Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Chauncey DeVega's World of Ghetto Nerds: Who Wins When a Samurai Fights a Viking? or Spike TV's Newest Show, Deadliest Warriors
You know you are getting old when the shows you fantasized about as a child are now being made. To point: Spike TV's Deadliest Warriors. This fun show pits history's most archetypal combatants against one another in computer generated combat. Now, I am not generally a fun of counter-factuals, i.e. "what if scenarios?" because outcomes are a function of a specific time and place. Here, weapons are a function of necessity and the practical challenges one has to overcome. And, how can one decide who the deadliest warrior is in the modern context, where individuals are supported by other assets (be it artillery; air power; long-range intelligence and surveillance)? Moreover, how does one decide who actually "wins" without including the heart, drive, and personality of each warrior in the equation.
Nevertheless, the show makes for great viewing and should be required for all ghetto nerds. Be advised, the first two matchups are a bit controversial. The first show's featured matchup was between a Gladiator and an Apache Scout--an odd pairing, but the show was exciting and well executed. The second, and here is where this ghetto nerd gets upset, featured a Samurai versus a Viking. My people the Samurai won (of course), but a more classic matchup would have been a Knight from the high Medieval period versus a Samurai--this would have been one hell of a thing to see. The third episode features a Ninja versus a Spartan Warrior. I will not ruin the outcome, but will only say that a standup fight between a Ninja and any adversary is outside of the very utility and essence of what a Ninja did/does embody.
These observations hint at the brilliance of the show--late night bar conversation between armchair historians about something that never happened. Quintessential ghetto nerdness.
Here is an episode guide and a featured clip:
1. Greatest military leader? Greatest warrior?
2. Should Ike have rearmed the Germans after World War 2 and under Patton unleashed the Allied Army on the Russians? Who would have won?
3. Other matchups: Delta Force versus Navy Seal Team 6; British Royal Commandos versus U.S. Marines; Gurkhas versus the Isreali Special Forces; a Mameluke versus an Aztec warrior. Your picks?
4. F-15 verus Su-27?
5. Technology aside, is the Abrams series of main battle tanks the best in history, or does that title go to the T-34?