Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Final Hours of the Church of James Brown Are Here--Come Yee Unwashed Masses and Confess Before the Permed One Returns to the Funky Heavens

The Church of James Brown and the altar of the Permed One are still here for your confessions. But, come tomorrow at noon our revival will end and the most high elected soon announced (i.e. those folks who have won the prizes so generously donated by the Hachette book group).

Come and kneel at the hem of The Most Funky One's cloak and be cleansed of all of your sins!

Once more in our sacred words:

"Oh most amazing James Brown, greatest of all negroes, I offer you my lies and secret shames. All these years I have yearned to share those things which I have pretended to like and adore in the name of being authentically Black. I cast my words into the wind so that you can take our secrets and make these shames unintelligible as you sing them for all time in your unique and spirited language."

1 comment:

Anna Renee said...

You haven't yet ascended, Oh Funky One? OK one more confession: I am tired of growing out my authentic nappy hair to excruciating lengths of nappiness! I started at 1/4 inch, Oh Permed one, but now it's at 10 inches and I hate to disappoint anyone at my blog, but I guess I'll have to admit that I chopped it off--to 1/2 inch of manageable nappiness. Im not trying to offend you or call you out holy permed one--I'm just sayin'.