Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Black Americans are Not Stupid, Nor Do We Need Your Advice: An Open Letter to Townhall's Katie Kieffer


Dear Katie Kieffer, the nice white conservative lady who only has the best interests of Black Americans at heart:

I appreciate your concern for black people's political wisdom. I know these feelings must run deep and could never be a function of a need to write a provocative column for the Right-wing website Townhall, or in response to an almost deranged and mouth-breathing brute force partisan hostility towards Barack Obama, the country's first black president.

I am sure you are a member of the NAACP, mentor and volunteer with organizations which help black youth in under-served communities, have had black people over your house to eat, and count them as friends in some other capacity than as a nurse or maid. I am also sure that you have let those best friends of yours who are black use the toilet in your house, and did not send them to the McDonald's across the street or the corner filling station. You may have also had a black lover or two.

In the spirit of sharing and friendship, I appreciate your worries about how black people are stupid and could use your good wisdom about how to better choose our "leaders." We are only 150 years removed from slavery and are still getting the hang of this freedom thing. Democracy is scary.

You have saved us lots of work by nominating Niger Innis, Harry Alford, and Ben Carson as the brilliant triumvirate which will lead Black America to the promised land that Brother Dr. King envisioned for his people. Black people are lazy by nature. As such, your assistance has saved us much time and energy which we would actually rather spend on sleeping, playing basketball, having sex, eating watermelon and fried chicken, committing welfare fraud, and dancing...there are only so many hours in the day after all.

Our bad habits must have infected the many millions of white people who voted for Barack Obama. Black people can be very compelling that way. Black Americans, with our political struggles and triumphs, style, fashion, energy, and culture, are the most imitated people on Earth. It is only natural that there are tens of millions of white voters who would follow our lead and vote for Obama. I apologize for that as well. Sometimes, we black folks underestimate our magical powers of persuasion.

In a mirror of your deep felt worries, I am very concerned about the leaders of white conservative "real America" that folks like you have helped to empower over the years. Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Buchanan, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Todd Akin, the Fox News Right-wing media crowd, and the Tea Party GOP, are rather embarrassing to the white race.

White folks can do better than that motley lot. I do encourage you to find a better class of white leaders. White people deserve the best. I do hope that we can collaborate in the future on solving that problem.

With love,

Chauncey DeVega

35 comments:

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Lee Viola said...

I'd love to comment, but I just can't hit a neo-fascist hyperlink. I'll take your word for it: She's a racist fool.


PS: And wow! That Nice Mister Doctor Ben Carson sure found the right adjectives to make those white wingnuts his bestest new friend$$$.

Stephen Kearse said...

*Applause*

ABL said...

::standing ovation::

chauncey devega said...

how kind. her heart really is in the right place after all.

chauncey devega said...

applause to you...we need the echo effect. but seriously, I do wonder about legitimating her attention seeking though. But what had to be said was said.

chauncey devega said...

Uncle Ben is getting paid....

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Norbrook said...

Now, now, you're being too rough on her. After all, she only had a few minutes to spare after cooking dinner and taking care of her many children to get on the Internet to tell us her husband's opinion!

Miles_Ellison said...

It's nice that she took time out of her busy schedule of porn to grace us with her wisdom.

I must confess to being confused by some of this criticism, though. Obama is being criticized as a socialist anti business tyrant by one of these courageous bright lights and a guardian of the crony capitalist status quo by the likes of Cornel West and Tavis Smiley. Is a coherent critique of policy rather than unhinged criticism based on rage and envy too much to ask for?

James Wolf said...

I just love sarcasm lol. *Applause!*

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Stephen Kearse said...

Word. Inadvertent legitimization is always a threat, but sometimes you've just gotta be like Nicki Minaj and shit on them.

I wonder why she left out our good ole pal Herman Cain.

Sunkissed said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it true about Dr Carson? Is he really the new Herman Cain? Is he the new black conservative attack dog sent after Obama? I just...I can't imagine it. I looked up to that man. To see him being used to attack us as lazy, violent, government dependent blacks makes me want to faint in disbelief. I recommended his book to be required reading in my high school. He's spoken several times at my local church in Harlem. Somebody give me the facts...ugh...my stomach...

chauncey devega said...

Maybe his shelf-life expired. Her writing is something else. Check out her mess on Jesus the Capitalist.

chauncey devega said...

I guess she triangulated from his hitman work where is a mouth piece against some basic health care as provided by Obama's reforms for Fox News to his status as one of he could destroy the black marxist commie usurper. Old girl is the blonde fascist replacement for Coulter.

Sunkissed said...

Chauncey, It's impossible for Dr. Carson to be the "one" for conservatives. Dr Carson is a Christian yes, but do you know what kind he is? A Seventh Day Adventist, as am I. If the conservatives who are pushing Carson to the front only knew what he believes, what we as SDA's believe about America. Since the late 1800's SDA's have taught that the bible predicts America will destroy separation of church and state become a Christian theocracy in the future. For over 150 years we've taught that one day America will force it's people and the world to be Christian by way of enforcing Sunday as a sacred day of worship and uniting with a resurgent catholic church. We were (are) called a cult because of this, but recently SDA's have been abuzz because of the things the Republican party has been doing and saying. Especially their insistence that church and state separation is a myth. We see the rise of the far right as a sign that the prophecy is soon to be fulfilled. It's part of why I frequent your blog, the things your writing about as reality now we've warned about decades ago. Whether you believe or not, think we're crazy or whatever, if Republicans get wind of what SDA's teach, what Carson himself believes, he'll be outed as an anti-American traitor.

chauncey devega said...

I learn something new every day. What is the political orientation of SDA's? How do they feel--not speak for a whole group--towards the Christian Dominionists/Nationalists?

CNu said...

CDV, why so hard on this little working class hustler? http://katiekieffer.com/about/ - she appears to be virtually self-made.

Cain't errbody obtain access to, and become a selected honorary member of the elite, like say an S.E. Cupp. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S._E._Cupp - fine as she is - S.E. is a made woman, Cornell/NYU - she got the hookup.

As I direct my son's attention to the more nuanced aspects of becky connoisseurship, class must always be uppermost in his discriminative palate. Ride-or-die with a trust fund beats ride-or-die with a tramp stamp - erryday.



That said, I'm struggling to see where Katie told any lies about Obama's disregard for black folks? The Hon.Bro.Preznit is himself a made man, with all the selected, honorary elite bona fides, and removed about as far as humanly possible from any kind of self-made struggle.



Help me out here, white folks with no kind of hookup at their disposal - might just be homing in on that hookup dimension of Obama's background - which no sane, reality based critic/observer would ever dare deny.

Sunkissed said...

Like you said I can't speak for all of us but from my experience growing up SDA we're all over the political map as far as orientation goes, but we tend to downplay any open political endorsements for either party. SDA's are conservative in our beliefs but mostly liberal in our voting habits, not because we favor liberal ideas but because the left tend to be the only ones fighting to keep church and state separate. Recently however there have been some of us who have openly endorsed far right thinking for reasons that baffle me. Given what we believe the bible teaches about the future of America, any legislation that breaks down church/state separation scares the crap out of us. So we either opt out or vote for the opposition as a way to hold back the Judgments of God. You see we believe that the proper interpretation of Rev 13 is that America and the catholic church will force Christianity on the world, which will highly incense God so much so that He will end world history with severe punishment before finally taking His redeemed home. This is what makes Dr Carson's becoming the darling of the far right so heartbreaking to us, and weird. But, we also were taught that some in our ranks would part ways with us and join hands with the greater Christian world who are marching toward their doom.

As far as how we feel about dominionist and nationalist christians we see them too as fulfilling prophecy of a soon to come theocracy. Here's an article to an official SDA publication to give you some added insight into our thinking

http://www.signstimes.com/?p=article&a=44147052544.645

Here is another that goes into those prophetic beliefs I told you about http://www.signstimes.com/?p=article&a=40076036100.645

chauncey devega said...

I respect the hustle. She is positioning herself to be the next Ann Coulter. Lucrative sex object for protofascist conservatives to masturbate to.

I have no use for her telling black folks who or what we should be doing politically. It would be easy to do, but to prove the point someone should do a version of whitesplaining where men tell women what they need to do, or black or brown folks write a similar suggestive letter to white folks,

I have many criticisms of Obama. Her failure is playing the black conservative buckdancer who can interpret the drums for white conservatives and is the approved negro of the moment for the herrenvolk white right nomination game.

CNu said...

WHAAA?!?!? The shrill, combative, nasty Coulter dimension of her hustle is totally invisible from where I sit, as also the sex object fetish outside your projective imagination.

Looks to me like you've contrived a mountain out of the tiniest little mole hill, this worse than that Bobby Hemmett broadside on that crying child.

As far as the rest, pot meet kettle, as the bulk of the WARN oeuvre consists of trying to tell whidte folks how to think, act, vote, and feel. How you gone go after little Katie for a single infraction when you do the very same thing in reverse daily?

chauncey devega said...

Come now. You are playing. Coulter is passed her used by date. This CPAC blonde dream of the Right is the next in line. You know the game.

Re: the sex object fetishism. You are playing again. There is a deep history of the worship of the strong man authoritarian by the right and a deep anxiety about "strong women" while also elevating them as "mothers" of the state. Lots of Fascist and Nazi propaganda has that theme. The interviews from the 2008 CPAC meeting and Tea Party GOP rallies where teen boys and young men were offering up the equivalent of masturbatory fantasies about Right-wing queen Palin is some great reading on this dynamic.

I think you are taken in by anyone who criticizes Obama and this is a type of glamour that works to mask their ugliness for you.

Black and brown folks are experts on whiteness and white folks in ways that are not equivalent for the white gaze. That is a function of the out groups relationship to power in most societies.

I know that you read Ellison's observations about the little man behind the stove back in the day. Perhaps you should revisit them.

Do you have a crush on ol miss katie? If so, you will only be more impressed by reading her bizarre missives on Jesus and Capitalism.

CNu said...

C'mon brah..., miss katie not even remotely approaching my level. I'ma Libby Casey http://youtu.be/OqqMsZELnG4 S.E. Cupp http://youtu.be/2IvBWp9p7Do muhuggah to the bone.

Back in the day it was the one and only Lynne Russell http://youtu.be/4HZXhhe5r_o - and I guess I could leave it to your imagination to projectively decide whether that goes back to bookstores http://youtu.be/-_6K9A0ayqE or Maleficent http://youtu.be/kCV0hy6ex1c - and we'll just leave out that notorious http://youtu.be/2Cua3HtwTP8


I'm sorry, I lapsed into a reverie, what were you saying about Minnesota Katie?

surfjac said...

brilliant

chauncey devega said...

I always had a thing for Diane Sawyer. No accounting for different tastes I guess. But if I had to be with a news type, it would be that brown Burmese sister on MSNBC. Lordie goodness she is fine.

Sidney18511 said...

Absolutly brilliant!

Vjohnson743 said...

Beautiful Chauncey!!!

And regarding the good Dr...

Born in Detroit

Lived in public housing

Went to public school

Attended Yale via Affirmative Action

Where would the good Dr be without the gov't assistance he now decries??

chauncey devega said...

how kind. we try.

chauncey devega said...

you make me smile...

chauncey devega said...

the good dr.? never! not him! how dare you say such things!

Permial Darkling said...

It sounds more like a Bachmann rant and I'm quite sure that servants prepare the meals and take care of the children.

Cutenu2 said...

I haven't read this kind self-promoting garbage in a long time. The mass mentality that Obama is black so he must be right. And if he's not, we'll still say he's right. Low-life mentality with colorful words. It's still garbage sprayed with perfume. You sound like jail house writers.

Bob Baylor said...

"Black are not stupid" Or, as da "reverend" Al Sharpton says "We ain't IGNANT!" lol! Please, actions always speak louder than words.

BlkSultry007 said...

Is she related to that Hassleback chick from the View.......Oh, maybe Ann Coulton...ok, Paula Deen. #theresafamilyreunion4u