Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Masses are Asses: Herman Cain's "9-9-9" Plan is the Ringtone Rap of 21st Century Politics

And at every turn, he stresses his business background, noting that at a recent debate fellow Republican candidates dismissed his 9-9-9 tax plan as politically dead on arrival.
“Politicians put together things that will pass. Businessmen put together plans that solve the problems,” he said.
Indeed, Cain’s 9-9-9 plan seems to have put him on the map. Following the rally in Jackson, Cain bolted off the stage and shook hands with onlookers, including Linda Fowler-Cole, who had wandered over after a shopping trip to Lowe’s and was wearing a T-shirt with an oversized picture of Obama “I heard the 9-9-9 guy was here and I came to take a look,” the Democrat said. “I like Obama, but that 9-9-9 is catchy.”
In Bartlett, Tenn., Cain drew a number of black supporters who were excited at the prospect of a conservative African-American of his stature.
“To me he represents what Martin Luther King was talking about when he talked about his dream,” Reginald Tooley, a 49-year-old physical therapist from Memphis, said. “With hard work and self-reliance you can do anything you want.”
Cain says he has been buoyed by support from regular folks.
“You just don’t know how much this encourages me, the fact that you all came out tonight,” he said in Waverly.
“You see, this is what the folks in D.C. don’t get because they don’t come out here to meet with you.
The masses are indeed asses. While political scientists such as Converse, Stokes, Campbell, and others said much the same thing in a more sophisticated manner, my pithy one liner has a bit more zing to it.

We had black folks crying on election night because Barack Obama was going to pay their rent and buy them gas. During the campaign there were black folks in Harlem who confused Obama and McCain's policy positions during interviews. Not to be excluded, we had the low information, upright walking mouth breathers who flocked to Sarah Palin.

And now, we have corn bread black walnut black garbage pail kid black conservative Herman Cain whose "9-9-9" plan has caught the ear of the masses.

Herman Cain should cut a check to the "rent is too damn high!' brother because he totally stole his (rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, emphasize words, simple slogan) gimmick.

All I have to offer is a sigh. Sunday, Herman Cain is on Face the Nation. The memorial for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will also be dedicated on that same day. Given this coincidence of events, I shudder to think of the foolishness that will come out of Herman Cain's mouth on Sunday.

Brace yourselves folks, Herman Cain is a consummate performer. He cannot, will not, and is existentially incapable of, letting such an opportunity pass without performing a special buck-dancing routine for his Tea Party GOP masters.

You have been forewarned. Be prepared.


Oh Crap said...

And yet...Bill Robinson: often imitated...never duplicated.

I was thinking earlier that all the crap that spews from Bachmann, Palin, Breitbart, Fox News/Nation, and now Cain is like inoculation, for when GOP pols try to implement not-quite-as-bad actual policies.

Cain is a willing mouthpiece for them, a lot like a court jester who can get away with saying the outrageous crap none of the others can.

Though, its not like the others don't come close. This is what we get, from people with utterly zero ideas for anything.

And I wonder where Constipated Faceplant has been throughout all of this. Tweaking code to monitor all us marxist types, I guess. Dumb bigot.

chaunceydevega said...

@ohcrap. It pays. It pays very well.

Oh Crap said...

Yeah, it pays a few handpicked tokens. The rest of us have to endure the stupid dupes who fall for their wares,blah.