Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Chauncey DeVega's World of Ghetto Nerds: Who Wins When a Samurai Fights a Viking? or Spike TV's Newest Show, Deadliest Warriors



You know you are getting old when the shows you fantasized about as a child are now being made. To point: Spike TV's Deadliest Warriors. This fun show pits history's most archetypal combatants against one another in computer generated combat. Now, I am not generally a fun of counter-factuals, i.e. "what if scenarios?" because outcomes are a function of a specific time and place. Here, weapons are a function of necessity and the practical challenges one has to overcome. And, how can one decide who the deadliest warrior is in the modern context, where individuals are supported by other assets (be it artillery; air power; long-range intelligence and surveillance)? Moreover, how does one decide who actually "wins" without including the heart, drive, and personality of each warrior in the equation.

Nevertheless, the show makes for great viewing and should be required for all ghetto nerds. Be advised, the first two matchups are a bit controversial. The first show's featured matchup was between a Gladiator and an Apache Scout--an odd pairing, but the show was exciting and well executed. The second, and here is where this ghetto nerd gets upset, featured a Samurai versus a Viking. My people the Samurai won (of course), but a more classic matchup would have been a Knight from the high Medieval period versus a Samurai--this would have been one hell of a thing to see. The third episode features a Ninja versus a Spartan Warrior. I will not ruin the outcome, but will only say that a standup fight between a Ninja and any adversary is outside of the very utility and essence of what a Ninja did/does embody.

These observations hint at the brilliance of the show--late night bar conversation between armchair historians about something that never happened. Quintessential ghetto nerdness.

Here is an episode guide and a featured clip:



Random questions.

1. Greatest military leader? Greatest warrior?

2. Should Ike have rearmed the Germans after World War 2 and under Patton unleashed the Allied Army on the Russians? Who would have won?

3. Other matchups: Delta Force versus Navy Seal Team 6; British Royal Commandos versus U.S. Marines; Gurkhas versus the Isreali Special Forces; a Mameluke versus an Aztec warrior. Your picks?

4. F-15 verus Su-27?

5. Technology aside, is the Abrams series of main battle tanks the best in history, or does that title go to the T-34?

7 comments:

marci said...

omg.. i love this

am going to have to watch the whole series on youtube... have not seen it here in the uk... and cannot possibly wait until it gets here...
this is made4me television... fighting, science behind weapons and improbable adversaries..
am not going anywhere this weekend..lol!
thanks much for the heads up..

oh and alexander the great.. always..

Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...

Wow Marci! You go girl. There is no way you are single as every ghetto nerd is chasing you across the pond.

But, do you like Alexander or is it a secret crush on Brad Pitt?

chauncey d

Anonymous said...

How could you not mention the Zulu? I would match them against the Apache or Spartans.

Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...

Good one anonymous--I demured on that match up as it the season finale of the show! Shaka versus William Wallace.

chauncey d

marci said...

@ chauncey....brad who???
alexander.. totally single minded, a leader, an explorer, a conqueror and gay as all hell!!
how can you not love him??

secretly i wold love to see a match up of samurai v klingons.. actually - any warrior tribe v klingons!!!

i have 3 brothers and had to learn to love to battle from an early age... i thank them for it...

Lady Zora, Chauncey DeVega, and Gordon Gartrelle said...

I always get troy and alexander (the two movies) confused.

I meant Colin Farrell.

Klingons and Samurai! I would buy that one for a dollar!

cd

Anonymous said...

1. Greatest military leader?I think this is a toss up between Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan. Based on achievement, they are the two top dogs in my opinion. Greatest warrior? If you mean person, I’d say Miyamoto Musashi. If you mean culture, I’d say ancient Sparta.

2. Should Ike have rearmed the Germans after World War 2 and under Patton unleashed the Allied Army on the Russians?No. Despite Patton’s foresight of a cold war between the East and the West, Eisenhower made the right choice. The USSR in May of 1945 had the most powerful military in the world. Plus, they had relatively shorter supply lines than the US. And while a joint US / UK / German attack against the USSR would have significantly hurt them, the ensuing violence would have destroyed the rest of Europe with a significant chance of failure on the part of the West. The best the West could have hoped for would have been a return to pre-conflict boarders.

3. Other matchups: Delta Force versus Navy Seal Team 6; British Royal Commandos versus U.S. Marines; Gurkhas versus the Isreali Special Forces; a Mameluke versus an Aztec warrior. Your picks?Wow, interesting match-ups! My choices would be Navy Seal Team 6; World War 2 British Commando; Israeli Special Forces; an Aztec warrior.

4. F-15 verus Su-27?Both aircraft are evenly matched against each other. As a result, I would say that the deciding factor would be the quality of pilot, as well as who could fire first. As a result, I would say that the F-15 has a better chance of winning.

5. Technology aside, is the Abrams series of main battle tanks the best in history, or does that title go to the T-34?For modern tanks, I would actually say that the Leopard 2A6 is superior to the M-1A2. But, as far as the best main battle tank ever, from any era, I would say that honor should go to T-34/85.

-Bill the Lizard