Friday, September 12, 2008

The Niggaro Universe Proclaims: Democrats’ Support for Liberal McCain Proves That They Put Country Last!

****Because of the hole in the space time continuum created by the Large Hadron Collider, the Niggaro Universe has overwritten the universe of We Are Respectable Negroes. Scientists are diligently working to correct this problem, and it should be rectified in the next few days. For now, because of the influence of this alternate reality things are changed. Our Barack Obama is now "Barack O'Bama," a white Republican, Sarah Palin is a black Democrat, Joe Biden is Joe Biden but just a Republican, and John McCain is a maverick, Democratic populist. Zora, Gordon, and Chauncey have been replaced by their doppelgangers from the Niggaro Universe. They are the same, yet different. If you too have been changed by the disruption of the space time continuum do not feel obligated to resist. Instead, indulge your new self until this Crisis on Negro Earths is remedied****


Quick thought experiment: Imagine that a Republican candidate had graduated at the bottom of his class. Be honest—such a Republican wouldn’t be able to sniff the presidency, not in a million years; yet the last two Democratic candidates, George W. Bush and now John McCain, have a proven record of mediocrity. They only got ahead because of their daddies. Call it affirmative action by nepotism.

Republicans produce proud candidates who forge their own paths. Consider Republican war hero John Kerry, whose stellar combat record was shamelessly savaged by the liberal media during his 2004 Presidential campaign.

But let’s look more closely at media darling John McCain.

Fact: Hothead McCain graduated 5th from the bottom of is class at the Naval Academy.

Fact: After reaping the benefits of being the son and grandson of admirals, McCain crashed five planes. Five!!!!

Fact: McCain dated strippers.

Fact: McCain recorded 32 propaganda films for the Viet Cong. In these tapes, he condemned America. And he has the absolute gall to question our doubts about his patriotism?

Fact: McCain divorced his first wife once she was crippled, but not before he started cheating on her with Cindy.

Fact: McCain again benefited from nepotism when Cindy’s father—himself a crook, by the way—hired McCain to his beer distribution company.

Fact: McCain was a member of the Keating 5 and was proven to be not a maverick, but an entrenched corrupt Washington insider.

Fact: McCain called his wife a “cunt” in public.

Fact: McCain has several questionable radical associates.

Fact: McCain claims to be for the people, but he and his zillionaire wife, with her $300,000 outfits and half a million dollar credit card charges, don’t even know how many houses they own. And they want to call the O’Bamas elitist?

What all of this adds up to is that we can learn a lot from the judgment and the character of Democrats who have chosen McCain to lead their party and our country. What does it say about Democrats that they have fawned over a traitorous dimwit with an overblown military record? What does it day that they back a gigolo who has never had to do an honest day of work in his life due to his daddy, granddaddy, and daddy-in-law? What does it say that he exhibits the lack of family values that those on our side exalt over all?

Because the radical, angry leftist media refuses to tell the truth about this man’s character and past, it is up to us, the righteous conservative warriors on radio and on the internet, to let the American people know the truth!

3 comments:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

counrtry first sounds like an air freshner

Batocchio said...

Great series! Keep 'em coming!

g said...

God you guys are funny!!!

I love this idea!