight into the largely forgotten lifestyles and cultures of pre-industrial Louisiana,’ the museum’s avowed purpose. No plaque gives any information about its history or symbolic meaning.”

Although the term “darky” is considered outdated and racist today, many recommended that the original plaque be uncovered and resume its place as part of the piece. “The word ‘darky’ is offensive, but consider the times,” says Kathe Hambrick, founder of the African American Museum in Donaldsonville. “You can’t change history. Every plaque that was ever made for the statue should have a label on it [for interpretive purposes].”

Another African American who supports the statue is Clifton Webb, a Baton Rouge native who first saw it thirty years ago. “I thought it was magnificently executed with a real sensitive feel for who this African American was,” says Webb, a sculptor who studied art at LSU. “It exemplifies [his] nobility. It could have been negative, but the man was beautiful; he had a beautiful face.”

As for the plaque praising “darkies,” Webb says, “I believe that you don’t just go around erasing and wiping out history. We need to understand that’s how things were. It should be there; it’s an opportune moment for education.”

With the RLM building a new visitor’s center, Floyd says the board of directors decided last summer to move the statue inside the complex of buildings to make it part of the tour given by docents.

When word of the planned move got out, many thought it would be removed entirely from the RLM. Floyd got calls and emails urging him to keep the statue. “I made a stand from the beginning that we would not get rid of it,” he says. “It’s a great opportunity to use it as a teaching tool.”

Meanwhile, Natchitoches wants Uncle Jack back as part of a planned museum in the Texas & Pacific railway depot downtown. Ed Ward, who once opposed the sculpture, hopes for its return. “It can be a stumbling block transformed into a stepping stone,” he says.

But not everybody in Natchitoches agrees. Pearl Payne, a retired teacher, is content to have it gone. “I would say no, you’re just bringing back something bitter,” she says. “It’s not good to open a can of worms. It’s better to just leave it away, since it’s been away so long.”

Ruth Laney can be reached at

Friday, November 4, 2011

More Bucking, Shucking, and Jiving: Herman Cain is the Koch Brothers "Brother From Another Mother"

Watch this video and circulate it before the Koch Brothers copyright monster yanks it down.

This clip is going to be the basis for many a commercial in the next few months. In the Age of OWS, a gross and near criminal maldistribution of wealth, and a mass public who are awakening to how the kleptocrats and financiers brought upon the Great Recession, the last thing a wise candidate should do is announce that they are the pawns of the Koch Brothers.

What does this appearance gain Herman Cain at this juncture? He must kiss the ring, but this knee-bending bit of political fellatio just seems very ill-timed.

Question: what negro folkisms and bits of black vernacular English will Herman Cain shuck, buck, and duck with next?

He has used "shucky ducky" already. Now we have "brother from another mother." If Herman Cain continues at this rate, the burnt cork will be brought out very, very soon.

Obligatory Cainage: Herman Cain Meets Marion Berry and Why Herman Needs to Confess that He Has Lust in His Heart

When I think of Black Walnut Cornbread Herman Cain's deflections and denials I can't help but think of Marion Berry. It is a small world. Perhaps they are cousins, or at the very least, members of a mutual admiration society.

Question: How many important events have been ignored by the news media this week because of Herman Cain's purported peccadilloes?

Nevertheless, he remains tasty, low hanging fruit that one cannot resist over indulging on--even at the risk of becoming horribly ill. The old maxim was always, "if it bleeds it leads." There is a cousin to that rubric. Sex sells. Race and sex and cartoonish black conservative pizza mavens sell even more.

Why? Even in the Age of Obama, race remains America's national obsession. Moreover, most voters are ill-equipped to talk about public policy with any degree of expertise. Because the masses are asses, and elites encourage them to remain in a state of stupefied ignorance, the public is attracted to sex scandals because the politics of the loins, and errors of Eros and lust, are topics that are universally relateable.

As the founder of Herman Cain studies, I offered an obligatory prediction regarding the total number of women who will eventually come forth and accuse him of sexual harassment (thanks owed to The Daily Beast for giving my over/under some shine). I have also uttered the heretofore obvious, but somehow still verboten:Herman Cain's accusers are white women.

As the weekend approaches, I will play Negrodamus one more time.

Conservatives, especially the Tea Party Christian Nationalist types who are Herman Cain's base, love a story of lust, corruption, falls from grace, and redemption. At this point, it is obvious that Herman Cain is guilty of something. My instincts suggest that at a minimum he stepped out on his wife a few times. In the worst case scenario, Cain got these women drunk and had sex with them--consensual or otherwise. Cain has lust in his heart. Therefore, he should be the fallen everyman and use his gift of melodramatic preacher pitchman Stepin Fetchit habitus to throw himself on the mercy of the Tea Party GOP public.

In another life, I worked in public relations and crisis management. If I had his ear, I would have told Herman Cain that the old school still remains the true school: the cover-up is always worse than the crime. Ideally, he should have gotten ahead of the story a week or so ago, issued an obligatory and vague statement, took the 24 hours news whipping, and moved on. We are past that point. Now Herman Cain has to do something a bit different to turn the tide.

If I had Herman Cain's ear, I would tell him the following.

Herman, you need to have a confessional. Unless you can have a third party silence these accusers, they are going to make a public debut. This will happen sooner rather than later. When the inevitable occurs, you need to channel your big tent preacher revival spirit. If need be, cry. The public is you. You are the public. We are all victims of a judgmental mainstream liberal media that wants to take down the only person who tells the truth. They defend Obama at every turn. The mainstream media, inside the beltway, East coast elites, are hostile to you because they are fundamentally dishonest. Herman, real America understands you. Play to this strength.

Communicate with your public: Don't let the media take this moment away from us.

Remember,"you," "we," and "us." Those words are your friends.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Thursday Prayer: Lord, Please Let Herman Cain's Accusers be Big Fat White Women

They say that you should never pray for personal enrichment or gain. Moreover, your prayers should be for the benefit of others. I am unsure if the prayer I am about to offer fits neatly into those guidelines. With the Great Recession, an anemic job market, and America possessed by an existential malaise, we could all use a good laugh.

So please don't blame me for what I am about to write. It is all my mother's fault, a little black lady from Shelbyville, North Carolina who pointed out that Herman Cain looks like a black version of Bill O'Reilly, and that he is likely a sex pervert who wants to have kinky sex with fat white women. She says that with no malice by the way, as some of her best friends are big fat white women.

Moms said I should offer up a prayer on that "website thing" I write on so that maybe God will answer it. I am a good son who cannot deny her anything.

A Prayer for Herman Cain

God; Krom; the Blessed Exchequer; JC Most High; Soul Brother Number One,

I have a favor to ask. I don't pray often and do not really have a tongue for it. I know you have my back as so many random things have happened in my life to my benefit that they cannot all be by accident. Yes, I am a bit of a deist and am a spiritual person. I have no interest in religion. I make no apologies as this is how you made me. In my heart I know what matters: you do intervene in life to make things right, when we help ourselves, and to smooth over the rough patches. I also know that you have a great sense of humor.

God, you are really creative. You made the universe and filled it up with dark matter as a type of joke on all us. You made aliens who travel between the stars just to put probes in people's butts. You put events into motion that created hip hop, the Wu-Tang Clan, and Biggie just to take it all away from us with coontastic minstrelesque Southern ringtone rap. You also made Halle Berry, Rosario Dawson, Zoe Saldana, and Rihanna. You have allowed an average guy like me to bed some beautiful women...just to eventually get tired of them. You are a trickster who makes bets with the devil just to prove a point about faith.

I have a favor to ask. The American people are really stressed out right now. We are trying to find a way in the world, and so many of us are hungry, scared, and worried about the future.

There is a good amount of evidence which suggests that laughter is actually healing for the body and the soul. It would make sense that you designed us that way.

I know that you are very busy, and maybe will have to delegate this to an intern, but please, if at all possible, could the women who were sexually harassed by Herman Cain be big fat white women? You know I have love for all of humanity. But, the visual of new age race minstrel Herman Cain chasing around a big fat white women would be a joy to behold. Yes, I know that stereotypes are wrong. I also know that they can be really funny.

One more quick request.

If you are feeling especially generous, could Herman Cain have also exposed himself to them, or offered up some flirtatious innuendo fit for a Moms Mabsley, Dolemite, or Lawanda Page?

Thank you, the American people could use the laugh.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Three is His Lucky Number: Four Questions on Herman Cain's Angry Black Man Sex Scandal

[There is a new poll up on the sidebar for those so inclined]

The men in white coats are coming to take him away. What a priceless image.

Pimp mack daddy Godfather Herman Cain is grumpy. I think he needs a nap.

An observation: President Barack Obama is not allowed to get angry lest he be called an "angry black man."

First question: will Herman Cain's momentary channeling of Sam Jackson be interpreted by his allies as proof that he is a "strong black man?"

Second question: There is a third woman accusing Cain of acting inappropriately. By the time this winds down how many accusers will there be in total? I say no less than five and no more than 7.

Third question: With each accusation of sexual harassment Herman Cain becomes more popular with his base. Is this a tipping model? Will Herman Cain's stock soar until it reaches a crescendo where his fly by night, thumbing of the nose at those liberals and feminists, becomes even too much for Conservatives to tolerate?

Fourth question: That which lingers but has not yet been broached...are these women white?

A Perpetual Line Stepper: Cornel West Wants to Go Upside Ron Christie's Head on Real Time with Bill Maher

Someone suggested that I sound like Ron Christie. I don't hear the resemblance as I am much more chocolaty and sensual, a mass of impenetrable negritude that calls women to me like a black hole in outer space beckons passing starships.

If "their" blacks are indeed better than "our" blacks, Ron Christie's appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher does not do their team much credit at all. I am all for ideological diversity, but I have to wonder at what point does personal integrity--or even intellectual honesty--become a variable and decision rule for talking head conservatives. Christie consistently talks out of both sides of mouth; this interview is no different, as he spins and offers nonsense talk in an effort to undermine President Barack Obama.

The Maher interview is also a great example of how punditry is a performance, especially in this example where Christie and West are both channeling their own respective types of negritude.

Cornel is the afrodemic superstar philosopher cut from the cloth of DuBois, who appears in movies, and produces unnecessarily dense prose in an effortlessly magical act of intellectual and philosophical creation. Christie is the approved and safe negro who is non-threatening, and operates from the head, and certainly not the heart (or the loins). He is passionless. In all, Ron Christie's blackness is his own interpretation and performance of Whiteness.

West is certainly clowning during this interview when he feigns wanting to knock Christie upside his head for being a perpetual line stepper. But, who do you think would win in a fight? Christie seems very traditional to me, the type to operate under the Queen's rules like a late 19th century era pugilist. West, an emcee and street intellectual, could get a little gangsta and gully if he so chose. Christie has youth; West has age and wisdom.

Who wins?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words: Please Stop the Lie, Herman Cain is Not Being Lynched

Herman Cain is being questioned about reports that during the 1990s he sexually harassed several women and his employer paid them hush money. The Right, who (re)discovered white victimology and grievance politics with the election of President Obama, and racism with their embrace of Herman Cain, have now deployed the "high tech lynching" oeuvre.

Clarence Thomas introduced that ugly phrase into the popular imagination with his pleading, desperate defense against sexual harassment charges during the Anita Hill scandal. Since that moment, it has become a type of lengua franca for black conservatives and their defenders.

Ann Coulter has used that ugly language to defend Herman Cain. Rush Limbaugh has used that ugly language to defend Herman Cain. Herman Cain himself has feigned martyrdom and invited a high tech lynching as proof of his bonafides as a black conservative.

The history of African Americans is a plaything for the Right and black conservatives. They pretend that Dr. King would have supported them, that the Democratic Party is a plantation, and black people are zombies and brainwashed fools--as opposed to a radically democratic and revolutionary people whose struggles have forced American democracy to live up to its potential and creed. Thus, the use of the phrase high tech lynching by conservatives, and their black lapdogs, is in no way a surprise.

A lack of surprise at their abuse of language, and distortion of history, is not a defense; nor is it an excuse. Herman Cain is not being lynched--be it by "high tech" or "low tech" means. Black conservatives are not being lynched--be it by "liberals" or other black folks.

If conservatives are willing to evoke the ancestors, and a very dark, twisted, and troubling history to make a cheap political point, they ought to be willing to look into the face of the very legacy and reality they reference.

To point: the political action committee Americans for Herman Cain has circulated an email provocatively titled "Don’t let the left ‘lynch’ another black conservative." This letter is intended to rally the troops in a spirited defense of their chosen son against an evil mob that would do him harm, hanging him from the lynching tree, where he would dangle like so much strange fruit.

As an experiment and object lesson, I am going to mate Herman Cain and his ally's pleas for money with some actual images from America's century-long history of lynching. Perhaps this simple act will expose the ugliness, cowardice, and disrespect that Black Conservatives and others have for the history of African Americans (and our struggle for full freedom and equality across the Black Atlantic), when they play with the language of racialized violence and slavery.

Folks often forget that words are violence. When Herman Cain and his allies utter the phrase "high tech lynching" they are committing a violent act. The tragedy for Herman Cain is that his allusions to lynching are a type of self-inflicted wound against the black community, a group to which he has some ostensible attachment.

I am troubled by that fact; However, I am more disturbed that Herman Cain, a child of the South, and Jim and Jane Crow, may not understand the harm that he does to himself, and to others, when he cries that he is a victim of human barbarism, most gross and most cruel.

I have a request. Herman Cain, please get the phrase "high tech lynching" out of your mouth. Please, tell your alllies to do the same. You are not being lynched. Nor, are you under any such existential threat.

Is a picture worth a thousand words? I suggest that it is...

Don’t let the left ‘lynch’ another black conservative

They’re at it again. The left is trying to destroy Herman Cain - just like they did to Clarence Thomas.
They are engaging in a “high tech” lynching by smearing his reputation and attacking his character.
The idea of a black conservative like Herman Cain as the GOP nominee is Barack Obama and the Left’s worst nightmare. That’s why they will do anything to take him down.
As the leading pro-Cain committee, we intend to fight back by launching one million phone calls in Iowa to defend Herman Cain. Will you join us?
The left wing have told Conservatives they have to pick Mitt Romney, despite his flip-flops on abortion, immigration, gun control. They’ve told us he’s more electable, ignoring the fact he’s lagging behind in the polls after 6 years of campaigning.
Let’s send a clear message to those who would like to tell us what to do. Let’s stand up against those who would like to take down any black man who stands up for Conservative values. Join “Americans for Herman Cain” today and support our efforts to fight back.
We have a real choice this time: Herman Cain. Will you help him today?
It’s days like this that reminds us why we launched “Americans for Herman Cain,” a project of 9-9-9 Fund.
Herman Cain has grassroots support. He has the poll numbers. He is a conservative. He can beat Barack Obama. Now it’s our job to propel him to victory in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, South Carolina, Florida, Michigan, and Arizona.
We’re going to do everything from TV ads, voter mail, advocacy phones identifying Herman’s supporters, to get out the vote programs. But we can’t do it without your help. We’re fiscal conservatives like you, and we won’t waste a dollar.
Will you help us by helping fund part of the one million phone calls we are starting ASAP in Iowa? Will you help us elect a true conservative outsider in the mold of Ronald Reagan to the White House?
Together, we will take our country back.
For America,
Jordan Gehrke
Campaign Director

Monday, October 31, 2011

An Exclusive Interview with Herman Cain: The Truth About His Sex Scandal, Love of Clarence Thomas, and the "Herminator" Experience

The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) works hard to bring you, our readers, the stories and information that you care about most. In the three years since our founding, we have had the good fortune to bring you candid interviews with such public figures as Jesse Jackson and Pat Buchanan. Some of our greatest coups have involved exclusive interviews with such personalities as Racism, Whiteness, and Glenn Beck's ill-fated Blackboard. And of course, the one and only Brother X-Squared made his Internet debut on our site.

In an effort to bring you cutting edge interviews with some of the country's leading figures, we have requested a chat with Republican Party front runner Mr. Herman Cain. Given our tumultuous history with Mr. Cain, we expected to be declined an on the record conversation. Much to our surprise he agreed to a one on one interview with WARNNN. In this candid conversation Herman Cain leaves no stone uncovered as he directly addresses a number of issues, most notably the recent charges that he sexually harassed two of his female employees while head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s.

WARNNN: Hello Mr. Cain, I would like to thank you for agreeing to do an interview. I know that you are very busy and your schedule has many demands placed on it. It is truly a pleasure to be able to chat with you.

Herman Cain: No problem at all. I love getting a chance to share my message with the people. The more they hear about how I am bringing businesses experience and plain talking truth to solving this country's problems the more excited they get. As President of Godfather's Pizza I know how to solve problems, I took a failing company and turned it around, I am also a bestselling author, you can hear my talks all over the country, I haven't even raised my speaking fees and...

WARNNN: We are very familiar with your career. It is quite distinguished. The American people have gotten a chance to know you these last few months and...

Herman Cain: Please let me continue. And I raised profits and efficiency. I even made pizzas myself! Did you know that I am a grandfather and that I beat stage 4 cancer. I am also a husband, a churchgoer, a Christian and...

WARNNN: Let's cut to the chase Mr. Cain, if you would allow us. You have said some very controversial things on the way to your party's presidential nomination in 2012. You have suggested that black people are brainwashed and not capable of thinking for themselves. You have called black people who don't support you slaves on a plantation. Do you still believe that? Why did you criticize, quite correctly, Rick Perry for frequenting a family camp called "Niggerhead," and then walk back your statement when Rush Limbaugh and others said you were playing the race card? Please explain?

Herman Cain: That is all you liberals can do, shift the subject, ignore the facts, and resort to name-calling.

WARNNN: You did say those things, correct?

Herman Cain: No, I didn't. You misunderstood me. Um, I was kidding and America needs to get a sense of humor. So yes, I am like Harriett Tubman. I will lead you to freedom, like her, I got a gun to shoot any of those confused slaves who won't run to freedom and want to run back to slave catchers like Cornel West and those other liberals with the Democratic Party.

Me and the good people of the Tea Party, along with good friends like Neal Boortz (his family almost owned my kin in the good old days of slavery) who love me and aren't racist will show you the way. If blacks would get off the plantation and not be brainwashed their lives would be much better.

Let's talk about something that matters like my plan to bring economic prosperity back to the United States please.

WARNNN: Fair point. Your 9-9-9 plan has been called regressive and unfair to poor and working class people. In fact, the plan will not raise sufficient revenue and will make income and wealth inequality worst. A majority of Americans think that we need a more fair economy, how does your plan accomplish this?

Herman Cain:...............You need to talk to my secret advisers and special most respected experts, your ciphering be wrong on this issue. Your so-called facts aren't right. Most important, if you aren't rich it is your own fault. You are a bum who is lazy if you aren't rich like me. Deal with it.

WARNNN: Okay, as an African-American, how do think your plan will help the middle class of that group, those strivers who saw their wealth and homes wiped out by the Great Recession?

Herman Cain: First of all, they need to go protest outside the White House, this is all Obama's fault. Second, I am not an African anything. I am a black American. I have empowerment zones that will let you create growth. No regulations, no zoning rules, nothing to hold back the job creators. Plus, you don't pay no taxes if you start up a business there and businesses will be freed of paying the minimum wage. Don't you see, it will be amazing! Plus, with my plan you don't pay taxes on used food or used goods. It is transparent and makes sense!

WARNNN: So you want people to dumpster dive? To eat old and used food? What about clothing? You want the working classes and poor to buy used clothes and other items? You want the American people to work in sweatshops without any rules for their safety and protection?

Herman Cain: I was po' growing up. Sometimes you got's to live within your means and make hard choices. I am tired and you are coming after me like I talked bad about your momma or something.

WARNNN: Let's change gears for a moment. During a recent interview you said that if you were elected President that you would select more Supreme Court Justices like Clarence Thomas? He is under a great deal of criticism for accepting monies from parties to cases that have come before the court. His wife was actually on the payroll of one of the plaintiffs in a case he presided over. There are calls for an investigation and perhaps his impeachment. Do these facts trouble you at all? Would you like to reassess your endorsement of Clarence Thomas?

Herman Cain: Like my grand-pappy said "I does not care!"

WARNNN: Like Clarence Thomas, you have also been accused of sexual harassment. Are these charges false? Did you sexually harass two women, who....

Herman Cain: I don't know what you are talking about, I have no recollection of those matters.

WARNNN: So two women were not each paid a 5 figure settlement, and agreed to never talk about the purported incidents where you supposedly harassed them?

Herman Cain: Oh those women. Now I remember. I told HR to handle it. I don't know what happened after then. I am ready for my high tech lynching just like Clarence Thomas. I am a front runner and a target. Those liberals at Politico are picking on me 'cause I am a strong black man! And...

WARNNN: Politico is hardly liberal Mr. Cain. In fact, you knew about this story for weeks and chose to do nothing about it. Level with us, they say the cover up is always worse than the crime. Come clean. What really happened Mr. Cain? Your public and the American people deserve to know.

Herman Cain: Okay, one more time. When I was growing up we were poor, really poor. I finally worked really hard you know. Kept my noise clean and out of all that Civil Rights trouble making. But I saw things, you know. The guys with the money, driving around with the chromed out Cadillac, getting all of the women. My dad eventually saved up enough money to buy one, you know, a way of saying, "look we made it!" But, I never forgot those men with the fancy cars and all the attention and women they had. Real respect, you know what I mean.

WARNNN: I think I see where this is going, did you...

Herman Cain: Let me finish. As a man of god, I know the power of baring one's soul in the eyes of the people. So, I learned some rules from them, rules to keep me out of trouble. That is why anyone who works for me must get my permission to talk first, I want silence and obedience. There are other rules too, women especially can't make eye contact with me. That isn't permitted. If you look me in the eyes it means you want me, you want to get to know me.

WARNNN: Wow. Let me confirm. Are you saying these women came onto you in some way? Lured you in?

Herman Cain: Toot sweet they did! I told them, you look at me it means that you want the Herman Cain experience, I am the Herminator and I won't be stopped. I told them, you are gonna get on board the Cain train one way or another! Dig it!

WARNNN: What else happened? You are a married man Mr. Cain. Did that not enter your mind?

Herman Cain: You see one of those women is from Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, being a poor boy who grew up in the South and riding in the back of the bus 'cause I didn't want any trouble, I dreamed of such an exotic woman. I stole sips from the white water fountain when I was growing up and figures what's the big deal, so I just had to have some of her sweet love. Don't you get me? Makes sense, right?

WARNNN: You have to appreciate the irony Mr. Cain, you are an admirer of Clarence Thomas, a man who sexually harassed Anita Hill and made lurid jokes about pubic hair and referenced porno movies and the actor Long Dong Silver. Now you are basically admitting that you harassed those two women years ago?

Herman Cain: I never harassed them. But, you got to let Cain be Cain. I offered them the Herman Cain experience after they made eye contact with me and dared to speak without being spoken to first. That is a huge difference. Clarence may have had his Long Dong Silver jokes, but I got the "9-9-9." You get me? 9 inches of length, 9 inches of girth, and 9 hours of satisfaction! I am not like that fake black man Barack Obama, I am the real deal, a real black man. I am black walnut ice cream, not the flavor of the month, I told those women that you can eat it on the cone or the cup, it lasts longer than a week.

WARNNN: Excuse me? Would you like to repeat that? That is so offensive that...

Herman Cain: This horse done be out the barn, don't stop me now. I don't snuff my own seeds, I's follow through on my business to completion. You have a woman and you leave her smoking and then you have a smoke after. Get me? In fact, I told those women, the one in the hotel actually, that the way to know if meat is good is too taste it. If it is too salty you know the ingredients are cheap. I ain't salty. I am "grade A," high quality.

WARNNN: Why did you settle? Did these women rebuff your advances? Threaten to sue, to out you, ruin your career?

Herman Cain: We made a deal. I told them that I can't be denied, they would give in eventually because I am the Herminator. The only way to keep women away from me is to put me inside a building surrounded by an electric fence that says in English and Spanish that if you touch it you will be electrocuted. We knew that wasn't going to work, so a little hush money and their walking papers seemed like the best deal.

WARNNN: One quick, final question. Are you at all worried that these accusations could hurt your campaign? That by admitting to these charges that your run for the presidency will be derailed?

Herman Cain: All those white people in the Tea Party who like me can't possibly be pretending. They will have my back like they always do.

WARNNN: I do have to say that you did not disappoint us Mr. Cain. Good luck with your campaign and I do hope that we get to chat with you again.

Herman Cain: I am off to sell some books, I got's alot of people to talk with and convert. You will see me again soon. God bless America. I love this country.

Shameless Self-Promotion: Chauncey DeVega on Ring of Fire Radio Talking About the Tea Party GOP Death Cult

Boo! Did I scare you?

Here is my interview with the always gracious Mike Papantonio, host of Ring of Fire Radio, and also a frequent guest on the Ed Schultz Show on MSNBC.

I like this interview. I cut to the chase and really hit my point about the stages of grief and the extreme political ideologies of the Tea Party GOP as highlighted by the clown car that is their 2012 presidential candidates. An interview is also a dance--Mike led the conversation quite skillfully and we got to do some good work together that I hope the listeners enjoyed.

As always, please offer your thoughts, suggestions, advice, and reactions.

Some Historical Truths Are More Frightening than Halloween Fictions: Torturing Slaves at the Lalaurie House in New Orleans

Happy Halloween...

Paul Mooney always cuts to the bone. He offers a fair question though: where are all the black ghosts? And why are white folks in America obsessed with spooks, ghouls, and things that go bump in the night?

There is a rich tradition of belief across the Black Atlantic in which the elders in the spirit world mingle with the living and offer advice and guidance across the great divide that separates their world from ours. But to my knowledge, we have yet to see a practitioner of Obeah, Santeria, or Vodun on any of various ghost hunter reality shows.

Wouldn't it make a great episode though? Imagine the frights if the ghost hunters went to an old plantation and recorded some electromagnetic voice phenomena. What would the long departed slaves communicate to us in the present? Would they be happy? Would they be angry?

The following is a story fit for a horror movie. In the 1800s, The Lalaurie House in New Orleans was the site of deeds that were gross, evil, banal, and barbaric. Here, slaves were subject to tortures beyond imagination by an owner who would make Jigsaw from the Saw films look gentle.

If the story is to be believed, apparently the unsettled souls of our ancestors still reach out to torment the living.

For folks like me who came of age in the 1980s, the Amityville Horror was the ultimate "what if?" sleep over scenario. After reading about the horrors of the Lalaurie house I will have to reevaluate that standing rule.


The finery of the Lalaurie house was attended to by dozens of slaves and Madame Lalaurie was brutally cruel to them. She kept her cook chained to the fireplace in the kitchen where the sumptuous dinners were prepared and many of the others were treated much worse.

We have to remember that, in those days, the slaves were not even regarded as being human. They were simply property and many slave owners thought of them as being lower than animals. Of course, this does not excuse the treatment of the slaves, or the institution of slavery itself, but merely serves as a reminder of just how insane Madame Lalaurie may have been.... because her mistreatment of the slaves went far beyond cruelty.

It was the neighbors on Royal Street who first began to suspect something was not quite right in the Lalaurie house. There were whispered conversations about how the Lalaurie slaves seemed to come and go quite often. Parlor maids would be replaced with no explanation or the stable boy was suddenly just disappear... never to be seen again.

Then, one day a neighbor was climbing her own stairs when she heard a scream and saw Madame Lalaurie chasing a little girl, the Madame’s personal servant, with a whip. She pursued the girl onto the roof of the house, where the child jumped to her death. The neighbor later saw the small slave girl buried in a shallow grave beneath the cypress trees in the yard.

A law that prohibited the cruel treatment of slaves was in effect in New Orleans and the authorities who investigated the neighbor’s claims impounded the Lalaurie slaves and sold them at auction. Unfortunately for them, Madame Lalaurie coaxed some relatives into buying them and then selling them back to her in secret.The stories continued about the mistreatment of the Lalaurie slaves and uneasy whispering spread among her former friends. A few party invitations were declined, dinner invitations were ignored and the family was soon politely avoided by other members of the Creole society.

Finally, in April of 1834, all of the doubts about Madame Lalaurie were realized.....A terrible fire broke out in the Lalaurie kitchen. Legend has it that it was set by the cook, who could endure no more of the Madame’s tortures. Regardless of how it started, the fire swept through the house.

After the blaze was put out, the fire fighters discovered a horrible sight behind a secret, barred door in the attic. They found more than a dozen slaves here, chained to the wall in a horrible state. They were both male and female.... some were strapped to makeshift operating tables... some were confined in cages made for dogs.... human body parts were scattered around and heads and human organs were placed haphazardly in buckets.... grisly souvenirs were stacked on shelves and next to them a collection of whips and paddles.

It was more horrible that anything created in man’s imagination.According to the newspaper, the New Orleans Bee, all of the victims were naked and the ones not on tables were chained to the wall. Some of the women had their stomachs sliced open and their insides wrapped about their waists. One woman had her mouth stuffed with animal excrement and then her lips were sewn shut.

The men were in even more horrible states. Fingernails had been ripped off, eyes poked out, and private parts sliced away. One man hung in shackles with a stick protruding from a hole that had been drilled in the top of his head. It had been used to “stir” his brains.

The tortures had been administered so as to not bring quick death. Mouths had been pinned shut and hands had been sewn to various parts of the body. Regardless, many of them had been dead for quite some time. Others were unconscious and some cried in pain, begging to be killed and put out of their misery.

The fire fighters fled the scene in disgust and doctors were summoned from a nearby hospital. It is uncertain just how many slaves were found in Madame Lalaurie’s “torture chamber” but most of them were dead. There were a few who still clung to life.... like a woman whose arms and legs had been removed and another who had been forced into a tiny cage with all of her limbs broken than set again at odd angles.

Needless to say, the horrifying reports from the Lalaurie house were the most hideous things to ever occur in the city and word soon spread about the atrocities. It was believed that Madame Lalaurie alone was responsible for the horror and that her husband turned a blind, but knowing, eye to her activities.Passionate words swept through New Orleans and a mob gathered outside the house, calling for vengeance and carrying hanging ropes.

Suddenly, a carriage roared out of the gates and into the milling crowd. It soon disappeared out of sight. Madame Lalaurie and her family were never seen again.

Rumors circulated as to what became of them.... some said they ran away to France and others claimed they lived in the forest along the north shore of Lake Ponchatrain. Still other rumors claimed the family vanished into one of the small towns near New Orleans, where friends and relatives sheltered them from harm. Could this be true? And if so, could the terrible actions of Madame LaLaurie have "infected" another house in addition to the mansion in the French Quarter?

Whatever became of the Lalaurie family, there is no record that any legal action was ever taken against her and no mention that she was ever seen in New Orleans, or her fine home, again.

Of course, the same thing cannot be said for her victims.....The stories of ghosts and a haunting at 1140 Royal Street began almost as soon as the Lalaurie carriage fled the house in the darkness...

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Robert Putnam, Social Capital, and (Not) Bowling Alone in Afghanistan

I am watching my beloved New England Patriots lose to the Steelers; I need a distraction.

Robert Putnam is one of the country's preeminent social scientists. It is rare that an excellently researched work (as compared to Samuel Huntington's much overrated Who Are We?, a book that I very which loathe) crosses over to undergraduates, graduate students, and the general public--Bowling Alone did just that.

This interview is so much ghetto nerd academic awesomeness. For example, I had not thought of the Great Recession and robber baron theft by the financier class as a failure of social capital.

And who knew that Robert Putnam had a personal audience with Libya's Muammar Gaddafi?

I have so many fond memories that are connected either directly or indirectly to bowling. I played video games in the arcade of Johnson's Duckpin Lanes with Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson when I was in middle school. I traveled up and down the roads of New England and the tri-state area with friends and family to Junior Bowling Tournament events (and I never will forget beating then soon to be PBA star Patrick Allen in a trios match; needless to say, he was none too pleased). Summers were also great fun, as me and my friends would bowl for free in an effort to "break the bank" so to speak, clocking in at least 100 games a day.

Reading this piece from the AP about Kabul, Afghanistan's first (and at present, only) bowling alley really puts matters in perspective. While millions of Americans are suffering through the Great Recession, there are some folks in other parts of the world who would quite literally kill for just a few of the basic amenities (and relative social stability) that many of us have taken for granted, for far too long.

The little things do matter; they are also very revealing bellwethers of a society's overall social and political health.

Here is one such example:

Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Saturday Documentary: Just Who are The One Percent?

It may come as a surprise to some, but sociologists, demographers, political scientists, anthropologists, and economists know very little about about the top 1 percent of earners in this country.

In contrast, the poor and "the underclasses" have been the subject of volumes of research on their habits, values, hygiene, life chances, communities, neighborhoods, health, income, criminality, and wealth. Why? Because "the public," more generally, and the poor, specifically, are seen as a problem to be regulated and managed by the State.

The "income defense industry," financier, moneyed classes are an amorphous group. They are discussed in clinical terms such as "the power elite" or the "global superclass." Alternatively, the top 1 percent are talked about in the language and logic of conspiracy and threat as the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers or the Shadow Government.

In all, the moneyed classes have the resources and social networks with which to protect their interests. Privacy allows them to operate with relative impunity; thus, the kleptocrats can game the system and pull the levers of the government to ensure that they are rarely the focus of coverage by the media--or research by academics or journalists.

I don't blame them for desperately clinging to their privacy. If I were a member of a class which made an average of 27 million dollars a year, while the rest of the public only earned an average of 34 thousand dollars a year, I too would lay low and operate in the shadows.

The documentary The 1 Percent offers a great peek into the world of the moneyed elite. Beyond the pop culture fantasies of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, these folks are the real deal.

When you watch this documentary keep in mind that most wealth in America is inherited, the class position of one's parents largely determines where a given individual ends up in the income and wealth hierarchy as an adult, and that these are the very people who Rick Perry, Herman Cain and others want to exempt from taxes.

And what about this?

So wealth is a sign of Christ's love? The poor are poor because God has decided that wealth would be too much of a burden for them? In the 21st century, how did Christianity become perverted and hoodwinked by retread Calvinists who now call themselves Republicans?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Be Careful! Big Pimpin Herman Cain Will Put You On Pimp Arrest for Reckless Eyeballing

It is hard out there for a white pimp. Get your hustle on Mr. White Folks!

No deep analysis here. Just a chance to indulge in some pimping goodness...

1. Given Herman Cain's love of chromed-out Cadillacs, and now the newest information that Cornbread does not allow staffers to talk to him unless they are first spoken to, I deem him the Tea Party Pimp Godfather. But Herman Cain still needs a street name, any suggestions?

2. Of the "popular" pimps, I got nothing but love for Fillmore Slim--granted these folks are a bunch of clowns who exploit the weak and the vulnerable--but Mr. Fillmore has a certain "compelling" habitus:

What Would James Madison Do (WWJMD)? Would the Framers Support the Occupy Wall Street Movement?

Populist movements are exciting; they are quintessentially "American" moments that validate our national mythos. This sentiment appears on both sides of the ideological divide.

Although they are an AstroTurf organization funded by the Koch brothers, the Tea Party believes that they are "of the people," and in turn represent the authentic voice of a disaffected silent majority.

Occupy Wall Street, a spontaneous, unfocused, sit-in movement, speaks for an aggrieved and upset public who are disgusted by robber baron gangster capitalism, and an ineffective government that has abandoned the Common Good to the interests of the American kleptocracy.

The Tea Party, and Occupy Wall Street, are united in a belief that their respective struggles are in keeping with the best traditions of American democracy and citizen activism. In all, they imagine themselves to be fulfilling the cornerstone values of American civil religion; moreover, the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street are (in their own eyes, and however problematic the assumption) ideal-typical examples of American exceptionalism in action.

While the former is more explicit in this regard (with their fetish-like worship of the Constitution and love of period regalia), both have embraced freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and the right to petition the government for the redress of grievance, as values which are central to their respective "movement cultures." Implicit here, is a belief that the framers of the Constitution would support their efforts and goals.

As it often does, and once more, history complicates matters.

The Constitution, while extremely radical for its era, is in many ways an anti-democratic document that is designed to subvert and prevent mass democracy. The framers represented a particular set of regional, economic, class, and racial interests. The Constitution was a compromise document that reflected those realities. For example:

1. The Constitution is an explicitly pro-slavery document which protected the interests of the Southern planters and those of the landed classes;

2. The Senate, founded as an American version of the House of Lords, was a representative body explicitly designed as a check on the House of Representatives. Senators would finally be subject to direct popular vote, as opposed to nomination, in 1913;

3. In order to exercise the franchise to vote, citizens had to be white, male, and own property, a requirement that would not be changed until the era of Jacksonian democracy. The practical effect of these rules was that a significant part of the American public were ineligible to vote from the time of the founding through to the first decades of the 19th century (with white women being granted the right to vote in 1920);

4. James Madison and others expressed a deep anxiety about factions, the passions of a mass democratic public, and how infectious differences over property and wealth could usurp American democracy--and therefore ought to be protected against by the Constitution.

In total, the long arc of the American experience has been a broadening of rights, liberties, and freedoms, as well as the enfranchisement of whole categories of citizens originally left out of the Constitution's vision of democracy. Ultimately, mass democracy has meant working against the elite democracy imagined by the framers.

While certainly not possessed of a lockstep unity of belief on matters of public and social policy (this flattening of history and mythologizing of "the founding fathers" was a product of the 1950s and the Cold War), the framers were, in many ways, the "1 percent" of their era.

Of course, one needs to be cautious in reading back to a specific moment more than two hundred years ago and importing the framer's sensibilities to the present (What would they say about globalization? Would they be aghast that Corporations are now legal persons? How would they respond to an America that is extremely diverse and a global power?).

But, as Occupy Wall Street works in the best tradition of citizen-activism to reclaim the power of transformative, radical democratic action, it behooves us to ask just who the "1 percent" were in the past, and how their interests may (or may not) echo into the present.

Thus the question: What would James Madison, one of the most "elitist" of his peers, think about the 99 percent? What of the framers more generally? How would they respond to Occupy Wall Street?