Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Chauncey DeVega says: Sometimes You Can't Make This Stuff Up--Man Arrested While Trying to Collect and Drink Young Boys's Urine

As a respectable negro, I take pride in providing information about strange happenings to all of my friends and family (and in reality you all just know I was trying to find a way to talk about something nasty and freaky). This was the impetus for this site as our friends got tired of our many forwarded emails. Now, given the wonderful platform that is the internets--I like that word--here is the latest development in the "we are a society too sick to survive." Apparently, we have a urophiliac (not as cool as a fecalphiliac...i.e. the episode featuring my favorite South Park character, Mr. Hanky) who enjoys finding creative ways of collecting and drinking little boy's pee. Yuck!

Here is the story and the video:

Man Accused of Obtaining Boy's Pee to Drink

An Ohio man faces charges after allegedly hiding in public restrooms to obtain and drink boys'urine.Alan Patton, a convicted sex offender, was found trying to collect urine inside a men's restroom at Sports Ohio in Dublin, according to police. Sports Ohio is a facility that features miniature golf, batting cages, Go Karts and a picnic pavilion, among other amenities.Police said that Patton, 56, had shut off water to the urinals and placed cups inside them. Police charged Patton with criminal mischief, reported WBNS-TV in Columbus, Ohio.Patton faced the same charges in 2006 after putting plastic wrap and cups in urinals in public restroom toilets in an attempt to collect and drink the urine of young boys, reported WCMH-TV in Columbus.After his arrest in 2006, Patton told police that he suffered from urophilia, a sexual fetish involving urine. He also told police that drinking boys' urine made him feel like he was "drinking their youth," WBNS reported.At that time, Patton was told by a Franklin County judge that he was not allowed to enter a public restroom nor facilities such as movie theaters and libraries. He is supposed to be under electronic surveillance, WCMH reported

You are just nasty sir!

Now, I know we have quite a few resident pee pee drinkers...well actually folks that like to pee on others...in the black community, and some of them are celebrities:

But, rather than impulsively judge someone else's lifestyle, I decided to do a little research about pee pee drinking and its "positive" effects.

So here's Johnny!...no, oh well...Let's play the "did you know?" game instead.

1. Did you know that urine is therapeutic? Apparently, it is good for the skin, and if you drink pee, it works in a holistic fashion to heal all that pains the body? I learned something new. From Natural Skin, Natural Beauty:

"Dr John Armstrong (author of The Water of Life) emphasizes the need to massage with urine. He insists that cures work faster and more effectively in those who are bathed, massaged, rubbed and soaked in their own urine. He highly recommends it for more serious illnesses, since urine is absorbed through the skin and the hormonal and protein-based contents are slowly reabsorbed into the system, bypassing digestive juices that otherwise may have neutralised their potency. In this way, it also works as an excellent cosmetic for moisturising and healing skin blemishes, burns and scar tissue. However, for this usage, it is preferable to use urine that is 4 to 8 days old. The smell of ammonia in the old urine is not toxic but actually beneficial if used topically only, and not taken internally. Urine can be massaged topically for the most chronic and stubborn skin problems, such as acne, eczema, psoriasis, ringworm, sores, fungal infections, insect bites, wounds, burns and even gangrene. (Ureacin, is a urea cream for skin problems)."

2. Did you know that villagers in China tout the health benefits of drinking urine? Maybe we Americans are behind the curve on this one? Is this going to be a an Olympic sport? Are good non-pee drinking Americans going to be competing against super-powered, pee drinking Chinese supermen? Not fair. But, given that China is exotic and mysterious, with thousands of years of history, maybe the Yang Guizi should consider drinking a little of nature's natural lemonade?

3. Did you know that this is why Africa is a failed continent? Apparently, the government of Cameroon has banned urine drinks because they are a health hazard. Come on folks, if China, a rising superpower, has endorsed pee drinking, perhaps our friends in Africa can get behind this initiative as a way of improving their societies?

4. Did you know that apparently, India, another decrepit and old culture, also loves pee drinking? See, I knew we folks were behind the curve.

5. Back to America's heartland aka "Bush Country": Did you know that Meth heads will do anything to get high? It seems that these folks are now filtering their urine in order to recapture any meth they may have excreted out through urination. Damn! I thought crack heads were crazy back in the day, but did they ever drink their own pee? Wait a minute, you don't have to answer that question...

6. Did you know that I love creative writing? I love the prose, the language, the rhythm of words put to paper. Apparently, some creative types have found inspiration for their writing by fantasizing about pee and golden showers. From the Sprinkles, Golden Showers website here is some wonderfully inspired, erotic, pee pee inspired writing:

"The morning was hot and sunny so we ordered a big breakfast and set out to do some desert exploring. We took a lot of water with us as well as sodas and some snacks. We took a big blanket, and set out to see the desert around Albuquerque NM. We went to the north and struck out on a little dirt road that looked interesting. We soon found ourselves in a little canyon that had a small waterfall and was green and cooler than the surrounding desert. We decided to take a swim. We striped out of our clothes and ran naked to the cool water. I had drank a 2 liter bottle of water and had to pee so bad when I hit the cool water, I swam up and jumped on my friends back and let go a stream of hot pee down his back. He immediately got hard and turned around to let a hot stream go on my bare tits. Oh did that make me horny. I started to splash him with water and we had a big water fight...."

I have to admit, I am a bit titillated.

7. Did you know that if you read the above story, and you are a "piggy" who wants to "get in the tub" and enjoy some "water sports" make sure to click on this link to find all the "wet" and "hot" nightspots in the Boston area? We do strive to serve the public after all.

8. And yes, there is always a black one:

9. Did you know that Al Pacino once starred in a movie called, Cruising, where he played an undercover cop trying to arrest a gay serial killer? It really is a cult classic, Al dances with men, Al exposes New York City's gay kink subculture, and Al let's the rest of us in on the secret codes of the street (make sure to choose the yellow handkerchief:

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