Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More to Love is Quite Frankly, More to Love or Where are the Big Sistas on Fox Television's Newest Reality Dating Show?

Black folks can't have anything can we?

First they stole rock and roll. Then they took hair weaves...for the uninformed, hair weaves are now called "hair extensions." In the ultimate and final insult, "mainstream" i.e. White America has stolen black people's love of big beautiful women (well not just black folks as our Latino brothers call the thick sisters "gorditas") with the new reality dating show More to Love.

I love a good freak show. This fondness for the bizarre explains my unending appreciation of fat babies on Maury Povich, "the treeman" on the Discovery Network (what a poor, sad soul he is), Sober House, Intervention and Dr. Phil. More to Love is quite frankly more of the same--a bunch of sad, unhappy, mostly lonely and miserable people looking for love on network television.

It was also entertaining, almost too much so as I felt dirty watching a bunch of bbw's describe in sad detail the exploits (or lack thereof) of their dating lives. Please preempt your rush to judgment. I love women. I love them short, tall, thin, and thick. As the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. of race mixing, my ministry is dedicated to the holy truth that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Our mantra is simple: sometimes you want a petite cut of filet mignon; at other times you want some sushi; and then there are those moments when you want a Big Mac. The trick is to find the right meal at the right time.

But, one must be mindful of the trigonometry and physics of lovemaking across the body size divide because it is indeed true that sometimes even a 747 looks small landing inside the Grand Canyon (for a handy guide on negotiating this practical challenge see one of my favorite books).

Self-congratulatory moment: How can you not love that Tom Arnold/HHH/Oscar Wilde inspired turn of phrase?

The joy of More to Love is that the bachelor, a self-described "big teddy bear," only has one type of meal to choose from. The sadness of More to Love is going to be the sheer desperation of these poor women as they throw themselves at him. Too bad, because if these big beautiful women simply came over to the dark side they would never lack for attention again.

Some thoughts for those of you who watched the show.

1. Where are the big sistas? We have magazines like King and leading sex goddesses such as Buffy the Body but Fox can't find one thick, voluptuous black woman--not the 2 ambiguously brown folks they featured on last night's debut--to feature as contestants? Black folks are overachievers in the arms race that is an appreciation of the donkey booty. How, as innovators in the field, can Fox justify excluding us from More to Love?

2. Wasn't the woman who explained that she has only had 3 dates in her life, and none went past the first meeting, just pathetic? Was I the only one thinking that the dates don't get past step one because she probably sleeps with dude immediately after meeting him?

3. Now, some of the women were just big, as in not sexy big (trust me there is a difference). While others were tall and Amazonian, traits that to my eye are damn attractive and desirable. Are they simply unable to find men who would kill to bed their own personal Wonder Woman, or is it that these women have internalized a size zero beauty standard and therefore have no self-confidence?

4. I wonder what the viewing demographics are going to be for this show? I bet Fox is going to see a huge spike in viewership among black and Hispanic men between the ages of 18-80.

5. Ready for a little self-indulgence? I am.


gordon gartrelle said...

First of all, "fat" and "thick" are not synonyms, but a lot of people--women of all stripes and certain black men--keep perpetuating this conflation of terms. Thick means stacked in a healthy, throwback way. Think Pam Grier in her prime. Truly thick women are rare. Fat women are quick to call themselves "thick" or "voluptuous," "curvy" because they don't want to be considered "fat" (given the negative connotations of "fat," this impulse is understandable).

Also, I foolishly thought that there would be a higher percentage of level headed people on this show (I have no idea why--it is still reality TV, after all). But the way that these women complain and sob about their weight being the only thing keeping them from attracting men is ridiculous:

"Nobody wants me. The world is so unfair. Skinny women get everything they want. Men are so shallow."

And then they wonder why no one wants to date them? These women can't get a man because they're headcases who refuse to accept that they might have a hand in contributing to their relationship woes. As you know, Chauncey, I feel the same way about black women who blame black men, the mainstream media, and white women for the fact that they can't land a man.

RiPPa said...

Awesome wordplay!

"even a 747 looks small landing inside the Grand Canyon"

I doubt that I'll ever watch that show. You see, I'm not like you my man. I'm racist when it comes to BBW's. Yes, and I prefer my Big Mac slightly burned and no, I cannot go for the uncooked or even slightly pink meat.

Thelonious said...

Bemoaning the lack of black women on a show like this is akin to Snoop Dogg's complaint about the lack of black women in Girls Gone Wild videos. Or complaining about the lack of black prostitutes at the local whorehouse. Everything doesn't need to be diverse. Black people should be content to let fox hang the "Whites Only" sign on this particular outhouse.

Venus said...

Truly thick women are NOT rare at all, and also blac thick women can be easily found if you look at people coming form Etiopia or Eritrea for example...

ERIC SXE said...

I only watch this show just for the eye candy. I hate most of these type of stupid shows. I do agree there is a serious lack of color there except for a couple of the ladies. No "out and proud" black, latina or asian women! I love all colors of women myself and definitely thickness!No skinny girls for me. Maybe next season they will mix it up nice and colorful! Those girls definitely need to start dating us black and latin men that PREFER thicker women. Leave the bony blondes to the white boys!