Friday, June 3, 2011

Did You Know that Tom Jones was Black? The Black Israelites Share The Secret History of White People with the BBC

Last night I saw X-Men: First Class at a free screening courtesy of Aint It Cool News here in Chicago. I am going back to get more of that goodness this weekend and you all should too.

In the meantime, these Youtube Internets has yielded more lost/found knowledge for our enjoyment.

There is some great synergy here. First, I love the Black Israelites--especially when they fight zombies or make privileged, self-entitled, young white college snowflakes cry. Add them to some Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends, which was one of the best shows on cable at the time (along with Michael Moore's The Awful Truth), and you have a wondrous gem.

I always knew that Tom Jones was a brother. He, along with Emeril Lagasse (who comes from Fall River, Massachusetts and also cooks Hoppin' John Black Eyed Peas for luck on New Years...what other proof do you need!), I have long suspected of passing in plain sight. But, the Black Israelites in their "dropnology" and excavation of hidden histories are also demonstrating how information without context can be quite problematic. Oftentimes, it can often do more harm than good--to all parties involved.

Thus, the "front toward enemy" claymore mine rule of research, teaching, and punditry: take cover and when in doubt make sure that the enemy gets the full force of whatever fire you are throwing out. The Black Israelites's "seminar" with Louis Theroux fits that rubric perfectly.

Earlier this week I shared some of The History of White People. Here is a second dose of Dr. Painter's brilliant historiography. If the brothers in the Black Israelites get a hold of this book they are going to have some real combustibles to work with and folks had best duck for cover when they detonate them:
Jean Baptiste Chardin (1643-1713)--also known as Sir John Chardin--A French Protestant (Huguenot) whose family were jewelers to the court of Louis XIV, traveled routinely to Persian and Indian in the 1670s and 1680s seeking rare baubles for the French royal household...A scientist at heart, he took meticulous notes while racked by constant fear.
Chardin loathed the chaotic Black Sea region, where brigands controlled the highways, often threatening his goods, his freedom, and his life. As he says of Circassians, "it is impossible for them to glimpse an opportunity for thievery without taking advantage of it." They eat with their hands, go to the bathroom right next to where they eat, and then continue eating without washing. Chardin is totally disgusted.

The habits of the Mingrelians (Caucasian people on the northeast coast of the Black Sea) are vile. They "and their neighbors are huge drunkards, worse than the Germans and all the northern Europeans when it comes to drink." Not only do Mingrelians consider assassination, murder, and incest as admirable traits, they steal each other's wives without compunction. The women are not much better; they were too much makeup and their bodily stench overcomes whatever amorous intention their appearance might have inspired. "These people are complete savages," Chardin rails.
Wham. Boom. There goes the dynamite.

As a Friday bonus, here is one more clip from Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends where the irreplaceable Khalid Muhammad offers one of my favorite quoteables of all time on the relationship between white people, fashion, and his choice in pants:


RiPPa said...

You sir, always provide the best in "entertainment" otherwise known as "truth" and "knowledge" via YouTube for us to enjoy.

Speaking of movies: I caught the trailer to Rise of the Planet of the Apes last night and I got extremely excited. I felt some sort of kinship there with the monkeys on the screen as they revolted.

Now I'm wondering, is this a good or bad thing? Is this the result of my yearning for our pre-post-racial days of old? Does this make me a sellout? And lastly, I wonder what would the Black Irealites say about this?

Big Man said...

I need to find a place to use that quote about pants made of white man's skin.

chaunceydevega said...

@Rippa. I am always looking for the dropnology brother. I have a gem I came upon two weeks ago that I am saving for just the right moment of release and mood elevation.

@Big man. When my mom and I first saw this we kept dropping that quote whenever we could. It works in almost any sentence. For example, I am about to go buy a snapple at the 'hood supermarket before going to navy pier to feed the birds some asiago cheese bread "because I would rather have some pants made out of the white man's skin."

Anonymous said...

The notion that those from the caucasus region represent the primary expression of the "white" race comes from an anthropologist's determination that the nation of Georgia produces the most attractive of all humans.

Bob Johnson said...

And of course God, Colonel Sanders,the Queen of England, Mahatma Gandhi. Frank Sinatra, George Goble, St. Peter, Harry Truman, Douglas McAurther, George Washington, Daniel Boone, and every other famous human being on the face of the earth were black.As long as you continue to re-write history and it makes you happy, fine!!

And to RiPPa, the guy who wrote the Planet of the Apes surely could see the future and you should feel some sort of kinship there, that's where history shows where you all came from.

Jay said...

Tom Jones is clearly "white" you racist fuck.

(Bob Johnson) They will claim anyone they want as black except certain people such as "Christopher Columbus". Anyone who was a great inventor, musician, politician, or leader they will claim and they won't need to show any evidence of that because in this generation idiots like the moron that wrote this will believe anything.

Jay said...

"make privileged, self-entitled, young white college snowflakes cry."

I love how he uses racial slurs and say's how he loves seeing the "black HE-BUMS" making white children cry. But see these privileged, heartless, black piles of shit pull this bullshit white privilege myth because they want to hide their black privilege. Just look and see, black people are aloud to spew racist shit for example the "black panthers" and the "black HE-BUMS". Turn that around and put the KKK or skinheads they would be going ape shit if whites were to do it. Plus, when a white person is attacked because they are white this is pure evidence