Friday, September 12, 2008

The Nigarro Universe Proclaims: "Quota Queen" Sarah Palin's ABC Interview is More Proof that Affirmative Action Has Failed All Americans

****Because of the hole in the space time continuum created by the Large Hadron Collider, the Niggaro Universe has overwritten the universe of We Are Respectable Negroes. Scientists are diligently working to correct this problem, and it should be rectified in the next few days. For now, because of the influence of this alternate reality things are changed. Our Barack Obama is now "Barack O'Bama," a white Republican, Sarah Palin is a black Democrat, Joe Biden is Joe Biden but just a Republican, and John McCain is a maverick, Democratic populist. Zora, Gordon, and Chauncey have been replaced by their doppelgangers from the Niggaro Universe. They are the same, yet different. If you too have been changed by the disruption of the space time continuum do not feel obligated to resist. Instead, indulge your new self until this Crisis on Negro Earths is remedied****

The We Are Respectable Negroes News Network in conjunction with the Super Excellence in Broadcasting Station and Uncle Chauncey El Limbo O'Reilly DeVega brings you our Friday Talking Points Memo:

While the liberal media and the McCain campaign cry foul over the phrase "lipstick on a pig," Sarah Palin, Democratic Candidate for VP was preparing for her television interview with ABC News.

After watching the interview I can now see why the Libs were so desperate to make sure that Sarah Palin was "comfortable," was going to do the interview at a "time and place of her own choosing," and when the media was going to be "deferential" to her.

The Democrats don't need to be worried about O'Bama's joke about lipsticks and pigs, when in fact they have said much much worse. After watching the Palin debacle, the folksy phrase the Democrats need to be worried about is one I learned from my grandma: You Can't Polish a Turd!

While we know that Palin's selection as VP is the product of identity politics on the Left, this need to put a black and female face on their ticket in order to win over their base and to shore up their liberal credentials, still shocks me. I remain amazed out how they couldn't find someone who is actually qualified for the position of vice president. Is there not one person of color in the Democratic Party with the ability to step up and take the reigns as Vice President?

If one were to watch Palin and imagine her as president, with the authority to make important decisions which impact our nation and the world, the picture that would be painted would be truly frightening:

1. Palin would have us at war with Russia. Assuming she knows where Georgia is, she actually believes that the United States should deploy military force against a country with thousands of nuclear warheads to protect Georgia? Excuse me, Georgia? A small country of marginal geopolitical influence, and one that is certainly not worth a nuclear war.

2. Israel. I will say it again Israel. Miss Earmark Palin would cede our national interests to another country. Palin it seems would give Israel a blank check to do as it wishes with the full assurance that the United States would back their play. Are you kidding me? Does Palin know anything about international relations and the fact that countries are self interested actors? Accordingly, you never cede your authority to another country because it is rarely in your favor.

3. The Bush Doctrine. God bless Charles Gibson for throwing Palin a lifeline. In watching her fumble for an answer I almost felt bad for her. Watching her it reminded me of the scene in the movie Caddyshack where Chevy Chase is trying to teach Bill Murray how to golf and he's kind of saying, "You're not, you're not ..." And he's standing behind him and he's trying to -- and he says, "You're not good." Palin's performance resonates with me and reminds me of that scene because frankly, she's just not good.

4. The Bush Doctrine point 2. Palin clearly didn't know what the Bush Doctrine is. I will repeat it, this woman, this affirmative action hire, doesn't have a basic knowledge of foreign relations. Yet, she is going to be one heartbeat away from the presidency. Am I the only one scared to death by this? As Palin fumbled through her answer it was striking how unqualified she is and how this whole thing came about within the Democratic Party. I think it really goes back to the fact that nobody had the guts to stand up and say no to a black woman. Ironically, these liberal policies, this policy of playing identity politics over merit is going to end up strangling liberals too.

5. Palin on Foreign Affairs again. Watch the video of Palin again. For your own sake, and because I don't want you to believe that I have convinced you of this fact, please watch her interview on ABC a second time. If you do, you will see the presumptive Democrat presidential nominee wandering aimlessly in desperate hope for a cogent thought. Again, if Sarah Palin were Caucasian, they would have taken this woman out on the basis of pure ignorance long ago.

6. Hubris. Did Palin even know what the definition of hubris is? Clearly, we see why she needed six years and four colleges to earn a Bachelor's degree.

America we are at a real cross-roads with this election. On one hand you have Barack, a real visionary, the American success story, a young man of destiny and vision. On the other hand, you have a party that has insulted the intelligence of the American people. The Democrats think you are stupid America! They think that black people and women will vote for Sarah Palin just because of her gender and her skin color. The Democrats are doubly insulting because they think that by trotting out a woman who uses her family as a prop that they can win votes. This is sad, sad, sad.

Sometimes we have to swallow a bitter pill. I feel sorry for Sarah Palin and I mean this sincerely from my heart. She is clearly over matched and under qualified for the job she has been offered. It is because of this very reason that I am against affirmative action and quotas. These programs hurt the very recipients of the programs by putting them in positions for which they are under prepared and ill equipped. Palin is the product of set-asides and special privileges. Her whole career has been the result of someone opening a door for her and lifting her up. Not once has she ever had to pull herself up by her bootstraps, not once!

The America we Republicans love, the America of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson is one where you make it on your own. The America we Republicans love is that of Martin Luther King Jr., one where you are judged by the content of your character and the strength of your ideas. This is not Sarah Palin and the Democratic Party's America. No, their country is one of special privileges, quotas, and affirmative action.

Sadly, Palin's interview showed us just where those policies will lead us.


David Gerard said...

I applaud once again the wisdom of Matt Damon.

macon d said...

Thank you! Masterful satire--Mark Twain is spinning in his grave--with absolute delight.

Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...

This isn't satire this is the truth!!!! Facts and truthiness!

You people outside of the Nigarro Universe are very sick and sad it seems!

I can't imagine living in your reality!

Uncle Chauncey El Limbo O'Reilly DeVega

Anonymous said...

Yukon Barbie is suffering from WWS (White Woman Syndrome) hence the hubris.

No, my comment is not satire either.