Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Our White Criminal of the Week: White Man Commits 10 Felonies in 9 Hours!

The second honoree in WARN's series on white criminals is a good one. Quigonjin, one of our loyal crime stoppers, was kind enough to send in some information on this foul brigand highwayman. Always remember: if you see something you should say something! White crime only flourishes when we ignore their obviously suspicious behavior.

Given that white people have a particular propensity for cheating and subterfuge, as evidenced by the fact they are more likely to be financially rich, the behavior of William Todd should not be a surprise. White criminals are particularly earnest in their trade--be it looting the finances of millions of Americans in the fraud that precipitated the Great Recession--or committing 10 felonies in 9 hours.

People of color simply do not have it in them to commit crimes on such a scale, and with these high levels of speed and efficiency. Once more, white crime is especially pernicious, threatening, and loathsome. Responsible Americans everywhere should pay close to attention to the white men in their midst as these folks are capable of criminal deeds that astound the mind--and apparently they have a love of marking their turf with human feces.

Be scared, very scared by white men such as William Todd. Because they are pathological--and as such often quite skilled at hiding their predilections--many such men could be ticking time bombs, hiding as your "normal" children, neighbors, husbands, or coworkers. Whiteness is invisible. This trait only contributes to its owners ability to commit crimes as they escape without consequence or arrest.


One man traveling through Tennessee allegedly completed a crime spree with such urgency that even local police say they'd never seen anything like it.

William Todd, 24, is accused of committing 10 felonies in just nine hours while going on a "terror" through Nashville.

"He was just on a terror. I've never seen anything like this before," Sgt. Tony Blackburn, told WSMV.

Todd is not even a native of Nashville. Police say he traveled there on a Greyhound bus from Kentucky before beginning his unprecedented crime spree. Upon arriving in Nashville, he allegedly broke into a local business called The Slaughterhouse, where he stole a Taser, revolver and shotgun. He then proceeded to steal a T-shirt from the Slaughterhouse before burning the business to the ground.

Todd then moved on to a local bar, where he held four patrons at gunpoint. He robbed all four individuals but not before using the Taser on one and pistol-whipping another.

Just five minutes later, Todd moved onto his next alleged felony, carjacking a taxi driver at gunpoint. After leaving the cab, he used the credit cards he had stolen from the bar patrons to buy food.

"He was able to find the Walmart on Nolensville. He goes there and purchased $199 worth of items," Sgt. Blackburn said.

And that was only the beginning.

In the early hours of the following morning, Todd then broke into a local hotel's law office. He not only vandalized the offices but also then defecated on a desk and smeared his feces on some of the framed law degrees.

Leaving the offices, Todd then reportedly robbed several of the hotel guests. He knocked on their door pretending to be a female housekeeper, then robbed them at gunpoint. He was also reportedly crying while doing so.

He then briefly paused for a change in personal appearance.

"We have him on video leaving the hotel with a shaved head," Sgt. Blackburn said.

After crashing his stolen cab into a local parking garage, Todd then quickly held another taxi driver at gunpoint. When police finally apprehended Todd, he was hiding atop Opryland, partially submerged in a water-cooling vat. The Metro Fire Department was brought in to assist in Todd's removal from the vat, using a bucket and ladder truck.His bond has reportedly been set at $180,000.

"He rode the Greyhound bus and had a layover, then left in blue lights," Sgt. Blackburn said. "There definitely could be more charges. We hope that there are no more victims."


Beyond-The-Spectrum said...

Well, one thing you cay about him: he did the town big time--no half-steppin' with a single felony!

chaunceydevega said...

@Beyond. He was very motivated. They are a crafty lot!

Comrade Physioprof said...

Dude, I had no idea you were a conference A-lister!


freebones said...

i like these pieces. they make me laugh because i like to make points in this way: by reversing the logic, and of course, i know you do not mean what you say, but are merely making a point about how the same generalizations are often applied to non-whites.

however, perhaps you should advertise it as such more clearly? the many clowns and kool-aid drinkers who frequent the comments here will probably take this literally, not too mention anybody who simply stumbles upon it.

and that simply fuels the divide.

these features are brilliant demonstrations of the absurdity in logic that applying this type of analysis constitutes. it would be a shame for them to misinterpreted.

just a suggestion. :)

sledge said...

chaunceydevega said....
People of color simply do not have it in them to commit crimes on such a scale, and with these high levels of speed and efficiency.

Yeah, if I'm around don't open a package of peanut butter crackers and then lay them down to take a call on your cell.

chaunceydevega said....
Given that white people have a particular propensity for cheating and subterfuge, as evidenced by the fact they are more likely to be financially rich....

So you're saying that William Todd would be rich except for the fact that for a your typical evil white person he is exceptionally stupid?

Perhaps we should give thanks for small blessings. One wonders if he had known as a young person that someday he would be featured in White Criminal Of The Week if it would have made any difference in his life.

I realize from your later post that you were using reverse logic in your comments in the piece. (Actually, I didn't while I was reading it.) I still think you find diamonds of truth in many of those claims and there are those who take them as gospel.

To them I say, just leave those peanut butter crackers out unattended and see what happens.

ColorBind said...

@Chauncey: Given that white people have a particular propensity for cheating and subterfuge, how about some really big fish, like the heads of Solyndra, who took $500 million and went bankrupt, putting poor employees out of work, or John Corzine, who "lost" $1 Billion of other people's hard earned cash?

chaunceydevega said...

@Free. I hear you. But I can't hold their hands, especially for the willfully racist and bigoted, and I am no fan of disclaimers. Are there any other ways of winking at the audience.

@Sledge. Proves my point--blacks steal peanut butter crackers, whites steal trust funds, stocks and bonds, and ruin economies. Thanks for proving my point ;)

@Color. Don't worry. We are getting there.

Constructive Feedback said...

My Dearest Friend Chauncey DeVega:

1) How many Black people were injured/murdered in this WHITE MAN'S criminal onslaught?

2) How much Black Economic wealth was jeopardized in this WHITE MAN'S criminal exploits?

3) What about an Asian/Hispanic or India/Paki criminal makes them inferior to appear on your blog as The {Fill In The Blank} Criminal Of The Week?

4) Since your typical rebuttal about racist White Conservatives is: "Why do they focus on the Black petty thief while WHITE FOLKS with business suits are stealing with invoices on official letterhead".....................are you not guilty in that you have this poor White trash character up as your designated criminal?


5) As you scour the news feeds looking for the "White Criminal Of The Week" might this be taking away time that you could have spent investing in a "Would Be Pillar Within The Black Community" so he does not morph into a "street pirate" as his peers are allowed to define his consciousness instead of a "conscious brother" like YOU?

Do you see - the POWER of "Racism Chasing" and "Non-White White Supremacy" is seen in the opportunity costs of what you and those who have the dominate ideological position within the Black community are FAILING to do in the way of human resource development.

slave owner said...

hahahaa, the gutter ape race is now doing articles on white crime... you can never underestimate the IQ of negroes, they'll always prove they're even dumber than before :)

hey, let me guess your negro retort: I'm a 'racist'

you gutter apes are funny

s o said...

my apologies to CF, when I see race baiters like Chauncey, I forget that not all blacks are racists

sledge said...

Well SO that was a big help in race relations. Thanks for that input.

Name calling as a method of making a point doesn't work very well. Especially, when your point is referring to the IQ of others. It tends to backfire on you.

chaunceydevega said...

@Constructive. Do you ever laugh or smile? The crusade must be exhausting!

@Slave owner. This humanzee loves you. Can I have a hug? Pretty please. If I don't get my way there may be a chimp out. Be weary.

@S.O. You just don't get the point do you? So blinded and narrow minded you are.

Weird Beard said...

@Constructive Feedback
As you scour Chauncey's feeds chasing the racism chasers, couldn't you have spent more time elevating the consciousness of folks like slave owner that are an embarrassment to the white community? Couldn't you be educating him on how to be a pillar of the white community instead of an internet troll. Can you smell the power of chasing racism chasing and white non-white white supremecy?

fred c said...

Oh, Professor, go ahead on. These guys certainly deserve their mocking, they've earned it. "William Todd: Gunsel of the Year." The dark side of Whiteness is dark indeed. It could be called, "Tales from the Real America," or "Red State Follies."

This poor fool was no doubt big time tweeking. After a sleep period and a baloney sandwich he was probably asking himself, as we might ask, what the fuck was I (he) thinking? Unless he's too stupid to accomplish wondering about anything.

I'd love to know why he tasered the guy in the bar. Maybe just that he'd never tasered anybody before. There's good back-story here, but we'll never hear it I'm afraid. Maybe his girlfriend kicked him out for hogging all the crank!

But his Whiteness will not save him, he will be remanded to a correctional institution. I don't like his chances either, being stupid in prison is a terrible fate. It's quite likely that he will die after a close encounter with a sharpened toothbrush.

Slave Owner said...

Chauncey my pal, if there is a race war then you people will become slaves again. What job do you think you would be good at? I hope you have figured out that there won't be any affirmative action jobs like the one you have now.

But I don't think that negroes have the capacity to anticipate much.

S.O. said...

Is fred a light-skinned negro or is he one of those white suckups who hang around black logs to prove he's 'not a racist' ?

If the latter, then usually the case is that they were terrible racists in their earlier days and are now motivated by guilt. That's why they are so willing to get on their knees and lick any black but they can reach with their tongues.

Weird Beard said...

You know that is another interesting thing. In mainstream dominant cultural dialog, people seem to regularly fear and exploit the manifestations of the more extreme outspoken commentators on race issues from the black community. Take this new wave of hubbub over the new black panthers causing a stir for example. Yet trolls like S.O. are a dime a dozen and since they are entrenched in the cloak of whiteness they tend to be overlooked and not considered a valid sampling of white culture. Dominant cultural dialog disproportionately holds blackness accountable while giving their 'own' the benefit of the doubt. So glad we live in a 'post-racial' era. Time for everyone to pull yourselves up by your bootstraps because racsims is ancient history. Yup, not the 1960's anymore. Time to just get over all this made up stuff. lawl

sledge said...

Slave Owner or S.O. or whatever you want to call yourself.

Answer this. Do sick people realize they are sick or does forever elude them?

Your comment: "If the latter, then usually the case is that they were terrible racists in their earlier days and are now motivated by guilt. That's why they are so willing to get on their knees and lick any black butt (corrected for you) they can reach with their tongues."

I suspect in the sickness of your mind that your greatest fear (or possibly longing) is that this is your future.

Seek help before it becomes your truth. Or purchase large quantities of dental hygiene products. I really don't care which.

freebones said...

@slave owner:

-predictable tactics
-doesn't use a real blogger name
-poor grammar
-repeats same insults multiple times

1/10 poor troll