Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What Would a Black Militant Say About Barack Obama's First 100 Days? An Interview with Brother X-Squared

In keeping with our tradition of the We Are Respectable Negroes News Network's (WARNNN) bringing you exclusive news exposes such as our interviews with Jesse Jackson and our White in America series, we bring you the second installment in our ongoing series of interviews with Brother X-Squared, president of the North American Chapter of the Renewed Black Panther Party. In this newest interview we explored Brother X-Squared's feelings on the first 100 days of Barack Obama's presidency.

WARNNN: Hello, it has been a long time since we last spoke. Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed again.

Brother X-Squared: As always Brother Chauncey, I am here to bring the light to all those negroes who remain lost in the wilderness.

WARNNN: When we last spoke, you offered some powerful observations and predictions regarding Barack Obama's campaign. There you expressed your feelings that it wouldn't matter if a Black man were to be elected president, and you expressed great doubt that Obama would in fact win.

Brother X-Squared: That is correct.

WARNNN: As we approach the first 100 days of Obama's presidency, have you changed your feelings about Obama, and do you not think that his election is an amazing milestone for America?

Brother X-Squared: Does a wet dog bark loudly when he is woken up at night by a pigeon outside his master's window?

WARNNN: Excuse me Brother X-Squared? I am confused.

Brother X-Squared: You are always confused Brother Chauncey because the White man's tricknology has gotten your mindstate upset and out of balance. The answer is no and no! This is just part of the White man's master plan as I told you in October--elect a halfrican negro as quote unquote "president" and then you can say that White supremacy is dead. They played you Tom negroes, dumb White liberals, and Obamazombies. They are already doing it, did you not see that the Supreme court is poised to outlaw affirmative action--that little bone that massa threw you negroes--and that a recent survey says that you black fools don't think America is a racist country anymore? Damn, you all don't know how deep the White man's game is. The Tom Negro Coconut lapdogs for massa are playing 1 dimensional chess while the White man is playing that Star Trek, Mr. Spock 3-D chess. You foolish negroes can't possibly win.

WARNNN: I respect your points Brother X-Squared, but you don't think that given American's history that Obama's victory is not in fact a watershed event, an amazing event of Earth shattering proportions?

Brother X-Squared: Watershed? Lord, Brother Chauncey we need to get your mind detoxed. Watershed? How dare you use such a phrase. Water equals the oceans of the Middle Passage. Shed equals where slaves were brought to be tortured by the overseers. The Renewed Black Panther Party has so much work to do in order to free you mental slaves. Furthermore, you keep asking about these 100 days of his presidency? Don't you see how the White man is manipulating you again? 100 Brother Chauncey, 100! don't you get it?

WARNNN: No, I am sorry I don't.

Brother X-Squared: 100 million of us dead and gone in the Middle Passage! Every time the mainstream media talks about 100 they are dishonoring the Black man and mocking our suffering! This is deep, deep, deep, the levels of tricknology that are being deployed to subjugate the captive Black man in America. Minstrel-hop, Tyler Perry, BET, high fructose corn syrup, these Internets, saggin' pants, we the original Black man are in a war for our souls.

WARNNN: I will rephrase the question. Did you as a Black man not feel a little pride is seeing Obama's inauguration? Did that event open you to the thought that there is some hope for American democracy to make amends for its original sin of slavery, discrimination, and racism?

Brother X-Squared: Let me ask you a question?

WARNNN: Of course.

Brother X-Squared: Which president was Obama channeling during his speech and inauguration?

WARNNN: It was pretty clear that Obama was signaling to Abraham Lincoln.

Brother X-Squared: Exactly. This is political theater of the worst sort. Obama is really channeling Franz Fanon, his inauguration was on some Black Skin, White Mask nonsense. Here, we have a halfrican, "Black" man channeling the "Great Emancipator," a man who would have kept us in chains in order to preserve the Union, and who advocated sending us, the Black man who built this country back to Africa after we were "freed." Lincoln didn't love Black people, he tolerated us--barely. And, you have a President using that symbolism...along with "Southern Belles" marching in the parade? A bunch of getting Black folk lynched heifers and sluts, who loved to take a slave to bed and then throw him to the wolves because she wanted to get some of that Sycamore tree that her melanin challenged man couldn't give her, being "honored" in the inaugural parade. Damn, give me a break. Barack Obama as Abraham Lincoln is like tits on a bull--utter and total nonsense, an oxymoron. This is laughable, a not real Black man living in the White House, a house that itself was built by African slave labor.

WARNNN: Changing topics, how would you assess his first 100 days in office?

Brother X-Squared: Are you still Black and broke?

Chauncey DeVega: Yes, and?

Brother X-Squared: I told you that halfrican wouldn't do anything for you and that he wasn't some messiah, but you all fools drank the Kool-Aid nonetheless. Fools, fools, fools.

Chauncey DeVega: Please, answer the original question.

Brother X-Squared: You are always provoking me Brother Chauncey, but I will answer the question anyway. If Obama doesn't fix this economic mess he inherited, then Obama will be the first and last Black president. Again, the White man left this mess. Little Bush, Redneck Clinton, and Daddy Bush created this crisis. Now, Obama is left to clean it up. Those devils at the Federal Reserve, the IMF, and their peeps in the Illuminati, the Bilderbergs, and those other villains played Obama. They gave a Black man the job to further their ends...and to create a Black scapegoat for these problems.

Turn on your television, what do you see? Tea Parties. And we all know what tea parties really are, but that is a convo for another time. You have these dumb working and middle class White folk wanting to overthrow the government and denouncing Obama because a multinational, fascist company, Fox News, is telling them to do so. Dumb, stupid, White folk. They need to read some history to understand how the White working class has been played by rich White men. Again, if Obama don't fix this mess he inherited then he is going to be the last Black man ever in that White House. If he fails spectacularly, then they may round up us Black people and put us in camps. But of course, the pigs know not to confront Brother X-Squared and his Nubian warriors or they will lose--in grand fashion.

WARNNN: Brother X-Squared, I know that you have found at least one thing about the Obama presidency heartwarming. How about their cute puppy, Bo, that charming little dog that the Obama's kids love so much? You said that you love dogs in your first interview, you must be happy with cute, charming, Bo?

Brother X-Squared: Don't bring my four legged friends into this Brother Chauncey, cause you know you are on thin ice with that one.

WARNNN: No offense intended, but please answer the question.

Brother X-Squared: Understood. They even played you with that dog. Look at that canine: he is black and white. Bo is a mongrel! What about his name? Bo? A good old boy, racist name! Why didn't they call the dog Omar, or Shaka? hmmm...makes one think doesn't it?

Ultimately, Bo is mixed race and weak, just like his human daddy. And, they are socializing those beautiful children to accept race mixing. So sickening. To boot, Bo is a Portuguese Water Dog! Damn, again, the White man--the Kennedys gave the Obamas that dog--the Kennedys, those drunken, racist, Irish, rum runners who earned their Whiteness by hating Black people. This is so deep. Don't you see it, Brother Chauncey?

WARNNN: I am not sure.

Brother X-Squared: Think about it--Portuguese and Water. The former were one of the foremost slave traders. Water is how they killed us. The White man gave Obama a living symbol of the ways that White supremacy enacted power on the body of the Afro-Asiatic Black man. Everyday in the White House a slave catching dog that symbolizes AmeriKKKa's hatred of the Black man is sitting at the feet of a "Black" president. Lord above, help my people.

WARNNN: Per our tradition, at the end of our interviews we ask you to tell us something we don't know. What would you like to share.

Brother X-Squared: Swine Flu.

WARNNN: Huh? Please clarify.

Brother X-Squared: The Swine Flu is proof of my prophetic vision. This pandemic encapsulates everything I have warned you about. It was unleashed by the White man onto a Black president. I will even bet you that it was made in some laboratory by an evil White scientist--you will see. And to boot, damn this is so so so deep, the Swine flu, that dirty pig--we can never forget the role of that beast in all of this--is a result of race mixing, just like Obama! The Swine Flu is a combination of human, avian, and pig flu strains. You see, God above didn't want all this race mixing, and now it will be your undoing! I mock your stupidity, those of you who have not had your eyes opened by the knowledge that I am bringing you.

WARNNN: You are always an amazing guest Brother X-Squared. Will we be hearing from you again?

Brother X-Squared: Absolutely.


RiPPa said...

Ok, so where do I sign up? This brother has me sold. I'm ready to convert. Yup, just call me Malcolm XtraBelly.

Kup said...

"The Tom Negro Coconut lapdogs for massa are playing 1 dimensional chess while the White man is playing that Star Trek, Mr. Spock 3-D chess. You foolish negroes can't possibly win." - Priceless

Good read. Thanks for posting this interview...

LoudPen said...

Man, you guys have to be joking with this one. This interview was hilarious! And even though everything he said was far fetched, it could very well be true.

macon d said...

I probably shouldn't show my pale-face around here (has he left yet?), but damn, that was awesome. Thank you!

Unknown said...

brother x.. an ideal dinner party guest for my father...
brilliant series...
cannot wait for the next interview...

chaunceydevega said...

@Macon, don't be afraid Brother X-Squared doesn't start fights, he just ends them.

@Marci, when is the meal so I can arrange a sit down?

@Loudpen, we ain't joking because there is nothing funny about the struggle!

@Rippa, LOL!

chauncey devega

Anonymous said...

I love how you capture that one nuance...these King-Asiatic-God-Allah-Scientific-Big-Black-Africa 3x types NEVER ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!

Anonymous said...

is everyone on here racist? This is not an accusation, just an honest question. I'm sure that "everyone" is not, but it would be nice to hear from them.

anyway, maybe it's because i a crazy white guy, but i like the idea that our president is both white and black, it seems like a positive omen for our country.


Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...


No one here, at least speaking for myself is racist. This interview is as a satire of the New Black Panther, 5 percent, Black Israelite types one sees in most major American cities.

So feel free to laugh!

chauncey d

Constructive Feedback said...

I have chosen not to retype what I just told my friend RiPPa:

[quote][quote]A white ship hitting a white iceberg and thousands of white devils dead. Talk about poetic justice. I love it! America is that great Titanic and it has hit an iceberg where it will sink.[/quote]

My friend RiPPa - Do you mind if I tell you my intention to suggest to Chauncey to ask this brother what his views on "Single Beast Health Care For Those In The Belly"?

You think that my only goal is to antagonize you and other BQPFRCs. It is not. Instead I look past your verbal machinations and consider how they map to your real world activism.

For someone who is cheering as America vacillates toward the edge of the waterfall I would expect this person to STRONGLY OPPOSE more dependency upon the digested slurry for those of us who RESIDE IN THE BELLY OF THE BEAST.

This is a necessary set of discipline that I know that YOU WON'T APPLY TO YOURSELVES Rippa. You see POWER and RESOLVE in this brother's voice. I am not JUDGING HIM on this matter.

I am ONLY detailing what I would expect to see as fortifications of these wolf tickets.

Anonymous said...

@constructive feedback

way to comment on a year old post!
also, you look like a jackass trying to comment on real world issues as a poetic commentator. The truth is that you are lying to yourself about what being black should be. You talk in vague phrases and pretend you meant something deep.
Black people need to see themselves as more than the punch line. As more than people expected to overreact to racial issues. As more than people who are expected to be taken care of. As more than people who get lumped into a single category.

If you read this and are black, take it as sound advise. Consider these words as if they were written by a black person or a white person and tell me how race changes the tone.