Thursday, May 19, 2011

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Baby Mama is Revealed: He is Down with the Brown and Loves the Bunda



Arnie was creeping on his wife. The love child's baby mama is a woman of color. When I saw her picture I said "damn." Arnie, dude, you can do so much better.

But alas, Governor Schwarzenegger's peccadillo is my chance to post some classic Conan, Arnold in his prime, chasing the punani and boasting about his orgasmic prowess clips. I could care less about the governator's adultery. I am a ghetto nerd 1980s baby who just loves him some of the Terminator.

Crom would be proud of your recklessness Arnold. Yes, he would. But next time, find a queen worthy of your super sperm.

11 comments:

Shady_Grady said...

I thought the same thing I did when I saw Monica Lewinsky. I do better than that and I'm an anonymous nobody.

If I had Arnold's wealth, status and power you'd be reading headlines like

"Meagan Goode seen leaving Shady's hotel at 2 AM"

"Monica Bellucci confirms rumours of affair with Shady

"Thandie Newton says Shady's the one!

NOT


"Shockingly unattractive and overweight maid says Shady is her baby's father"


But to each his own I guess. Maybe she looked much better 14 yrs ago but I doubt it...

CareyCarey said...

Good lines Shady Grady (I'd take Oprah) and great opening Chauncey...

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's Baby Mama is Revealed: He is Down with the Brown and Loves the Bunda,Arnie was creeping on his wife. The love child's baby mama is a woman of color.

But alas, Governor Schwarzenegger's ... Arnold in his prime, chasing the punani and boasting about his orgasmic prowess"

Man, when I need a smile or inspiration, I come here for a little come up.

chaunceydevega said...

You can't polish a turd. That woman looked that way forever. If not, you have to use the look at the momma rule to see if you want to get with a chick for the long hall. If mom's is looking bad, your current lady will usually morph into that image.

If I were Arnie I would have Halle, Rosario, Zoe, Little Lupe, Salma, Uma, Bai, Rihanna and a whole host of others coming out the back door of the mansion.

@Carey. I love bunda. I love punani. I love the way the words...and other things...roll of the tongue.

dr. becky said...

Wait - CDV you were born in the 80s? So young, so angry! lol

And if you heard Howard Stern the other day he nailed it: for such married men who cheat it's about easy access and "quality control" (his words) goes out the window in favour of availibility.

gordon gartrelle said...

I'm not gonna lie: I laughed at this & have made similar jokes.

That said, even if we roll our eyes at the battle cries (male gaze, agism, fat shaming,unrealistic & racist beauty standards!), don't you think it's a bit gross that we anonymous assholes are clowning this woman's looks when she never asked to be in the spotlight (unlike Tiger Woods' jumpoffs)?

CareyCarey said...

Damn Gordon, you sure know how to hit a man right in his gut. We don't know anything about this woman other than the fact that she had sex with the governor.

Well... what I was... you know... I was just walking by and Chauncey made me do it. I'll have to watch the company I keep. :-)

Lisa said...

Did not appreciate your digs at this woman. Yeah she had an affair with a married man. But we don't need the whole judging her looks thing. How does it help to offer her up as a possession by saying because of his power and wealth, he could have a prettier woman? Like she's just a THING. Her worth is to be judged by her looks. How does this blatant sexism help anything?

Not cool.

chaunceydevega said...

@Lisa. We can't all be winners. Sorry. That is just real talk.

Anonymous said...

@Lisa, right on.
@chauncydevega, are you a "winner"?

chaunceydevega said...

@Anon. Sometimes; Never; and always. But tonight I won...over, and over, and over again.

Anonymous said...

@chauncey...no you didn't.