Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sadly, NPR's "News and Notes" has been Cancelled--In Its Place We Bring You "Conversations with Brother X-Squared"

National Public Radio has canceled News and Notes, its only African American themed news program. Farai Chideya, News and Notes' excellent host, will certainly go on to bigger and better things and we wish her the best. In an effort to fill the vacuum created by the cancellation of News and Notes, the We Are Respectable Negroes News Network (WARNNN) is inaugurating a new series, "Conversations with Brother X-Squared." This new program will dissect, analyze, and offer compelling commentary on breaking news events. We are both gracious and fortunate that Brother X-Squared has agreed to join the WARNNN staff. Brother X-Squared's initial appearance on WARNNN made clear his unique brand of incisive wit and penetrating commentary. Accordingly, we are proud to bring you the inaugural installment of our newest feature, Conservations with Brother X-Squared.

WARNNN: Brother X-Squared, this is an exciting moment. We are pleased that you have agreed to join us on a recurring basis.

Brother X-Squared: It is I who am blessed. Thank you. But, let's be clear the real beneficiaries of my presence on your esteemed website are all those damn foolish jiggin tom coons whose eyes are still not open to the realities of white supremacy.

WARNNN: You do hit the ground running Brother X-Squared...

Brother X-Squared: There is no time for rest. We have rested for too long, now we have to renew the struggle with more effort and determination now that you confused black Americans have had that nigger wool pulled over your eyes by Barack Obama's victory.

WARNNN: An appropriate segue Brother X-Squared. How did you feel at the moment of Obama's victory? As a black man you had to experience some small amount of pride in his victory, no?

Brother X-Squared: Come on, does a wet duck quack?


Brother X-Squared: You aren't up on your negro folkisms are you? The captive black Africans of America have really lost contact with their roots. The answer is no, an unequivocal no. As I predicted during my last appearance, of course he won! This is a trick that the white power structure has played on you foolish negroes. Remember, the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing man that he didn't exist. The white man has tricked you fools into believing that because they gave you that half-rican as president, that white supremacy is dead in this country. Give me a your eyes black people. White supremacy is so twisted and complex that now white people and those tragic half-breed, mud babies are trying to claim Obama as well. This is laughable. Truly laughable. I was actually sickened watching all those fools cheering and jumping up and down after Obama won. They were like happy slaves on Christmas Eve cause massa gave them a little money and the day off. Shameful.

WARNNN: What do you think of his cabinet appointments?

Brother X-Squared: Same old same old. He appoints that old hag Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State with that first "black" president Bill Clinton as her shadow. See how weak Obama is? He appoints that race baiter who ran against him to represent the United States abroad, typical. The white woman really is the black man's kryptonite--he can't resist having Miss Ann in his house. Moreover, they may put another white woman, a Kennedy, in Clinton's vacant seat. Again, a white woman being replaced by another. Predictable. Frankly, it's probably a carryover from loving his white momma. As for those other appointments, what has he done? He has put some light skinned mulattoes in charge. They didn't ask any strong black men like me to be in the cabinet, did they?


Brother X-Squared: Of course not! They are scared of my too strong, too proud, too unapologetic black truth. Next question.

WARNNN: We have had an interesting week. We have the Blagojevich scandal in Illinois and we have President Bush's surprise trip to Iraq, where he was "introduced" to the shoes of an Iraqi journalist. What is your take on these events?

Brother X-Squared: I am personally offended by what happened to Bush in Iraq.

WARNNN: That is surprising, you actually feel bad for him?

Brother X-Squared: Hell no, why would I, a new Black man and revolutionary leader, feel sorry for the head massa? I am offended that the Iraqi reporter compared Bush to a dog. I love dogs. They are smart, loyal, and kind. Bush is none of those things. As a dog lover I am offended by the comparison because Bush has no redeeming qualities. On that Blagojevich mess, I am laughing. You know why?

WARNNN: No, Brother X-Squared, please tell us.

Brother X-Squared: In America, a white ethnic can come to America and a generation later his child can be governor. He is an Eastern European. They weren't even considered white until the early 20th century in this country. And the first word immigrants learn when they come here is "nigger," that is how they earn their whiteness, by hating black people. Interestingly, this new white man is trying to auction, get the emphasis? AUCTION off Obama's seat. White folks are so deep in their science. Obama is president elect, but his position can still be auctioned off like he is a slave. This race science is deep black people. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

WARNNN: This is the part of the show where we ask you to make two predictions. What are some news stories we should be looking out for in the coming weeks?

Brother X-Squared: I will give you three things. First, on the economic crisis, there will be more pimps like that white man in NYC who swindled those rich white fools out of 50 billion dollars on a pyramid scheme. If a black man steals a television he gets locked up for twenty years. When these crooks steal all that money they get a slap on the wrist--and get the government to give them money. Predictable. Eventually, we will see those formerly rich devils down in Harlem applying for welfare and Section 8. Brother Marx was right, all of this capitalist wealth is all so much of an illusion and now it is disappearing into vapor. The white man will learn, he will learn.

Second, negroes need to watch the story about Sarah Palin's church burning down. They are going to say it is a hate crime and make her some sort of victim. There they go again, using laws designed to protect black people from the most extreme white devils, to protect that old ice queen. Third, and I love this one 'cause it didn't get much attention, Premier Bush is not letting Obama move into the presidential guest house. See that! although Obama is their chosen one, they are making sure Barack knows that he is still a house slave. They are telling him, "no boy! you best know your place until we tell you otherwise." Where is the protest and anger? Nowhere because you slaves are happy you got thrown a bone.

WARNNN: Final question, in the spirit of Meet the Press and the Chris Matthews show, tell us something we don't know?

Brother X-Squared: Anal sex. Yes, I said it. You featured a story on this site about what you call "booty love." That sex act, as depraved and dangerous as it is, was introduced to the black man and black woman by Europeans. They are experts and purveyors of the unnatural. Now they have disseminated their wickedness to our young black men and women. Black people, regardless of what misguided negroes like Chauncey DeVega say on this issue, you must resist this wickedness. Ultimately, this is just one more way that white supremacy is literally bringing black people to their knees. Stay on your feet and stay strong.

WARNNN: A great interview. Till next time?

Brother X-Squared: Of course, I am the voice of truth in these troubled times.



THAT REALLY SUCKS!!! I LOVED NPR NEWS & NOTES!!!! I SUBSCRIBED TO THE DAILY NEWSLETTERS!!!! URHHHH!!!!!! Like one of the only sensible black based broadcasts out there!!! DAMMIT!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Church said...

You should pitch this show to Fox. Call it, X-Factor.

chaunceydevega said...

Church, that is a great idea. I think I will proceed.

No, seriously because they would likely sign him.