Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Niggaro Universe Proclaims: Barack O'Bama-Visionary, Leader, Cut from the Cloth of Ronald Reagan, a Hero, and Future Leader of These United States

****Because of the hole in the space time continuum created by the Large Hadron Collider, the Niggaro Universe has overwritten the universe of We Are Respectable Negroes. Scientists are diligently working to correct this problem, and it should be rectified in the next few days. For now, because of the influence of this alternate reality things are changed. Our Barack Obama is now "Barack O'Bama," a white Republican, Sarah Palin is a black Democrat, Joe Biden is Joe Biden but just a Republican, and John McCain is a maverick, Democratic populist. Zora, Gordon, and Chauncey have been replaced by their doppelgangers from the Niggaro Universe. They are the same, yet different. If you too have been changed by the disruption of the space time continuum do not feel obligated to resist. Instead, indulge your new self until this Crisis on Negro Earths is remedied****

I am disgusted by the attacks on our candidate by the Democratic Party. They say he mocks them, that he is a sexist, that he smears Sarah Palin as being a pig with lipstick. They are afraid of his potential I tell you. They are afraid of his patriotism. They are afraid of what they believe is an impossible dream come to life. O'Bama cannot exist in their America. But I tell you, in our America, in the America of Republicans, there are thousands, millions, tens of millions of little O'Bamas, boys and girls, waiting, yearning, preparing to change America--spurred on by Barack's example, and in their own time ready to make history.

I sit here teary eyed as I think about Barack O'Bama. He is a visionary. He is a true leader. He is experienced. He is ready to lead. America is at a cross roads and fate has blessed us with an amazing leader. While the Democrats would tell you that he is not ready to lead, that he does not have the experience to lead, that he is embroiled in petty local politics, tarred by his associations with "real" Americans, we patriotic, God fearing, heartland, lunch pail voters know differently.

O'Bama is our story. What person doesn't see Ronald Reagan when they hear his voice? Who can't be proud at his amazingly American story? Visualizing this young man in that most American of States, Hawaii, surfing and swimming, embodying even as a child, the wonderful and amazing diversity of peoples, creeds, and places that these United States have to offer.

Barack's life is an American story. He is the product of immigrants who rose from humble beginnings to find success. Barack never complained, never cried foul, never apologized for his life circumstances. Raised by a single mother, reaching out to mentors wherever he could find them, and a God fearing man, he found his way to Harvard University--that most esteemed and elite of institutions. From there, he graduated as president of the Harvard Law Review and went onward to win positions as a representative for the state of Illinois on both the state and national levels. America is amazing. Don't listen to those America haters, those tired "liberals" in the media, those who no longer believe in the hopeful possibilities of America's greatness. Ask them: where else could a man of such humble beginnings find his way to the White House? In what other country could a man raised with the values of the heartland: hard work, distinguished service, educational excellence, and loyalty to family find himself at such a young, age, only 3 months away from the being President of the most powerful country in the world?

Family matters to Republicans. Family matters to Walmart moms, those Americans struggling to do the right thing even when it is easier to do the wrong thing. Family matters to those small town Americans who comprise the beating heart and soul of this country. Family matters to those blue collar Americans who pay their taxes on time, volunteer in their churches, and contribute to their communities through volunteer service.

Family matters to Barack O'Bama. Community matters to Barack O'Bama. When it was easier to go to Wall Street or to a big investment firm, our nominee said, "No!" Instead he went to work as a volunteer in Chicago. When it was easier to run off and make millions in the private sector our nominee said, "No!" Instead, he entered into that most selfless of professions and became an educator. When it was easier to take the public's money as he ran for president our candidate said, "No!" Instead, he said I can stand on my own. This is your, our, America's Barack O'Bama.

Some would say that this story of uplift, of self-help, of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, the Barack story is a lie, a fantasy, something that we Republicans cling to in our nostalgia. What the Democrats don't understand is how this story is true, it is reality, it lives in every small town, in every entrepreneur, in every child and grandparent of immigrants, in every ancestor of those who arrived on the Mayflower, and in the soul of every child whose parents hail from Latin America, China, or Korea. America works because its citizens believe that it works. America is embodied in men and women like Barack O'bama.

And I won't lie, America is embodied in wonderful and supportive partners and spouses like Michelle Obama, an amazing woman, mother, friend, and I will admit it, because we all need a wall upon which to lean, that rock upon which Obama rests his tired and weary shoulders after he has come home exhausted and tired because he has fought for you, the American people. And how can you not love those beautiful, poised, and charming children? America, Barack is our America. Barack is our family. Barack is you. Barack is me.

Some say America's best years are behind us. Some say we are an imperial country, and Lord I hate that idea because what empire has given the people of the world so much? Has given so much to so many?

No, no, no, no! We are a giving people. We are a righteous people. Barack O'bama, a future world leader, a man that publics around the world are supporting, are rallying to, is the next, greatest, hope, for peace and prosperity. Think about it my fellow Republicans, Barack isn't even elected and the world has anointed him its leader. It is only in this party, a party of great individuals, where men and women rise because of their ability and not because of patronage, where excellence is cultivated, and we are beyond the petty identity politics which would allow a fraud, a hollow hope such as that Sarah Palin to be considered for vice president, that a man like Barack O'Bama could be nominated for president.

Barack, like Reagan, just as he stood before those wonderful Ivory white, Romanesque columns, that magisterial display that was our convention, will anoint a new era. America, following the leadership of this considered, confident, accomplished, and amazingly intelligent young man, will bring young and old together, healing the wounds of petty division, and crossing the divides of party to usher in a new American century. We, us, America, will once again be a beacon shining on the hill for all peoples starved of freedom, for all people who yearn for change, and for all Americans ready to walk forward into another century of American greatness.

Barack O'Bama you are our child of destiny. Barack O'Bama we are indeed lucky to have you as our future president.

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