Chauncey DeVega says: Tom, Say it isn't So!!!--Tom Brady Out for Year with Knee Injury

I am a proud New England Patriots mark (I have written about them here, here, and here). And I am not a band wagon fan as I have followed my team through the highs and the lows. Hell, I even took a chitlin' challenge when the Pats played Indy last year (I made a bet with Gordon that I would eat those nasty pig guts if my peeps lost...luckily I didn't have to eat those poop filled entrails). Yes, my commitment to the team is that great.

Tom, we will miss you. And thank the maker you didn't do a Broadway Joe and have that knee taken out for good. Till next year my friend.

Respectable Negro allies and New England Patriots fans: who should be brought in to replaced Mr. Brady? Chris Simms? Daunte? Vinny T? Get 'ol Bledsoe back? Stay with Cassel?

Courtesy of a Reader's Suggestion: Black Republicans Showing Their True Colors at the Republican National Convention

The following is one of my "black people make me sad moments."

See Black Republicans speaking with Arianna Huffington here.

Did you know that there were black minstrels who would put on the cork and pretend to be white in order to work in vaudeville--sort of a double blackface of sorts:



Am I being unfair?

McCain and Palin Caught with their Pants Down! Sin, Sex, and the Republican National Convention

In the spirit of our blog posts, “Batboy Banned from Photo-Ops by Obama Staffers,” and “Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome, Obama's Nuts, and Jesse Jackson’s Pain,” we bring you the following breaking story.

From the We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN):

Republicans are not properly disposing of their pornography and adult movies. At least that’s the message from the Citizens for Morality and Public Decency in St. Paul, Minnesota.

The citizens group claims they found 12,000 assorted pornographic items, including adult videos, magazines, sex toys, and other sex paraphernalia disposed of outside of the hotels and buildings used to host the Republican National Convention last Thursday.

Republican convention organizers denied that the pornography belonged to their attendees. They also denied rumors that these adult titles were distributed as either party favors or door prizes at the many semi-private events held by the respective state delegations. When pressed on these questions, a spokesperson for McCain replied that these items were placed around St. Paul to carry out a “cheap political stunt.”

McCain supporters said one of the largest caches of pornographic materials were discovered by a vendor at the Xcel Convention Center following the conclusion of the Republican National Convention. The vendor supposedly found trash bags full of adult DVD’s and magazines in and near garbage bins, and turned them over to the Citizens for Morality and Public Decency.

Today, members of Citizens for Morality and Public Decency were sorting through 84 bags of pornographic material in an effort to catalog it in order to ensure that it meets new federal regulations passed by the Bush administration which are designed to prevent underage actors from performing in adult titles.

Anonymously, several members of the community group have shared with WARNNN reporters that they are especially concerned that many of the movies are “very explicit.” Offering details, our contact in the Citizens for Morality and Public Decency shared a concern that, “…many of the titles feature older men and young women, I am no prude but some of the stuff is pretty hardcore. There also seems to be lots of military themed movies as well, stuff about marines and sailors tying each other up. I was really shocked frankly because the Republicans present such a wholesome face. I would never imagine that they would watch movies like this. Some of the stuff I didn’t even understand, I had to look it up on the internet…I never knew what a MILF was, but now I unfortunately do.”

Michael Smith, spokesman for the Republican National Convention Committee, released a statement saying that people should applaud the fact that thousands of pornographic items were recovered from the streets of St. Paul and are now safely away from where children may discover them. But, Smith has some concerns regarding the legality of the Citizens for Morality and Public Decency’s actions.

“They wrongfully took leftover bundles of property that supposedly belong to guests and attendees at the Republican Convention to play out a cheap political stunt which calls into question our morality. This action shows they have no credibility.”

Republicans have long faced charges of being hypocrites on issues of morality and ethics. McCain has faced attacks on his personal integrity since the beginning of the race from critics who point out his role in the Keating 5 scandal, his flip-flopping on abortion rights, and his marital infidelity. So severe have been these charges that McCain has set up a Web site specifically designed to fight such attacks.

Anticipating the rebuttal that these materials were placed around St. Paul by the Obama campaign, the Democrats released a statement Friday calling any assertions that they planted these X-rated and pornographic materials at the Republican convention site “hysterical.”

McCain said Friday that the Democrats and groups like the Citizens for Morality and Public Decency are trying to make the election a morality contest, and that “what they’re really saying is ‘we’re going to try to scare people about McCain. So we’re going to say that you know, ‘Maybe he’s a pervert or we’re going to say that, you know, he hangs out with strippers or that he has lust in his heart.’”

U.S. Code says the proper method for disposing of pornography is in fact burning, provided it is “no longer useable for its intended purpose.”

The Adult Video News, which produces a magazine and website dedicated to the adult film industry, says on its Web site that pornography and adult materials can also be put in the trash, when they are “worn, damaged or tattered beyond repair.”

This Respectable Negro's Feelings Have Been Hurt--Mr. McCain and the Republicans Once More Exclude Us Poor Negroes from the American Narrative

In this country, we believe everyone has something to contribute and deserves the opportunity to reach their God-given potential, from the boy whose descendants arrived on the Mayflower to the Latina daughter of migrant workers. We're all God's children, and we're all Americans...

John McCain, Acceptance Speech, RNC Convention, 2008

Mr. McCain has again made clear his party's ambivalence to Black folks (as though it was hidden). This is hardly a surprise given the Republican Party's half-hearted courtship of black voters, and the calculus that blacks are not a viable part of the Republican coalition. Granting this dynamic, that politics is chess not checkers (one of my favorite phrases...I like to remind folks whenever I use one of my ever brilliant turns of the English language), and furthermore that McCain is reaching out to Hispanics and Latinos--especially those nearly white Hispanics looking to be fully inducted into Whiteness--his nod to them is to be expected.

But, can't McCain throw Black Americans at least a little love as being a people who are central to the national narrative? I, like you, know the answer. McCain cannot include Black Americans as "Americans" in his halcyon infused imagining of America because our very inclusion would detract from the Republican's grand narrative this election cycle (and of many previous), that Black people are really alien, hostile, foreign, and outside of the American mainstream: especially if they are named Obama and Michelle.

Black Americans are a people without history it seems--out of time, not rooted in place. I guess we must simply accept that the African presence in the New World, as well as the black "American" presence in the Colonies prior to the founding are just inconvenient facts for this White conservative framing of American history (these are the moments where I really miss Brother Ivan Van Sertima). In their eyes we have no history. Ignorance is indeed a comfortable, well worn blanket isn't it?

I wonder, what would happen to McCain's and the Right's narrative if they included a little bit of their own hidden history(ies)? Would the White narrative be destroyed if those inconvenient facts of White history (that time before "White" people existed, when they were just Scots Irish, Irish, Brits, Slavs, French, etc., and not yet "White" people in mass) were included in their framework?



Or would the Right and Conservatives simply include this history as another way of claiming that slavery is something to be gotten over? Would they (re)assert their misreadings of history with their tired appeal to the White ethnic myth, this idea that the Irish and Italians "had it hard" but then prospered, so why can't Black people?

Some quick thoughts:

1. Looking at the Washington Post's piece on how the GOP has abandoned Black voters, how do black conservatives reconcile their loyalty to this party?

2. Thinking about black Republicans again, and especially of the ones at the convention, how did they feel? Were they scared to death by all those U.S.A. chants? As we respectable negroes have pointed out earlier, if you are Black and hear U.S.A. chanted (and you aren't at a sporting event) you best to get the hell out of there, cause a lynching is a coming. Or do they feel emboldened and excited? That they are included in this moment of patriotic zeal and excitement, that the Republicans in house are "color-blind?" {insert laughter here}

3. Or, do the black Republicans at the GOP convention feel special and privileged? Do they get extra attention? It seems they certainly focused on the same 10 people over and over again, but do they have groupies? Is there a special sticker that white conference attendees get if they slept with the token negro? Or maybe there is a contest where the winner gets a t-shirt that reads "I went to St. Paul and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...But I did have group sex with one of the black republican delegates while wearing a Sarah Palin thong and a John McCain mask!"

4. As Field Negro mentioned earlier this week, what was the over/under on the number of non-white attendees at the convention? I would guess 50 in house and 10 shown on television. Your guess?

5. Related: did you see the older black delegate wearing the red shirt, suspenders, and (I believe) train conductors hat? Old man Moses/Uncle Ruckus's impassioned howls and screams could be heard ever so often over the orgiastic moans and clapping of the rest of the audience.



6. What other interesting people of color (excluding the really dark skinned Indian guy they kept showing, because as we know Indians are really Caucasian/Aryan) did you see on the convention broadcast?

7. No, I am not engaging in petty identity politics where I have some artificial barometer for Black authenticity. As readers of this blog know I/we are pretty pragmatic in our politics, but I have to go back to self-interest and the idea that a party should at least make an effort to include me in the big tent if I am going to offer them my allegiance. Re: black Republicans, and please don't do that party of Lincoln nonsense, why are you a Republican? How did you feel watching that convention? Are you a Republican because you are rich? If so, that makes sense and your honesty is refreshing. Or are you a Republican for some other reason?

8. But then again, when talking about black republicans I write "black" as "black" as opposed to the more correct and politically infused "Black." It is a cheap, yet subtle shot. And no, I won't apologize.

9. And don't think for a moment that I dislike Black Republicans:

Chauncey DeVega Says: A Public Service Announcement for McCain-Palin Supporters

Let no person say that I lack love and concern for my fellow man. Here, I am speaking directly to the Republicans at the convention, to the soccer moms who haven fallen in love with Sarah Palin, to the ditto heads and Fox News watchers, and finally to any of you in "the heartland" who are intoxicated by the right wing populism on display at the Republican Convention. Republicamericans, I am issuing this warning so that you can take the necessary steps to end your addiction to the dangerous (and quite addictive) smorgasbord being cooked up this week by the presumptive Republican presidential and vice presidential nominees John McCain and Sarah Palin.

My Republican friends, I am concerned by the fact that while your belly may be full following your gorging at the Palin-McCain buffet, that your hearts (and minds) will remain empty. In the same way that I have implored others to moderate their intake of the Obama-aid, I also urge you all, for the sake of your collective health, and the long term well-being of your families to pull yourself away from the table, to look in the mirror, and to ask yourselves, "can't I do better? Is the Palin-McCain buffet hurting me or helping me?" Remember my friends, while in the moment you may be enjoying the gastronomical bliss of the right wing populist buffet at which you have seated yourself, that in the long term, you still have to confront a set of difficult and terrible truths couched in the form of two questions: Are you eating because you are unhappy? Are you unhappy because you are eating?

Heed the wisdom of brother Larry in the following video: does he not speak for your condition?



Remember his immortal words, "I love to eat. I wasn't looking at the after effects, the side effects, the repercussions, the side kicks...This is me and my world...I love my food, I appreciate my food. Once you eat everything goes away, all the headaches, all the pain, all my misery. I am not saying everything is gonna be alright, everything is gonna be alright, this is like home sweet home, another dimension, a twilight zone."

Familiar isn't it? Republicamerica, as you watch McCain's speech tonight please place brother Larry and the power of his example in the forefront of your hearts and minds. Hopefully, Brother Larry's example will help you work towards breaking your dangerous addiction to the McCain-Palin buffet of (hollow and false) right wing populism. If you can't break this addiction for yourselves, please break it for the sake of your children and families.

Sarah Palin: American Hero, Leader, and Visionary

In watching the Republican National Convention, I realized how great Sarah Palin is. Gordon and Zora are wrong, dead wrong on this one: Sarah is a great American. The audience in attendance at the RNC convention, with their energy and excitement have won this respectable negro over to the cause of this greatest and most wonderful of vice presidential candidates. Yes, there is a bit of nostalgia for Sarah Palin in this negro's heart. Yes, she reminds me of the great heroines of days gone by, women who are rare in an era of triumphant political correctness. You Sarah have won my heart because you are a living reminder of the way that women should be--standing by your man and having his back in a bar fight...or even a wrestling ring.



Enter: Sarah Palin, the GOP's very own Sally the Farmer's Daughter. Sarah, this old country negro is officially smitten by you.

Chauncey DeVega's World of Ghetto Nerds: A Formal Request for the Expulsion of Cowboy Troy from the Tribe of Black Folk

I have not argued for the discommendation of a Negro since Clarence Thomas's confirmation hearing for the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, events have come to pass which have once more forced my hand in this direction.

Because of his despicable actions during the 2008 Republican Convention, I hereby, according to the by-laws of the respectable negro council, submit country music singer/rapper Cowboy Troy for excommunication from the tribe of honorable negro warriors.



Per the following designated categories, Cowboy Troy through his actions has shed the last remnants of personal honor and therefore must suffer discommendation because of the following indicated offense:

___ Driving Miss Daisy

___ Bagger Vancing

___ Clarence Thomas Lap Dogging

___ O.J.'ing

___ Blatant Victomology a.k.a. the Jesse Jackson Offense

X Black Lap Dogging before a Conservative Audience

___ Consistent and Chronic Lack of Race Pride

___ Cooning and Lawn Jockeying a.k.a the Crime of Committing the Flava Flav

As a senior member of the We Are Respectable Negroes leadership council, I need the agreement of one other founding member, and the votes of 5 other members of the respectable negro tribe (or alternatively, 4 lifetime members and one white honorable ally) to complete Cowboy Troy's expulsion. If I have indicated the incorrect offense, or if Cowboy Troy should suffer discommendation because he has instead violated some other unstated and auxiliary regulation not listed above, please indicate this discrepancy according to our established rules and procedures.

Respectfully submitted,

Chauncey DeVega

An Angry Reader Responds: A Case for Sarah Palin

The following is a letter that was sent to us in response to our recent postings on Gov. Sarah Palin. It seems that we’ve stepped on a few important toes in her home country – yes, the state of Alaska is so out of touch with the rest of the United States that I have to refer to it as a foreign land.

The writer of the letter has made it her business to highlight Governor Palin’s hands-on experience as "an executive" in contrast to an “entitled” Barack Obama who is clearly a product of Affirmative Action and corrupt Chicago politics. Apparently, the writer of this letter was part of Senator McCain’s initial vetting committee.

Let no one say that we respectable negroes do not acknowledge the value of dissent. Read an excerpt for yourselves ….

Dear Negro,

… Governor Sarah Palin made history on Dec. 4, 2006, when she took office. As the 11th governor of Alaska, she is the first woman to hold the office. Since taking office, her top priorities have been resource development, education and workforce development, public health and safety, and transportation and infrastructure development.

Prior to her election as governor, Palin served two terms on the Wasilla City Council and two terms as the mayor/manager of Wasilla. During her tenure, she reduced property tax levels while increasing services and made Wasilla a business friendly environment, drawing in new industry.

Sarah Heath Palin arrived in Alaska with her family in 1964, when her parents came to teach school in Skagway. She received a bachelor of science degree in communications-journalism from the prestigious University of Idaho in 1987. Palin, who graduated from Wasilla High School in 1982 in the top 80% percentile of her class, has lived in Skagway, Eagle River and Wasilla.

She is married to Todd Palin, who is a lifelong Alaskan, a production operator on the North Slope and a four-time champion of the Iron Dog, the world's longest snowmachine race.

Todd and Sarah fish in Bristol Bay with their children – Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. Through Todd’s Yup'ik grandmother, Alaska’s Native heritage plays an important role in their family. Indeed, as the great grand-children of a Native American princess, the Palin children have an intimate appreciation of our nation's diversity.

Palin is a lifetime member of the NRA and enjoys hunting, fishing, Alaska history, and all that Alaska's great outdoors has to offer.

I have taken the liberty of listing for you some examples of the complicated issues that Palin has faced as an elected representative. With her all-American background and her proven track record in overcoming challenges, Palin is clearly better equipped than Barack to guide our nation in these difficult times and to meet the needs of Americans.

The postings on your blog only serve to demonstrate the ignorance of your people. I hope that the information I offer will help you to see the value of a true American like Palin.

Sincerely,

A Proud Alaska Republican

Energy Policy

On June 24, 2008, at 1000 hours, the owner of Performance Yamaha in Wasilla contacted Wasilla Police to report that several gallons of gasoline had been stolen over the past month. The value of the fuel stolen is approximately $1,350. Anyone with information regarding these thefts is asked to contact the Wasilla Police Department at 352-5401 or Mat-Su Crime Stoppers at 745-3333. The investigation continues.

On July 16, 2008, at 1026 hours, Wasilla Police responded to Performance Yamaha regarding a theft. The complainant, Josh Estes, age 26, of Wasilla, stated that unknown person(s) had stolen 60 gallons of gasoline during the weekend. The investigation continues.

On July 14, 2008, at 1339 hours, Wasilla Police responded to Rent-A-Center for a report of Criminal Mischief and a Theft. Employees reported that unknown person(s) had cut the fuel line on one of their delivery trucks and took approximately 26 gallons of fuel. The investigation continues.

Alcohol & Drug Policy

On July 9, 2008, at 1651 hours, Wasilla Police received a call from Fred Meyer Loss Prevention Agent, Gary Swett, reporting that he had a shoplifter in custody. Roger Harvey, age 21, of Palmer was placed under citizen's arrest for stealing $31 worth of merchandise from Fred Meyer. Harvey was also found to be in possession of illegal drugs. Harvey was transported to the Mat-Su Pretrial facility and remanded accordingly.

On July 12, 2008, at approximately 0225 hours, Wasilla Police conducted a traffic stop on a 1999 green Honda. A subsequent investigation found probable cause to believe that Aubrey Robison, age 19, of Wasilla, had consumed alcohol and was under 21 years of age. Robison was issued a summons to appear in court on the charge. Further investigation found probable cause to believe that James Woodin, age 20, of Wasilla was in possession of marijuana and he was issued a summons to appear in court on that charge.

On September 1, 2008, at 2217 hours, Wasilla Police responded to a report of a theft from the Brown Jug Liquor Store at the ShopRite Mall. The suspect, Pavel Pukharev, age 18, of Wasilla, was later located on Foothills Road near Cloverleaf. Pukharev had taken a 750 ml bottle of whiskey and was later identified and placed under citizen's arrest by one of the employees. As a result, Pukharev was transported to the Mat-Su Pretrial facility and remanded for Theft in the 4th degree. Pukharev is also being charged with Person Under 21 on Licensed Premise and Minor Possessing Alcohol.

Prescription Drug Benefits

On June 24, 2008, at 1549 hours, Susanne Banfield, age 37, of Wasilla, reported that on June 6th an unknown person had picked up her prescription pain medication from the Wal-Mart Pharmacy. The investigation continues.

On July 14, 2008, at 1953 hours, Lorie Lottier, age 36, of Wasilla, reported that on July 10th, someone had stolen her medication out of a vehicle while she was shopping at Wal-Mart. The investigation continues.

Terrorism

On July 5, 2008, at approximately 0650 hours, Wasilla Police responded to a car fire at a residence on Success. Upon their arrival, police met with the owner Kelly McManus who stated that someone had thrown a firecracker into the front seat of his 1987 Ford van causing a fire in the front seat. The Mat-Su Fire Department was called out to extinguish the fire. Damage is estimated at $1,200. The investigation continues.

Welfare Policy

On August 29, 2008, at 0436 hours, Wasilla Police were dispatched to a collision involving a vehicle and a moose at mile 2 of Knik Goose Bay Road. On arrival police found that James B. Clark, age 51, of Florida, first hit the moose with his rental truck and then Cass T. Wallis, age 43, of Wasilla, hit the moose with his vehicle. No humans were injured and all drivers were wearing seatbelts. The moose was salvaged by a charity.

On September 2, 2008, at approximately 0330 hours, Wasilla Police received a request to conduct a welfare check on a male who was in the middle of the road on the Parks Highway near Lucas Avenue and appeared to be intoxicated. A subsequent investigation led to the arrest of Jon Howard, age 47, of Palmer, for disorderly conduct for throwing a large rock at the police. Howard was transported to the Mat-Su Pretrial facility where Magistrate Wielkopolski set bail at $500 cash or corporate.

Housing and Urban Development

15.04.020 Limitations. Housing and urban development powers assumed at this time are limited to the development of a senior citizens housing project. (Prior code § 13.18.020)

Telecommunications and National Security

On June 24, 2008, at 2017 hours, Wasilla Police responded to Wendy's Restaurant for a report of a theft. While investigating the incident, officers were given a cell phone by witnesses to the theft that had been dropped by the suspect. Witnesses also identified two women and one man as the subjects involved. While officers were speaking with witnesses, one of the suspect women involved, later identified as Lisa Sheldon, age 32, of Wasilla, called the cell and thought she was talking to another of the suspects, but was actually talking to one of the officers. As a result, officers were able to make contact with Sheldon at a park and questioned her about the incident. Sheldon falsely identified herself as her sister and lied to the officers about the identity of the suspect. Once Sheldon's name was confirmed, officers were advised that she was currently wanted on a $2,000 failure to appear warrant. As a result, Sheldon was placed under arrest for the warrant, in addition to Hindering Prosecution in the 2nd degree and Providing False Information. Sheldon was remanded at the Mat-Su Pretrial facility and bail was set at $1,000 cash for each count. The male suspect is still at large and the case is currently under investigation.

Hmmmm...

Both Clinton and Obama have eagerly donned the mantle of identity politics. A Clinton victory wouldn’t just be a victory for one woman, it would be a victory for little girls everywhere. An Obama victory would be about completing the dream, keeping the dream alive, and so on.…

Clinton’s fallback position is that neither she nor Obama should be judged as representatives of their out-groups. They should be judged as individuals.

But the entire theory of identity politics was that we are not mere individuals. We carry the perspectives of our group consciousness. Our social roles and loyalties are defined by race and gender. It’s a black or female thing. You wouldn’t understand.

David Brooks 01/15/2008

*****************

The pillars of American liberalism -- the Democratic Party, the universities and the mass media -- are obsessed with biological markers, most particularly race and gender. They have insisted, moreover, that pedagogy and culture and politics be just as seized with the primacy of these distinctions and with the resulting "privileging" that allegedly haunts every aspect of our social relations.

They have gotten their wish. This primary campaign represents the full flowering of identity politics. It's not a pretty picture. Geraldine Ferraro says Obama is only where he is because he's black. Professor Orlando Patterson says the 3 a.m. phone call ad is not about a foreign policy crisis but a subliminal Klan-like appeal to the fear of "black men lurking in the bushes around white society."

Good grief. The optimist will say that when this is over, we will look back on the Clinton-Obama contest, and its looming ugly endgame, as the low point of identity politics, and the beginning of a turning away. The pessimist will just vote Republican.

Charles Krauthammer 03/12/2008

Rules of Inequality

With the news of John McCain's savvy selection of a vice-presidential running mate, Obama strategists must consider the following:

Y = % White Women Who Will Vote for Obama

X1 = Desire to See a Woman in the White House

X2 = Desire to See a Black Man in the White House

X3 = Political Party Affiliation

% White Women Voting for Obama =

f(X) = X1 + X2 + X3

Given the Inequalities,

X1 > X2, X1 > X3, X3 > X2,

What percentage of white, female voters will support Barack Obama in the upcoming election?