Thursday, July 2, 2009

Look at the Negro in the Window! Black in America Part 2, Black Men and Women Issues, and Single Mothers Adopting



CNN is ramping up for its second installment in the Black in America series (to air July 22-23). As CNN builds its momentum towards a second "expose" on the problems of Black America, the network has featured the obligatory stories on the politics of black hair; what does it mean to be African in Black America; an excellent piece on the urban farming movement; and the obligatory rediscovering our past aka our personal version of Roots story.

Yes, as I did last year, we will be featuring our very own White in America series as a parallel and complement to CNN's zoo-like, freak show, pathology parade on black folks.

As an opening volley, here is CNN's latest installment on the problem that is Black America (yes, that phrasing is intentional). And of course these are problems endemic and unique to the Black community: only black professional men want to be players; we are the only racial group plagued by colorism; and stories of heartbreak and loss are unique to black folks...it must be our blues sensibility.

Random thought that I should probably keep to myself lest we start a black man/black woman gender battle royal--I didn't know that black professional men had it so easy! I guess all the professional brothers I know who can't get any play from the sisters are doing something really really wrong--oh well, I have never been very good at self-censoring.

The full story "Single Black Women Choosing to Adopt" is found here. Some choice excerpts:

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"Zoey was going to be born to a single black mother anyway," Fleming says. "At least she's being raised by a single black parent who was ready financially and emotionally to take care of her."

Yet there are some single African-American women who are not emotionally ready to adopt an African-American child who is too dark, some adoption agency officials say.

Fair-skinned or biracial children stand a better chance of being adopted by single black women than darker-skinned children, some adoption officials say.

"They'll say, 'I want a baby to look like a Snickers bar, not dark chocolate,' " Caldwell, founder of Lifetime Adoption, says about some prospective parents.

"I had a family who turned a baby down because it was too dark," she says. "They said the baby wouldn't look good in family photographs."

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The African-American men she dated, however, didn't want to marry, she says. She dated African-American professionals: engineers, attorneys and managers. But there were so many eligible African-American women, and they still wanted to play, she says.

Time was running out for her. At 37 years old, Duren had earned an MBA degree, a six-figure income and had traveled widely. But she couldn't find the right man to raise a family.

One man she thought she would marry broke off their relationship because he said he wasn't ready to be a father. Then he had a child out of wedlock with another woman, she says.

"He broke my heart," Duren says.

The persistent heartache ate away at her.

"I was struggling," Duren says. "I prayed: 'You know Lord, I worked so hard. I have my integrity, morals -- how did this happen?' ''

2 comments:

A. Spence said...

I thought the worse part of that CNN piece on adopting was the comments regarding the children being to dark. 'How sad' is all i could think

MilesEllison said...

Why is anyone watching CNN at all? There's not one person connected with that joke of a network that isn't brain dead.