Friday, May 6, 2011

A Final (Guest) Post on the Trump Hating on Obama Birther Meme: The Birth Of A Nation - Certificate.

We Are Respectable Negroes works because there are good folks who have stuck with it from the beginning. As I continue to evolve WARN, I have been spreading our wings and inviting friends and allies to offer up their thoughts in this, my humble little corner of the digital public square.

I have already offered my two cents on the Birther nonsense and the mouth-breathing white populists who are their base. As a result of releasing his long form birth certificate, it would seem that Obama has ethered most of that crowd. Subsequently, in a nice gesture and complement to the Birther debacle, Carey Carey, one of our frequent commentators, sent the following piece my way. It is a nice and creative final word on the Birther meme. Enjoy.
Gosh, I wish it was all so simple. Wouldn’t it be nice if the recent fiasco concerning President Obama’s birth certificate was merely a movie? You know, like D.W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation, wouldn’t it be nice if we could sit back, pop and popcorn in hand, and enjoy our new Birth of A Certificate for its technical innovations?

On second thought, maybe I should be careful what I ask for. Don’t quote me, but I believe a couple of the main characters in the original Birth of a Nation were abolitionist Congressman Austin Stoneman and his mulatto protégé, Silas Lynch, who somehow is elected Lieutenant Governor. See, the more I think about it, the movie The Birth of a Nation and The Birth of a Certificate have eerie similarities. Let’s see, a mulatto (excuse my French) an elected official and a “Lynch”, yikes, the Birth of a Certificate - Nation - 2011. Oh Lord, but they’re JUST movies, right?

Well, movies or not, I smell propaganda, but I don’t know who to believe? I mean, some folks are saying President Obama caved in under the pressure of Donald Trump. Other have said Mr. Trump is such a double-speaking slime bag. Yet, some folks are saying Obama's campaign posturing of avoiding race and making Black issues marginal is a backturn turn in our navigation of this life in America as Black Folks and some are saying what the POTUS did last week was brilliant.

Well well well, so many views spoken in so many ways. However, since I am an average black man from the flatlands of Iowa, I tend to view things in a different light. See, I am not a self proclaimed political analyst, nor a quasi-intellectual, so I have to tell it like I see it, in the best way I know how.

Listen, I come from a family of storytellers who always enriched their “messages” and stories by opening with little tidbits of information. So, in true family tradition I offer the following to voice my opinion on the Birth of a Certificate.

The night was glare, the moon was yellow, and the leaves came tumbling down. Quantum banter relinquished it's liberally greased floors to silence. Like the toes of the Wicked Witch of The East, retentively coiled upon losing their ruby red glass slippers, I am suggesting the appendages of the black blogsphere should relax it's pointed index fingers to a slightly paused position.

To make a point, I opened with a line from the song Stagolee. Well, let me hit you with a few more lines...

"I was standin' on the corner when I heard my bulldog bark; he was barkin' at the two mens who gamblin' in the dark. It was Stagolee and Billy, Two men who gamble' late, Stagolee throw seven, Billy swore that he throwed eight. Stagolee told Billy, "I can't let you go with that; You have won my money and my brand new Stetson hat." Stagolee went home, And got his forty-four. Stagolee found Billy, "Oh please don't take my life! I got three little children, And a very sick little wife" Stagolee shot Billy, Oh he shot that boy so fast"

Okay, now I’m thinking about some white folks and Democrats vs. Republicans. Therein lies the core of my discontent with people like Donald Trump and those of his ilk. Look, some folks have no shame and are constitutionally incapable of telling the truth. So no matter what we say, real change will never come from their mouth. My daughter has a couple of sayings that addresses that point...“don’t make a liar lie” (don't ask a liar a question, because they are going to do what they always do... tell you a lie) and “That’s yo lie, you tell it, I’m not cosigning that bullsh*t”

Both Stagolee and Billy knew who was wrong, but somebody didn’t budge.

And you know what, Langston Hughes spoke on The Ways of White Folks. I loved the brilliance of Langston Hughes. His artful way of showing people their evil ways - without yelling at them, or calling them enigmatic names - was a stroke of genius.

Hughes's stories were messages from that other America, sharply etched vignettes of its daily life, cruelly accurate portrayals of black people colliding -- sometimes humorously, more often tragically -- with whites".

So now I’m thinking about President Obama and this latest birth certificate fiasco. But wait, if you’re of the mindset that those who use “bad words” and/or vulgar language, only do so because they possess a limited vocabulary, I say miss me with that BULLSH*T, okay. And, if you’re offended by such language.... as Dr. Seuss said,

Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now, cuz I am about to let it all hang out!

Listen, I’ve said this many times, telling some white folks what they’ve done wrong and shame shame shame on them, does little or nothing to persuade them to stop their evil ways. So, since Obama is a black man, and every black person knows how to say “motherfu*ker”... real good, I know he would like to say exactly what’s on his mind. Seriously, although he is the president, if you show me a black person that can’t cus (when they have to) or at the very least say the word “motherfu*ker” with gusto and passion, I’ll show you an Oreo or a black man that lived in a cave on the south side of the moon.

So, although all that political “correctness” and purple prose we and the president find ourselves engaged in - is the championed voice, I can’t help but believe our president would like to sometimes, some GOTDAMN time, tell a mfer what’s really on his mind. Check this out. If the cameras were not flashing, and if he, President Obama, would not be attacked from jokers on the left and clowns on the right, I believe the conversation would have been as followed--

Donald Trump: Mr. President, since you’re a black man and we’ve never had a black president, would you show us your birth certificate. We know your mother was white so we have a few questions.

The President: Look here you fu*kin’ weasel, you can miss me with that bullshit and kiss the pink part of my assh*le. How dare you offend me and my mother in that fashion.

Trump: But Mr. President, the public has a right to know about all the affairs of your mother and rather or not you’re really an American.

The President: Is that right? Well, I hate to talk about yo momma , she was a good ol' ho, with a two dollar pumtang, and a rubber a$$hole. See man, you done pissed me off and set off the natural black man in me. Your mother was talking about wrappin’ her thang around my chin. I told her she should be blowing it out her a$$ and try to be my mutherfkin’ friend.

Trump: OH NO, not another angry black man?

The President: OH NO MFer, don’t start crying like a bitch now, you started this shit. Your eyes my shine and you teeth my grin, but I’m tired of you diggin’ in my ass one mo again... you and all your friends. Hug me, love me, or leave me the fu*k alone, because I’m the HNIC up in this motherfu*ker.

Well my friends, that’s what the president would like to say. Yeah, he’d like to pull out his Johnson and slap some folks with it. See, as I said, some people are never going to change regardless of what we say or what names we call them. So we might as well lead with a good left hook and an uppercut while they keep on jabbing. Yeah, fuck’em and the Confederate horses they rode in on.

Hey, my daddy told me you have to bring some to get some, or get out of the damn fight. Bullies love punks. I don't like punks and I've never been one, and I don‘t believe Obama could have come this far if he remotely had punkish ways. I know he wouldn’t have a strong black woman like his wife Michelle. Forget about it, she’s from the south side of Chicago. I am left to believe some folks will never seek first to understand and will never admit guilt, and will continue to view our president from a very narrow perspective that fits their own agenda.


CareyCarey said...

**CareyCarey is seen with his head down, a can of beer in hand. He appears to be in a large room but nobody else is around. "Oh well" he says, "charge that to the game". Once more he found himself in a rough crowd. He takes the last swig of his now warm beer, straigtens his tie, tips his hat to Chauncey, and walks out the door**

chaunceydevega said...

The public if fickle. And it is hard to bottle lightening ;)

good stuff though.

fred c said...

No sweat, Carey, we're listening. It's always nice to read a good man's ideas about truth and principles. In a way, that's what Stagolee was all about, the man lived and died by his principles (whether we can subscribe to them or not). The last verse, as I do the song, sees the Stack-man found guilty of first-degree-murder and sentenced to the electric chair. "Stagolee died at midnight, head held up high, and the last thing he said 'my six-shooter never lied.'"

fred c said...

Oh, and I've known a couple of Black guys who couldn't say motherfucker with a straight face. President Obama is a good actor, so he could probably manage it, but his heart wouldn't be in it.

CareyCarey said...

Thanks Fred and chauncey. I know my style of "commentary" is not for everyone, so I was glad to see someone caught my drift. I ran this by a friend of mine (before it was posted) and she (our city's poet laureate) said she loved it, but her critical analysis was that the "dissing"/"playing the dozen, talk", might be too much for some people. I do have a propensity to take it to the edge, but as I said in the post, I have to do me.

And in defense of myself, I just finished a one year contract with my local newspaper as a "guest" columnist, which let me express my views without the contraints of being "employed" by said paper. In the e-mails I received from readers, many of them said they appreciated the fact that my "voice" was different from the average boring columnists who write in "writers talk".

"Oh, and I've known a couple of Black guys who couldn't say motherfucker with a straight face"

Great line... and me too. :-)

My father wasn't a cusser and I never heard him say motherfu*ker. But I really believe he could, in the right crowd.

Now President Obama? Yor're right, my guy has many skills, so he could possobly say it better than the best. He's the greatest orator of the last 50 years, or more.

Btw, great take on Stagolee.