Monday, December 16, 2013

They are Dreaming of a White Christmas: What if Fox News and Megyn Kelly Interviewed Zwarte Piet, the Netherlands' Black Faced Assistant to Santa Claus?

We are in the final week--and hopefully finally 3 days--of the fundraiser here on We Are Respectable Negroes. I would like to thank all of the folks who have donated so far. With my hand out, I want to try to demonstrate some of the unique, I think at least, conversations and critiques that I try to bring to the site as way of finishing up the annual fundraiser and encouraging a few more folks to throw some change into the collection pile.

Laughter and satire are useful tools for exposing the truth. As I have done on other occasions here on We Are Respectable Negroes, I try to have fun and to use the comic and the absurd as a way of "speaking truth to power". Here I wrote about how Megyn Kelly's observations on Fox News about how "white" Santa Claus and Jesus were examples of white supremacy and the white racial frame in action. I want to push that a bit farther. Given that Kelly is so dim, where else could her ignorance lead her on these matters? Let's indulge ourselves and work through what could be a counter-factual turned real for the Fox News White Right-wing echo chamber.
Megyn Kelly: Here at Fox News we strive to be fair and balanced. Last week, I was unfairly criticized by liberals who can't take a joke because I said something obvious and they are overly sensitive.

Silly me, I thought it was common knowledge that Santa Claus and Jesus were white. Apparently, the organized Left-wing in this country took offense. They also don't have much of a sense of humor and are obsessed with playing the race card. That sad and tired old race card doesn't even get time off for the holidays. Goodness gracious.

Taking a cue from President Barack Obama and his love of "teachable moments", I decided to show those liberals who said Fox News and my show are racist for saying that Santa and Jesus were white, that they really don't understand how conservatives don't see a person's color.

There is something really insidious with The Left and their bigotry and intolerance especially when it is part of the War on Christmas and attempts to rob the United States and its children of their Christian roots.

My guest on today's show is Zwarte Piet, or as his friends in the Netherlands also call him, "Black Pete". He is one of Santa Claus's--they call him Sinterklaas in the Netherlands--helpers and is responsible for making toys and punishing all of the bad little boys and girls. And just like how our traditional values have been under attack in this country for way too long, Netherlands is also trying to resist its very own War on Christmas.

First, I would like to thank Zwarte Piet for being a guest on the show. I have a toy version of you in my home that I put out for Christmas. We have you dangling right near the top of our Christmas tree!

Zwarte Piet: So good. I am so happy to talk to the American people and to make sure that bad little boys and girls know that I will be giving them coal in their stockings if they don't behave. Sinterklaas loves all the good little boys and girls who mind their parents, do their homework, and are nice. He sends me for you bad little brats. Always be good now.

Megyn Kelly: Your Christmas tradition in the Netherlands has been going on for thousands of years. In America, Christmas is being threatened by the forces of political correctness. Schools and public places are not even allowed to mention Christmas, Jesus, or put out decorations because it is offensive to atheists, Muslims, feminists, gays, and other minorities.

Here at Fox News we are working hard to stand up for traditional American values. In the Netherlands, you and the other Zwarte Piets are being threatened by people who say that you are racist and that your skin color is disrespectful to the blacks. How is this making you feel? You don't even have a skin color, you are quote unquote black because of coal dust from chimneys right?

Zwarte Piet: Very upsetting. Very sad. Christmas is for all children and people around the world. Zwarte and Sinterklaas love all children of every color and language and nationality. My skin color is from the black coal dust and my hair and lips are just what they are. Sinterklaas is white. I am black. We are friends. I work for him. We love everyone the same.

Megyn Kelly: Like America with our changing demographics because of a broken immigration policy and broken borders, your country is also in lots of trouble too. Native born people in the Netherlands and elsewhere in Europe are being forced to change their values and beliefs because of immigrants from all over North Africa and elsewhere. Why can't these new people in your country just accept you Zwarte? Political correctness and liberal multiculturalism is causing havoc all over the world. What do you think of those "anti-racists"--what is really just a way of being "anti-white" and practicing reverse racism--who want you to not be part of Netherlands' holiday celebration? That you and Sinterklaas are relics from the past?

Zwarte Piet: Like herring and tulips, me and Sinterklaas are part of Netherland's rich culture and history. Even if a few mean grownups want to take me away from the children all the fun loving adults and their kids will keep me and Sinterklaas as part of the holidays. We love the children. This is all just good fun for the holiday season.

Megyn Kelly: In a world where there is so much conflict, you and Sinterklaas are great role-models for how people of different racial backgrounds can get along and work well together. I also think that you are a great role-model for black children here in the United States. Given all of the poverty in America's cities and how so many young black kids do not have good role-models, come from broken homes, and don't see people around them working hard, being self-reliant, and living the American dream of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and joining the middle class, I think that you Zwarte Piet could do some great work in this country. Instead of criticizing me and Fox News, black leaders and the NAACP should reach out to you and really keep Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream alive.

Zwarte Piet: I am confused. Me and Sinterklaas love the children. We are apolitical. Be good little boys and girls. Don't be bad or you will get coal in your stockings.

Megyn Kelly: I knew you would agree with me Zwarte. It was so nice to have you on the show. Merry Christmas!


Bryan Ortez said...

hehehe that's great

j.ottopohl said...

Zwarte Piet is one of the many holdovers of Dutch colonially formed racism that still exists. People like to think the Dutch are "progressive", and they are if you think things like slavery and colonialism are progressive. Objectively there are many things about Dutch society including their refusal to come to terms with their colonial atrocities in Indonesia that are extremely racist. There are many Dutch slave forts including Fort Ussher in Accra, still one of the poorest areas of the city. Unlike the Germans who only had one slave fort and have made a concerted effort to come to terms with their colonial past in West Africa, the Dutch generally feel they did absolutely nothing wrong in Africa or Indonesia.

Buddy H said...

Here are "Children's Letters To Megyn Kelly":

She is the ultimate fox female. Upskirt blonde spouting conservative talking points. Imagine the fantasies Roger Ailes must have about her?

Martin Wisse said...

Nitpicking because I care: coal in stockings? No, bad kids either get the switch or are kidnapped in a sack and sent to Spain. All done by a blacked up man who is in no way intended to resemble any stereotypical images of actually existing black people.

chauncey devega said...

Fox News and the facts do not have any relationship to one another :)

kokanee said...

Megyn Kelly:
Native born people in the Netherlands and elsewhere in Europe are being forced to change their values and beliefs because of immigrants from all over North Africa and elsewhere.
Oh bother...

Am I getting this right: the black guy brings coal to the bad little boys and girls?

Miles_Ellison said...

It is more than a little interesting that something that is such a rich part of Dutch culture looks a lot like the racist minstrel crap that the US exported to Europe in the 19th century.

chauncey devega said...

You and your coincidences! Respect Fox News!

chauncey devega said...

It is a type of right-wing fetish porn. Very far right wing fascist 1920s and 30s.

chauncey devega said...

Zwarte Piet loves the children! You be quiet!

Bryan Ortez said...

I had a few conservatives in my online group get into a "who's the hottest on Fox" conversation.

they love that mind porn