Monday, November 5, 2007

Chuancey Devega says: Wes Welker and I agree--go f@ck yourselves

I feel good. Gordon, you hated on me because I am a righteous, respectable negro with good taste. I guess you was wrong. I got my tv on credit and I enjoyed watching the game on it. I only have 60 more payments.

Gordon, you are a homophobic hater. What is wrong with liking professional wrestling? Did you have any idea that I was posing up like Arnold in this video before the game? Plus, make sure to check -4:16 in this video. Please, this beat needs to be looped and chopped. My boys are just like Arnold, and maybe a little Lou Ferrigno, posing and flexing in your faces.

I had a post of me shopping for chitlins, but alas, that is delegated to the archives. And I had prepared an elaborate post about "tricknology", chaos theory and how Gordon Gartrelle was responsible for the New England Patriots losing on Sunday. But then the fourth quarter happened. So, it seems that my ruminations about the white man's technology and his corrupt officiating squad conspiring against my "hood" team the 'Pats will have to wait for another, and perhaps more appropriate, time. I will wait till tomorrow to review the "experts" comments on the games. However, for now I say--and my girl Zora told me I need semicolons after a list that:

1. As the commentators said during the game: a great pitcher beats a great hitter. This game was ugly. And, if you take Addai out, and the questionable penalties, penalties that were facilitated in my opinion by the refereeing crew being told to ride the 'Pats hard (which would jive with the stories a few years back about pass interference calls during the championship and Indy boo-hooing), this is a much greater victory for the 'Pats. In fact, Addai was responsible for the majority--I will find this stat Monday afternoon--of the Colts offense. This is a clear message to the league, as we know, pressure Brady, test their offensive line and mug those receivers-especially if you have a sympathetic group of refs. FYI, did you see that banner in the Indy inzone? hatin' on my folks callin' them cheaters;

2. Again ugly game, but we won. This was like a monkey in a tug of war with a sumo wrestler;

3. Again ugly game, but we won. This was like Chyna from the WWE fighting Joey Buttafuoco;

In keeping with the theme of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a teller of truth, and as a man that speaks truth to power, I feel the same happiness that Arnold conveyed while talking about the Brazilian triple threat: the bunda, the mulata, and the samba...yup, that is what I am feeling as I gloat about the Pats.

As brother Arnold said, to brazilians, especially to men, the mulata is the symbol of everything sexual and erotic, and I can't help but agree:

See in you in week sixteen when we really start to celebrate...


gordon gartrelle said...

I knew deep down that you wouldn't be wolfing down a plate full of shit-lins, but I had to hold out hope.

Not a week goes by that I don't wish for the return of Fox's two greatest achievements after "The Simpsons" and "In Living Color": "Man Vs. Beast" and "Celebrity Boxing." Maybe with the writers' strike we could see them bring it back. My fingers are crossed.

And Arnold may be a sexual deviant and an embarrassment of a public servant, but he's an ass man and he likes the mulattas, so he's OK in my book.

dc_speaks said...

lol...great post!

Have a good one. All of you! I like the Patriots...except when they play the Browns.

Christopher Chambers said...

Respectable Negroes, I have some questions:

1. I'm sure Coach Bill's still filming opposing teams' practices, so how can my two local teams the Ravens and the Foreskins (who are 5-3 only because they are in the NFC, they'd be 2-6 otherwise) get in on the act?

2. Will Angelina Jolie play anther black woman in a movie? Will Halle Berry play another white woman in a movie (a la Crap We Lost in the Fire)?

3. Do you think R Kelly will ever stand trial?

4. Do you think dirrrrty South rapper TI's views on the deteriorating situation in Pakistan and Benazir "Bunky" Bhutto's fate, the No Chld Left Behind Act, raising money by selling cheap debt to China and global warming have moderated since his release on bail?

5. Do you feel ghetto lit queen Teri Woods will indeed collaborate with Toni Morrison and Edward P. Jones on a speculative fiction novel about Keyshia Cole providing sanctuary for Jews hiding from the SS in Occupied Paris, 1943?

Feel free to take them all, or just one... ;-)

Zora said...

Hi Chris Chambers,

Are you in my head? Somehow you were able to glance at our "idea list." Keep checking in and, hopefully, we'll address all of the points on your list.


DaddySax said...

Talk about having your ass out... Go Arnold... what a prime example of exploitation.