Monday, April 21, 2008

Chauncey's World of Ghetto Nerds: Science News You Best Be Abreast of

Open your ears and eyes folks, The New World Order is alive, awake, and doing quite well...that sound's pretty ominous doesn't it? Don't overreact, I am just feeling a bit dramatic today.

Some interesting news bits that respectable negroes and our allies best be paying attention to:

1. A hole in space. Yes, a big, black, ominous hole in space. No, it isn't Madea or Monique. Where does this hole go? What is on the other side? Is it an inter-dimensional time portal that leads to a world(s) where black folk rule, the Middle Passage never occurred, and we have George Jetson like technology? Who knows? Maybe it leads to a dimension where the elder races are still in charge? That foul place HG LoveCraft imagined in his twisted dreams. Perhaps a dimension hinted at by Lawrence Fishburne's movie, Event Horizon.

2. A related thought, I am waiting for the basics underlying unified field theory to become common knowledge. This is some wild shit--pardon my French please. Again, I love theoretical physics (although I am becoming a bit soured on string theory) and the idea that there is one simple formula that explains it all is so wonderfully exciting that I can't explain it to those not in the know. I think the movie American Pimp explains it best: trying to explain why unified field theory is so exciting to an ign't is like explaining rocket science to a wino (in the movie the relational phrases were pimp and square):

I couldn't resist--my favorite part of the movie:

3. This scares the hell out of me: scientists are going to use a particle accelerator in an attempt to recreate The Big Bang. No comment. Haven't these scientists seen the movie Doom or played the videogame on which it is based? More recently, have they not seen the movie, The Mist? Please my scientist cousins (we are in the same union after all, The Empiricist's Brotherhood), don't go playing God because we simple, upright monkey walkers, are not ready for that amount of responsibility.

4. The government of the United States will soon be collecting DNA from every person they arrest or detain. And no, it doesn't matter if you are innocent or guilty. And of course, given the racially disparate detention and sentencing rates in this country we know the folk who are going to be overrepresented in this database. The New York Times and The Washington Post buried this story. Again, if I have to tell you why this is a basic violation of our rights as citizens, then you folks get what you deserve. Remember, remember, the fifth of December! Or better yet, "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety!"

5. The United States military will be able to regrow limbs, skin, bones, and other parts of the human body. I applaud this development because our war-fighters need the best care available. Why am I disturbed? Hmmm, we already have stop-loss orders, and now horribly injured soldiers will be able to return even faster to battle. I love my science fiction and this is so cliche as to be frightening:

In a related story, the next generation of United States Air Force Heavy Bombers will likely be unmanned air combat vehicles (yes, I stay on top of military affairs as well). Couple this with other innovations in robotic war fighting and I can't help but think of Robert E. Lee's quote, and how these "innovations" may take us even further away from his penetrating observation: "It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." Americans keep your eyes on this story because it is going to further redefine how we think about foreign policy, and our relationship to our leaders' decisions and their/our foreign policy.

6. 300,000 U.S. troops suffer from traumatic brain injuries or post-traumatic stress syndrome. These are your brothers, sisters, children, wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers. No comment.

7. Osama Bin Laden's son claims his father is not himself and that he has been replaced by a look alike or a double. In an earlier post I commented on the way in which Junior Bin Laden looked as though he stepped out of The Matrix Trilogy--leather jackets, sexy girlfriend, cryptic, crazy speech. Now, Junior Laden is talking as though pops is a Cylon or other type of replicant. Please son, accept the fact that your dad is a killer--a killer the U.S. trained and that the CIA claimed as one of their best students.

8. Edward Lorenz, the father of chaos theory recently passed away. This man was a monument to science and creative thinking. Yes, a butterfly flapping its wings over the Pacific can indeed cause a rain shower over Chicago (or perhaps an earthquake). I remember learning about Chaos Theory in High School. This moment was a formative one that reaffirmed my desire to continue my education because Chaos Theory helped me realize that learning can indeed be "fun," yes "fun"--as a representative of The Chocolate Nerd Society, I say: "good travels, and may the force be with you Mr. Lorenz as you continue onward in the greatest of journeys."

9. Marek Edelman, the last commander of Jewish forces during The Warsaw Uprising has passed away. You sir, are a real life badass, a man of courage and honor, and we young respectable negroes would do well to emulate half of what you accomplished. Rest in peace Mr. Edelman, you are one of our honored dead and we should think long on what you said in reflecting on your struggle: "We knew perfectly well that there was no way we could win...It was a symbol of the fight for freedom. A symbol of standing up to Nazism, and of not giving in." Bless you, sir, I would have counted myself lucky to have shared a drink with you.

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